How do you talk to someone about possibly being depressed?

[Camden]

I’ve been feeling not myself for quite a while. I’ve dealt with diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and OCD for quite some time. I began taking Lexapro last summer (I’ve been on it now for 9 months with mostly positive results). I take lorazepam as needed (usually 2 or 3 times per week).

My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. She had been unwell for a long time, and finally had a peaceful end of life experience at an excellent hospice home. I’ve been wrestling with the sadness that comes with a death in the family. I’ve stumbled through denial and on and off surges of sadness. I have my good days and bad days coping with it…

In addition to processing the death in my family, I’m also going through a difficult season at my work. I individually am doing great on the job and have received occasional praise from colleagues and my boss.

My work is causing me both mental and and physical ailments. My upper back seized up every Sunday and Monday, I wake up feeling sick to my stomach nearly every day, and I have a constant sense of dread going to work, as if something will go wrong with each new day.

This long term anxiety is now making me feel more sad, tired, and disinterested. It takes great effort on my part to engage things I once enjoyed, such calling a friend to meet after work, or going to the store to buy food for a recipe I want to make. I have a hard time getting out of bed most mornings and my first stop when I get home is usually my bed. I have never had an unwanted urge to hurt myself or someone else. I’ve cut back on alcohol and caffeine to reduce my sad feelings and anxious feelings respectively.

I feel like my job is causing me to lose touch with who I am, what I stand for, and what my God-given gifts and talents are. I feel more like a machine than a human going in every day to do my work, keep my boss happy, and keep up appearances that everything is just fine in my life. I’m usually too tired and emotionally drained from the anxiety I deal with at work to visit my friends or engage in my hobbies.

I’m more emotionally tired from the endless stress at work and the emotional blow of losing my grandma. Would it be wise to inquire further with my counselor that this could be depression?

 

[MATD]

It is depression. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. We often develop apathy from prolonged anxiety. That’s all it is. And it’s not your job causing your feelings, it’s your REACTION to the job. All those feelings, both physical and mental are just symptoms created by your reaction. Acceptance has to be applied to all of it, both anxiety and depression. Get your book back out and read again and again as needed. Did you get Carl James’ book, It’s Only Anxiety? He gives us a look at his own struggle with anxiety and how he applied acceptance. Acceptance isn’t an immediate cure, it takes time and practice, but if applied consistently, it works. Our crappy thinking got us in this mess, and it will take time to straighten it all out, but it’s possible. My own recovery isn’t going like I thought it would, I’ve had setbacks galore and I’ve had to adjust my expectations many times. Anxiety is very pervasive, it creeps back time after time, just when I think I’ve rounded the corner on recovery, there it is again. I’ve learned that I have not been totally accepting, that I have been accepting only to chase away the symptoms that I am so afraid of. Acceptance has allowed me to see what I am doing. So while it may seem that acceptance isn’t working, it really is. It has cleared my mind enough for me to see what I am doing. So now on to the next phase. Total acceptance. In my journey, i have had to learn a lot, and this is part of it. Total acceptance doesn’t just happen overnight, but practicing it clears the mind enough to see the problem so we can take the steps to the next phase. I often compared it to peeling the layers off an onion and it is certainly is turning out that way. So don’t give up on acceptance. It may seem like it doesn’t work, but it does. If we keep examining our expectations and find them to be hindering us, we must adjust, because they are holding us back from discovering the next phase. As I said, anxiety is pervasive, and the fear of it goes very deep, into our very core. It takes time, practice and persistence to get to this very core. As Dr Weekes said, let time pass, and that is something we have a problem with. We want it NOW! But it just doesn’t work that way. Acceptance is a journey through learning what we have done to ourselves with all the rotten, negative thinking and learning to correct it. It’s learning how the anxiety and fear has caused all the negative and sheds light on the reality. Acceptance is something we didn’t learn early on and instead we adopted fear which blinded us to reality. Fear is only an emotion, and we have to learn to accept it as part of life, but we also have to put it in it’s proper perspective. We cannot allow fear to dictate how we will live. If we do, well, we will find ourselves exactly where we are right now, bogged down with all the baggage we now have. The old saying about getting thrown from a horse applies to it all. If we don’t get right back on that horse and try again, but instead we allow the fear to keep us from getting back on, well, we never know the joy of riding that horse. The moral of the story is about not letting fear keep us from anything. It is, as stated, just an emotion.

 

[Sloth54]

I’ve been feeling not myself for quite a while. I’ve dealt with diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and OCD for quite some time. I began taking Lexapro last summer (I’ve been on it now for 9 months with mostly positive results). I take lorazepam as needed (usually 2 or 3 times per week).

My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. She had been unwell for a long time, and finally had a peaceful end of life experience at an excellent hospice home. I’ve been wrestling with the sadness that comes with a death in the family. I’ve stumbled through denial and on and off surges of sadness. I have my good days and bad days coping with it…

In addition to processing the death in my family, I’m also going through a difficult season at my work. I individually am doing great on the job and have received occasional praise from colleagues and my boss.

My work is causing me both mental and and physical ailments. My upper back seized up every Sunday and Monday, I wake up feeling sick to my stomach nearly every day, and I have a constant sense of dread going to work, as if something will go wrong with each new day.

