Hypochondria for others?

[deanyd_17]

Is this a thing, or is it just plain paranoia?


My wife recently gave birth to our first child (a wonderful, healthy boy we named William Taylor) and despite the fact that every aspect of this kid's birth and development has been normal, I am finding myself freaking out over every little cough, hiccup, sneeze, funny coloured poop that comes out of the kid. I am certain, in my brain, that everything about him is medically fine, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that something is about to go terribly wrong and will blame myself if there's any sort of mishap on my watch. Any advice?

 

[Alex]

Some people do worry about others, but that is also called caring. In what you described it maybe being protective over your newborn and that's quite normal, because this tiny little life depends on you right now and you want to protect it from harm.


I think if you speak to most new parents they will be over anxious about any sounds they make, any falls, or cries. I remember looking after my friend's baby for an hour and I was anxious making sure they didn't fall or harm themselves, and it's just being responsible (overly, which is better than not being responsible), but in time it will pass when the toddler can do things for himself.

 

[LovelyLiz]

It's the same kind of worrying, so I'd imagine it's relatively normal to feel that way - especially when your child is especially young and vulnerable. Though I'm not a parent, I have this fear that if I were I'd drop or mishandle my baby, and cause some permanent damage - it always makes me anxious when I see a parent throwing their kid up in the air or something similar, even though they're clearly confident about what they're doing.


A pregnant friend has been really worrying about the state of her baby, getting paranoid about whether they are healthy - that's partially brought on by the fact that she's had some quite severe health issues herself in the past year, but it's been more an irrational anxiety than anything based in evidence.


The only advice I can give is:


1 try and be rational - look at the facts you have, and react to that, not your worst fears.


2 talk to other parents, who've been where you are now


3 Try and do something relaxing, whether that's meditation for your anxiety, or just getting away to play games or chat with friends.

 

[Sue]

It is perfectly normal when you are a first time parent to worry about your child. Then again once you become a parent you will worry about your child no matter how old they are. They will always be your babies and you will always want to protect them. That worry never really goes away. You are always going to be looking out for them and wanting what is best for them. I agree with LovelyLiz it will help if you talk to other parents. I am sure that will make you feel better knowing that others are going through the same thing. It is all a part of life and as time goes on you will get use to it and not obsess so much about every little sneeze, cough, etc.

 

[nicky.bada]

I'm not sure what the name is for it but yea, this is most definitely a real thing. Though you are a first time parent so this is actually really common. That's your child, you helped create it. Being worried about the health of your baby, even worrying that it stopped breathing for no reason is completely normal. Now if it has been something you always delt with, worrying for others health. Thinking they must have this or that illness all the time, that could be or turn into the hypochondria for others.


Hope this helps!

 

[amy88]

I think that's just being a parent to a degree! I have a one and a half year old, and as a first time mom I find myself googling every symptom, like you if there's a cough or a sneeze or anything that seems to indicate illness it worries me. The people close to me say that they were the same with their first children. They've said that with their second (and more!) children, they seemed to ease up a bit, as they knew that if the child had a cough or cold that it didn't spell the end of the world. I try and take some comfort in their words!

 

[Hoop3]

I just had a baby 4 months ago and I am going through this same thing. I convince myself she's going to have a terrible affliction. I fixate on specific things, and I blame myself for the fact that I think she is going to have that problem. I won't go into specifics because it could be too trigger-y. But I sympathize because it feels horrible. I really don't know what to tell you, if I figure anything out I'll post it. I am thinking about meds. For women who give birth it's called post partum anxiety, but men have a lot of changes too, so except for the hormonal changes, you may be suffering from something similar.

 

[AngelaMc]

I know when I was a new parent I also worried like this, you definitely aren't alone. I think we all do this when our baby's are born. I used to obsess about everything and wonder if I was doing it right or if something was supposed to be or look the way it was. I don't think you're paranoid at all, a lot of us act this way.

 

[Natasha0717]

I don't have any children, so I've never worried about anything like that, but I do know how you feel and what it's like to get into the OCD-worrying about a loved one's health and well-being.

I was this way with my Grandparents from when I was a little girl, all the way to when they both passed on. I was constantly researching their symptoms and trying to figure out what was causing them, even asking doctors online, etc. Because if my Grandparents weren't okay, then I wasn't okay. It was as simple as that. I do miss worrying about them. I would do anything to have them back and research their symptoms for them again.

Also, even though I've never been a parent, I do know that many new parents do indeed worry about every little cough and sniffle, and that what you are doing here just might be totally normal. He's a lucky little boy.