How to get over fear of losing mental prowess?

[LiveAndLearn]

Ever since I was young I valued nothing more than my imagination and intellect. I grew up quite poor with a mother who had bad panic attacks trying to raise my brother and I on her own. My mind gave me an outlet to explore, have fun, and feel safe. Since then I have worked hard and am blessed enough to be making 6 figures doing work in the sciences. And yet I am plagued with a fear of losing my mental capabilities that robs me of joy.

I have bad anxiety when it comes to mold, as certain strands can produce neurotoxins. It was discovered that my mother's house may have mold above a dripping ceiling, now I am obsessing over the thought that while visiting her I MAY have been exposed to something that damaged my mind (even though I have no symptoms). And it's not just mold. Anything that makes me feel like Ive damaged myself. I realize it's a part of life that as I grow older my mind will go, but it robs me of all joy thinking I may lose my mental prowess and become "damaged goods".

How do others deal with this fear? How do I hold on loosely, but dont let go, as the song says?

 

[Kelculator]

From what you've said, I believe your mental prowess is something you value very greatly, and you think the achievement gained were solely (at least to a very great extent) because of it. You are very insecure about losing that, because you see your intelligence and achievement as something that defines you or made you valuable... As you said you are afraid losing it would "rob you of your joy".
Perhaps you focus too much on your mental capabilities and it has become a huge part of your life. We are only anxious about things we are afraid to lose or will be hurt by. Now, focusing on that it not a bad thing, and I'm happy to know you have gained greatly from it, but I see it as unhealthy to become such a huge part of you that you believe this is where your joy and value comes in.
I really don't have a solid solution to this problem, but your intelligence or whatever you value the greatest about your mental capacity, is not what made up "you".
Maybe you can try to see it as in a third-person angle? Imagine someone pouring their whole life into painting, and they are afraid that an accident or disease will leave them paralyzed. What advice would you give them?