This long term anxiety is now making me feel more sad, tired, and disinterested. It takes great effort on my part to engage things I once enjoyed, such calling a friend to meet after work, or going to the store to buy food for a recipe I want to make. I have a hard time getting out of bed most mornings and my first stop when I get home is usually my bed. I have never had an unwanted urge to hurt myself or someone else. I’ve cut back on alcohol and caffeine to reduce my sad feelings and anxious feelings respectively.

I feel like my job is causing me to lose touch with who I am, what I stand for, and what my God-given gifts and talents are. I feel more like a machine than a human going in every day to do my work, keep my boss happy, and keep up appearances that everything is just fine in my life. I’m usually too tired and emotionally drained from the anxiety I deal with at work to visit my friends or engage in my hobbies.

I’m more emotionally tired from the endless stress at work and the emotional blow of losing my grandma. Would it be wise to inquire further with my counselor that this could be depression?

It would be a great idea to speak with your counselor. You could very well be having depression now with everything going on in your life. Usually anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand. Your counselor could help you manage this. Believe me I know that anxiety and depression are difficult to manage alone. it really feels good to vent to somebody else who can help! I have counseling virtually and it works great. Take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting some kind of exercise even if it’s just walking. Also eating healthy is important to keep your immune system strong. Take one day at a time and do one positive thing for yourself every day. We all care about you, so please let us know how you’re doing!

 

[blueberries]

Yes, definitely talk to your counselor about this. You are carrying a heavy load, let him/her help you get through this rough time. More likely than not they are already aware that you are depressed.

 

[Camden]

It would be a great idea to speak with your counselor. You could very well be having depression now with everything going on in your life. Usually anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand. Your counselor could help you manage this. Believe me I know that anxiety and depression are difficult to manage alone. it really feels good to vent to somebody else who can help! I have counseling virtually and it works great. Take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting some kind of exercise even if it’s just walking. Also eating healthy is important to keep your immune system strong. Take one day at a time and do one positive thing for yourself every day. We all care about you, so please let us know how you’re doing!

Hi Sloth54 thanks for the kind and encouraging message!

It continues to be a day-to-day struggle with the crippling anxiety and out-of-the-blue feelings of terrible sadness. My grandparents on my dad’s side are now both ill and in need of surgery. My sister in law is pregnant, so that’s yet another earth-shattering change on the way. All the while, I’m still dealing with a contentious work environment.

On the bright side, I’ve had a few truly wonderful days where I nourished myself socially and physically. I made time to visit my two best friends to try some new restaurants and bars, watch some mindless hilarious tv shows, and talk cars and lighting. We have the same hobbies and interests so it’s always a breath of fresh air to hang out with either of my 2 best buddies. They help me feel loved and appreciated and help me to feel like a “somebody.” It also gives me a break from the ongoing health problems with my grandparents and other stressful things in my family, and my toxic work environment.

It pays to seek out what and who makes me feel happy. It’s time to start my job search again and make a point to cherish my friendships. Chances are, I could leave Wisconsin and go move back to where I went to grad school, or move somewhere down to Chicago where one of my aforementioned friends lives, along with a plethora of great job opportunities I’m suited for.

 

[Cuchculan]

You have so much going on in your life right now. All of which can weigh on a person's shoulders. But you seem to have a plan. That is a good thing. You know what you want. How you would like your life to shape up. This is what you are now chasing. All this is a good thing. Have read many similar posts over the years. Suggested to people to sit down and make a plan for their life in the future. Put some form of structure into everything. It might not happen straight away. But it is there to chase down. You have those plans and that structure. The depression could be simply all that has been going on in your life. Your grandmother, rest her soul, a job you seem to hate, your other grandparents unwell and your sister. That is a lot for the brain to process. Why it is all happening at once. Some times there is no real reason. These things just happen. If we try and make sense out of it all, we end up more lost. Hope your plans all work out for you. If might take time. But never stop chasing what you want in life.

 

[Olivia9497]

Discuss your concerns with the person in relation to what you have witnessed. Educate people that depression is a medical disease that typically improves with talk therapy center and is not a sign of weakness or a personal failing. advocate enlisting professional assistance. It's best to start with a medical professional.

 

[PieFan]

How are you doing as the year progresses @Camden ?

 

[Camden]

How are you doing as the year progresses @Camden ?

Hi PieFan, thanks for asking I’m doing pretty good for now. I’m seeing my counselor monthly and I’m in a good place with medications that work.

I’m still dealing with a few physical ailments, my back pains and early morning sickness. I’m working on getting my physical health back on track. I’ve been looking into gym memberships as I enjoy swimming and yoga. I think it’s going to feel great to start moving again.

It’s been a long journey with saying goodbye to my grandmother earlier this year. I’ve really bonded with my parents over this loss and I’ve inherited some nice furniture from her house. It’s little things like that that allow her to live on in spirit for me. I still have a lot of sad moments, but I also feel joy that she’s no longer in pain and in a Better Place.

My trip to Poland this summer was awesome and just the amazing diversion I needed to break up the monotony of my life. It was so amazing to visit distant family and see the land of my ancestors! While away on this trip, I did beautifully as far as anxiety management goes. Goes to show me that a lot of my issues come from things at work and other problems I deal with back home. This motivates me to go back and visit Europe again and get out and see the world while I’m still young. My trip helped me realize there’s a big exciting world outside of the small bubble of my daily life and the struggles that come with it.