How do you motivate yourself to do housework?

[listener1987]

This is specifically for those people who, experiencing depression or anxiety, feel paralyzed and unable to keep up with homemaking responsibilities such as cleaning, cooking, etc.


It's always been a struggle for me - even now that I am enjoying a "normal" period mostly free from depression. I hate housework. Oh, I love cooking, but I don't keep on top of anything else - or if I get caught up, it's not for long. When it gets really bad, I'm rewashing loads of clothes that I forgot to take out of the washing machine days before...


I've tried lots of methods. Binders, notebooks, cards, websites, games, different types of lists. And it's really not about the method in the end; it's about wanting to do it enough to use the method.


Still, I do love trying new things. Even if they don't stick, I get excited and make some progress.


What practical or mental things do you practice to get housework done?

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

I do my housework in bits and pieces. Like scrubbing the bathroom floor. I would just scrub one square foot at a time. I would scrub and scrub until that one square foot really is clean and shiny. For me, this works in two ways. One, by doing bits and pieces at a time, I don't feel lazy because there isn't that much to do. Then, like scrubbing just one square foot of the bathroom floor, it makes the rest of the floor look bad and I feel inspired to do the rest. Always one square foot at a time.

 

[listener1987]

I do my housework in bits and pieces. Like scrubbing the bathroom floor. I would just scrub one square foot at a time. I would scrub and scrub until that one square foot really is clean and shiny. For me' date=' this works in two ways. One, by doing bits and pieces at a time, I don't feel lazy because there isn't that much to do. Then, like scrubbing just one square foot of the bathroom floor, it makes the rest of the floor look bad and I feel inspired to do the rest. Always one square foot at a time.[/quote']
Okay, so the "bits and pieces" thing is something I'm always tempted to do, and it does get the "bits and pieces" done. But when I have three whole bathrooms to clean, 1500 square feet of carpets to vacuum and floors to sweep and mop, three loads of laundry and two beds with sheets to be changed and a dishwasher full of clean dishes with dirty dishes piled in the sink, and it's 6 pm and I have no idea what's for dinner, I don't have the luxury of doing bits and pieces all the time! Not to discount your experience, but can you think of a way to make your method fit for me?

 

[thecorinthian]

The only thing that excites me about housework is cooking. On weekdays I sweep the floor and wash dishes because it's something I think should be done everyday but on the weekends I really dig in deep into housework. I brush and clean the bathroom and wax the floors and at the end of the day when I think I deserve a reward I cook a good meal with wine and relax. Cleaning actually helps me with anxiety.

 

[Jemina]

I reward myself if I get some housework done, such as "I can eat that apple when I've done the dishes" or "I can watch my favorite TV show if I've cleaned the bathroom first". That way I have something to work towards and find I get more into getting the cleaning and chores done that way. Otherwise I don't get what I want. I find that I learn to associate doing a chore with a reward that way as well and don't mind doing it so much then.

 

[MellowCat]

In short, when I was at my worst -- I simply didn't. I did not even try much of the time because I was so depressed. My ex coming home from work and saying, "you were here all day, why didn't you_____?" would only make it worse.


Now that I'm generally doing better, while I still hate housework (not many people do like it!), I feel more inclined to care what the place looks like, and that it is clean. I don't ever stay completely on top of it. Most people don't have time or energy to have a perfectly clean house all the time. But being happy certainly helps.


So, if you are in a bad place with your mental health, I don't have a whole lot of recommendations because very often I didn't do squat. I couldn't. But some things that might have HELPED would have been having a friend come over and help me with something, even if that was just to do something else or be there while I cleaned. I wish I would have thought of doing that, but I was so depressed that even that didn't occur to me.

 

[lexinonomous]

I try to do my housework by maintaining the house as I go along with my day. I feel that if there is no mess being made, I won't have anything to worry about in the future. I try my best to clean up after myself immediately after making the mess. It helps to maintain the house and leaves more room for fun activities. It takes so much stress off of my day when I know that there is no chance of running into a mess at home.


I used to let my house get messy and was too lazy to clean up directly after. My house looked like a pig pen. Once I started cleaning up after myself, it left me with much less anxiety and helped me cope when I was feeling depressed.

