How to get doctors to listen when you actually DO have a problem?

[chickentender]

TL/DR: How do you get doctors to take you seriously when you're having an actual medical issue? I feel that telling them about my anxiety disorders is relevant info, but then they don't take any actual issue I say after that seriously.

I've posted here several times about rashes and things. Well, I'm pretty upset right now. My rashes on my face have gotten worse, so I'm going to a new dermatologist again in a few days(the dermatologists in the clinic near me tell me they don't know what it is but one said it may be rosacea). But, another skin problem that I have been seeing doctors for for YEARS with no help is also acting up.

TMI warning, this involves talk about gynecological issues:
I have been having burning and intense pain in my vulva for YEARS. It hurts to wear pants, hurts to pee, sex makes me bleed and hurts, touching my skin hurts including wiping myself and taking a shower, so now I have to blot instead of wipe, or I'm in pain etc. FOR YEARS I have gone to Gyns in pain, completely upset, having painful sex and avoiding sex altogether due to the immense pain just to have them run STI testing and tell me all is clear, they see irritation, but they don't know what it's from I've had them tell me it's in my head, I've had them insist it's from sex at times when I wasn't even having sex, despite me telling them this!

So now that the skin on my face is getting worse with rashes that burn and turn red and come and go, I have really had it with the years of burning pain in my vulva as well. So, I looked again with a mirror with the help of my boyfriend and what we discovered were large fissures. One healed and another came up in a different spot shortly after. This isn't herpes or any other STI as I have had full panels run repeatedly (I also had complete bloodwork with my GP recently and all was well except for a vitamin D deficiency, I also asked a Gyn if I could be entering early menopause and they said I'm not), but touching my skin or having something touch it will result in this burning pain that I now realize is a fissure! I get them around the back door also unfortunately, but that area isn't nearly as sensitive.

Basically, if I test negative for STIs, they don't care about my quality of life. When I see the dermatologist, is it ok to mention this skin issue? It's a new to me male dermatologist. I am thinking of not mentioning my anxiety because once doctors hear about that, they don't take any real health issues seriously. I'm just so upset to see that after years of pain, something really is wrong and no one cared and literally shrugged me off or told me to schedule appointments to come in to talk about idiopathic vulvar pain related to psychological causes. Meanwhile my skin has been breaking open at the slightest touch this entire time.

Sorry to vent. I've just had it with the pain and being shoved off for years and I'm very upset to see that there is an actual issue going on and for years, I have been trying to convince myself of what doctors kept saying, that it's in my head. To the point that I had convinced myself that the intense pain was just normal and that all women probably constantly have some kind of pain there.

 

[Cuchculan]

I find that if anybody, especially doctors, know you have it anxiety, they will always say ' it is just your anxiety. Or, are you syre it is not just your anxiety. It happens a lot. Part of the problem of having anxiety. It is a label. One that is used against you a lot. ' Must be just your anxiety '. I have been told there is nothing wrong with you, without the doctor even looking at me. Kind of like I love visiting the doctor. Which I don't. I hate going near the place. I avoid it if I can. But they have me down as suffering from anxiety. So that will always be there answer.

 

[chickentender]

I find that if anybody, especially doctors, know you have it anxiety, they will always say ' it is just your anxiety. Or, are you syre it is not just your anxiety. It happens a lot. Part of the problem of having anxiety. It is a label. One that is used against you a lot. ' Must be just your anxiety '. I have been told there is nothing wrong with you, without the doctor even looking at me. Kind of like I love visiting the doctor. Which I don't. I hate going near the place. I avoid it if I can. But they have me down as suffering from anxiety. So that will always be there answer.

Yes, exactly! And I am truthful because if it is actually anxiety, I want to know instead of sending the doctor and myself on a wild goose chase. However, they really had to not be looking to not see these splits in my skin. And I haven't felt them actually physically trying to look the way I had to to find the source of the pain last night. I'm debating whether I should even tell the next doctor about my anxiety. It can really mess with you though when everyone says it's anxiety and despite immense pain for years, you've been trying to force yourself to believe it because therapists and everyone say that not believing doctors is a sign of anxiety too. Which it is....ugh. It's a catch 22.

 

[cheer_mom]

Try sitting in a sitz bath to help relieve some pain. Definitely tell the dermatogist. He is a medical professional. I wouldn't mention anxiety as it doesn't cause fissures.

 

[chickentender]

Try sitting in a sitz bath to help relieve some pain. Definitely tell the dermatogist. He is a medical professional. I wouldn't mention anxiety as it doesn't cause fissures.

Thank you cheer-mom. The sitz bath does help. I have used it for the fissuring I have in the region next door and I noticed that the pain on my vulva gets better when I use it also.

 

[bigjetplane6]

Thank you cheer-mom. The sitz bath does help. I have used it for the fissuring I have in the region next door and I noticed that the pain on my vulva gets better when I use it also.

Any color changes in vulva?

 

[Belizz]

It may be a skin issue like eczema actually. As it's known to cause skin break and bleeding. Not to mention pain, the skin down there is delicate. I think it also can be the cause of yor face skin rash. Especially if it's painful.
Yes a dermatologist can see the problem down there and treat it possibly.

 

[blueberries]

While my physical problems are different than yours I run into the same problems when going to the doctor - they do not take me seriously, ever, ever, ever. As soon as they see anxiety or depression then everything is written off to that. I don't even mention it to the doctor but because I have to list valium as a prescribed med they assume I have anxiety. However I was prescribed this NOT for anxiety but because in the past I have had severe vertigo attacks and valium is the best thing for these as it acts directly on the vestibular system.

Unless something is easily seen on an x-ray or pathology or blood test or biopsy doctors are often forced to give it their best guess. It's very frustrating as we expect them to know what they are doing and to give us a correct diagnosis but they often get it wrong or at least admit they haven't a clue. When all else fails they say it's anxiety and thus the problem gets thrown back on the patient. I once had a bad skin rash and in one appointment (after wrongly diagnosing me with lichen simplex chronicus at my first appointment) the dermatologist said I had psoriasis then eczema and then scabies. He was wrong on all accounts. Turns out I had dermatitis herpetiformis, the skin form of celiac disease.

Definitely tell the dermatologist about your problem (and you can skip the anxiety part). Once you break the ice with that you will probably find it is much easier to talk about. I'm not a doctor but what you describe does not sound like anxiety at all. I sure hope your new dermatologist will be able to help you and give you an accurate diagnosis with good treatment.

 

[Joshua1]

I suppose you have to stress the points. Persist in what you say and be open and honest.

 

[Belizz]

I pester doctors really. I mean it. I ask every question in my mind and I ask about all possibilities. I don't care if I sound and look stupid. It's my very right to seek answers. Otherwise, why would I go to the drs?
Some drs have to measure their own blood pressure instead when I am done with them lol

Older and experienced doctors did actually give better diagnose without insta-ordering tests. I trust them more.