How do you handle grief?

[DDNatureLover]

Wow, thank you all so much for the responses. It's true, everyone grieves in his/her own way, and also true that we grieve for different situations, not simply for the loss of a loved one. I am still grieving the loss of my ability to work and support myself, as well as the loss of my health. Being in the throes of those situations seems to make everything else worse, since I often don't have the finances to do things I want and need to do, such as travel to his memorial. I found it very cathartic to read your posts, and I hope others also reply, so we can all benefit from this thread.

 

[juvidase]

Work. . . and a lot of it. I don't know how this works for others, and it is masking the pain as opposed to confronting it, but when my father died, work was the only thing I could do where I knew what was going on. It was a place of stability. After about ten days of just working myself to death [it seemed] I was able to really face the loss, have a good cry, and move forward.

 

[clair02]

I have a friend who just lost someone really close to her, and although I've never seen her drink before in her life, suddenly she seems to be drinking everyday now. I think it's her way of trying to block out the pain. I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but when she drinks she doesn't seem quite as sad as when she's sober, but I'm worried that she might be heading for a really serious breakdown by not dealing with her emotions and dulling them instead.

 

[T2R43]

I think that everyone handles grief differently. I've seen people start drinking, fighting with others or just withdrawing from it all. Personally, I handle grief in different ways and that generally comes from what type of situation is it? The death of someone you love or care for is the worst and that one was with my father. We weren't close, but I think I was sad over the things that we didn't get a chance to say and I thought about it a lot...those things that were never said. I think that people learn different ways to grief depending on the situation.

 

[x0xLikeMex0x]

In the past 2-3 years I lost my uncle and my grandpa to cancer. What helped me with grief was that I knew they wouldn't have wanted me to be sad or see me sad. Yeah, there were moments where I became so sad that I cried, but it's OK to cry. You shouldn't hold your feelings inside, let them out. You will feel a lot better.

 

[DDNatureLover]

It could be that your friend @Claire02 is just going through a phase, but I'd watch her carefully. Alcohol is a depressant, and using it to escape from her grief could backfire. Then again, it could help her to not manage it all at once. I'd be there for her, to listen, and maybe spend some time with her doing things that get her mind off of the situation, since she doesn't seem ready to handle the loss just yet.


I've been busy helping family through this loss and although I've somewhat dealt with it, there's still a lot of pain that's leaking out around the edges. I'm trying to take a little time each day to think about him and that's painful enough. I don't think I could immerse myself in the grief, or I feel I could just lose myself totally. Thankfully, there's plenty of other things to focus on that can distract me for now.

 

[VanM]

I find that writing about a personal loss helps in coping up with the feeling of grief. I also find just talking about my feelings with the closest of my family and friends tends to ease me up as well. When I was younger, I would just keep my feelings to myself and stay quiet. But as I grew older, I became more open to other people particularly family and close friends. It helps to have a support team I guess.

 

[LionTurtle]

I'm very sorry for your loss.


I've lost several family members and beloved pets in my lifetime. The first two days are the hardest, on the first day I always feel physically sick after crying so much.  And on the second day it's very crushing to wake up to the reality of your loss. I find that writing down what happened and how I feel is in a way comforting, 

 

[fuzyon]

I don't "handle" it, I accept the situation and how it affects my mind and body then I try to deal with it as best as possible. Feeling grief is normal when you lose someone but it will slowly pass away, you don't have to fight it otherwise it will only get worse for you.