 

[Corzhens]

I am a lazybone in the house lately maybe because of the stress that I get from my job. But there are times that I would get the energy to overhaul the furniture in the living room or change the curtains in the bedroom. I am fortunate to have a housemaid who can do the house chores for me but there are tasks that only I can and should do particularly the personal things like clothes. And I realize just now that I usually do chores at home when I am kind of depressed. My husband would always tell me to move and do something when he knows that depression is trying to set in. I always tell him my problems in my job so he is up to date on what's going on. And with that, he is quick on the advice in telling me what to do to fight off the blues.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Okay, so the "bits and pieces" thing is something I'm always tempted to do, and it does get the "bits and pieces" done. But when I have three whole bathrooms to clean, 1500 square feet of carpets to vacuum and floors to sweep and mop, three loads of laundry and two beds with sheets to be changed and a dishwasher full of clean dishes with dirty dishes piled in the sink, and it's 6 pm and I have no idea what's for dinner, I don't have the luxury of doing bits and pieces all the time! Not to discount your experience, but can you think of a way to make your method fit for me?

Alright, how about trying this? I have only one small bathroom to take care of, so I do only one square foot at a time. Since you have so much more to take care of, you just increase the size to, say, one square meter, or more. Still do it in parts but make each part bigger. Then the bigger space which you have to clean will still get done. Just curious. How did you end up with that much space to take care of? Surely you are not living alone in all that space. I think it's time the other people in the house do their share of the work as well.

 

[hades_leae]

I do the same thing, I hate cleaning my bathroom. What I always fdo is pour bleach, detergent, dish washing liquid in the tub and some other stuff because I don't really know how to make it clean, and then I will wake up the next morning, or come home from work and go to take a shower just to realize that I didn't ever finish cleaning it because I didn't want to deal with it. I generally just go lay down and think about going and finish cleaning it up, and doing so makes me think that I already finished it until I go take a look and see what I didn't do.


I do that with other things in the house as well. Now I just finish it because I know I don't want to deal with it later. It wasn't that hard, it was just the thought of starting now, and then not finishing until hours later when I knew it didn't need to take more than 20 or so minutes.

 

[AlysBunny]

I seriously struggle with housework. I still don't really want to do it but I have the things I'm responsible for and I have to get them done. I read somewhere that sometimes when we give ourselves permission to do something badly just to get it done that we learn doing it isn't so bad. Then once the habit of doing it is firmly established, we can work on doing it better. I don't have as much space to deal with as you do but I decided that making cleaning up small things a habit was easier than letting things get bad enough to be overwhelming.


I 'force' myself to do stuff. Like, I put my dish-drying mat on top of the stove cover. I wash dishes at night after dinner and in the morning, I must put them away before I can make breakfast because they're blocking the stove. I reduced my dishes so that our household can't go more than a day. If I don't do the dishes before bed, the next day, we'll be washing them just to use them. I don't have enough for them to pile up so they can't. It's more of a pain to wash them as we use them than to do them all at once at night so I just do them...and then they're blocking the stove so I have to put them away before breakfast.


I reduced our clothes the same way I did with the dishes. If I don't do laundry every week, I don't have clean underwear. I can't live with that, even if I'm very depressed, so I throw the load of laundry in once a week and get it at least into the dryer and dried so I have clean clothes.


I clean the bathroom every day - meaning: clean the toilet, wipe out the shower, wipe the sink, and swiffer over the floor. It takes me 10-15 minutes. I'm not saying that it's a perfect clean every time. I do it quickly and sometimes badly...but I decided that a quickly cleaned bathroom everyday was better than a bathroom cleaned perfectly once every couple of weeks and then slowly getting worse because I didn't want to do it again. I treat my kitchen and bedroom the same way. I make my bed quickly by just throwing the top sheet and comforter back up over the bed.


Every now and then, I spend a lot of time procrastinating as I look at different organizational systems and ways to do things. I get enthusiastic but like you, I find that the enthusiasm wanes and I go back to not getting things done. The thing I end up falling back on is "just do it quickly and get it over with."

 

[beautifullybree]

I just have to force myself to do it every day. I out consequences behind it like "if you don't you're boyfriend will be mad". Somedays its easier than others. I will admit that I never get as much done as I'd like to though. I still have a far ways to go.

 

[Sunshine00]

I make myself a very short and simple list - usually with 3 to-do items on it. The majority of days I can somehow motivate myself to get those things done and sometimes more. If I miss an item I give myself a "pass" and it goes on the list for the next day. The reality is, I could make a list every day with a dozen to-do items on it but who ever said I have to constantly be doing something? Today my to-do items are: 1. go to the gym, 2. Change the bed linens, 3. Do 1 load of laundry. I hope I make it and I hope you do too!

 

[Nessundorma]

Start small, build momentum.


I done a long explanation of this here.


http://www.anxietycommunity.com/forum/tips/7799-over-coming-being-overwhelmed

 

[amy88]

I make myself a very short and simple list - usually with 3 to-do items on it. The majority of days I can somehow motivate myself to get those things done and sometimes more. If I miss an item I give myself a "pass" and it goes on the list for the next day. The reality is' date=' I could make a list every day with a dozen to-do items on it but who ever said I have to constantly be doing something? Today my to-do items are: 1. go to the gym, 2. Change the bed linens, 3. Do 1 load of laundry. I hope I make it and I hope you do too! [/quote']
This is basically my go-to method as well. If I feel like I have too many things to do, it overwhelms me so much that I end up doing nothing at all -- I'm sure there are others that feel the same way. When I have just a few tasks on the list, it tends to be easier to tackle.


Also I find that music helps my mood. If I clean to music, it doesn't seem to be such a horrible overwhelming task.

 

[LovelyLiz]

This is going to sound terrible, but I tend to let my housework get out of hand unless I've got visitors coming over. None of my friends and family are openly judgmental when part of my personal space is a bit of a mess, but I naturally get anxious about worrying what they might think. When I've made plans for a friend to stop by in a few days' time, I find that helps motivate me to get things tidied up!

 

[vampoodle]

When I need to do any kind of work (whether it be housework or homework,) I put on music with a beat to it. It distracts me from most things going on in my head, and I can focus on the rhythm while I work. If you're having a particularly bad day, this won't work and I would suggest just having a rest. Thanks for sharing <3

 

[listener1987]

Alright, how about trying this? I have only one small bathroom to take care of, so I do only one square foot at a time. Since you have so much more to take care of, you just increase the size to, say, one square meter, or more. Still do it in parts but make each part bigger. Then the bigger space which you have to clean will still get done. Just curious. How did you end up with that much space to take care of? Surely you are not living alone in all that space. I think it's time the other people in the house do their share of the work as well.

I live with my husband, but he works full time. I feel like "his share of the work" is the 40 hours/week he's at his job! He will help me if I ask him to, but I don't like to ask unless I am really unable to do it - or if the house is really bad.


We have a 1500 square foot house with three bathrooms. Three of the bedrooms hardly require any work because we only use two of them when we get foster kids, and I don't touch my husband's messy office - lol. So it's more space to take care of than yours, but in my opinion it's not too much space.


At the moment we don't have kids, though sometimes we take in foster kids and I can get them to help me out!


A lot of my work comes from all the cooking I do. There's a lot of shopping which takes energy; and of course, shopping involves unloading the cart, unloading the van, putting everything away. Then I cook, which leads to lots of dishes! Thankfully we have a dishwasher, but that still takes some time and effort. And then of course the kitchen counters and table and stove get dirty because I use them so often. However, cooking brings me joy and I don't feel like it's a chore (usually!)

 

[listener1987]

This is going to sound terrible' date=' but I tend to let my housework get out of hand unless I've got visitors coming over. None of my friends and family are openly judgmental when part of my personal space is a bit of a mess, but I naturally get anxious about worrying what they might think. When I've made plans for a friend to stop by in a few days' time, I find that helps motivate me to get things tidied up![/quote']
Oh my gosh. I HEAR YOU. Seriously, there have been times I've called a friend and said, "Are you free? Can you come over in an hour, just so I'm motivated to clean?" They say, "Oh you don't need to clean up for me." I say, "I know. You're a good friend. But having company motivates me and motivation is what I need right now."


After hardcore cleaning, they come and we get to visit and have tea and it's such a nice reward! (I'm an extrovert, so socializing is a good reward for me!)

 

[listener1987]

When I need to do any kind of work (whether it be housework or homework' date=') I put on music with a beat to it. It distracts me from most things going on in my head, and I can focus on the rhythm while I work. If you're having a particularly bad day, this won't work and I would suggest just having a rest. Thanks for sharing <3[/quote']
That's something I need to do more often! And when I do, I find myself dancing around the house and I'm like "where did THAT energy come from?!"


And your no-pressure approach is so great. You acknowledge that sometimes music doesn't work, and that's okay.


Can I ask, where do you get your music from? I have Spotify playlists, but I have this terrible rage against how often they play commercials. Usually when they come on, I mute my computer and then forget to unmute it. And until Spotify Premium is $10/month or lower, I'm not going to pay for it!