How do you deal with dismissive doctors?

[Peacelily]

I recently switched providers because the provider I had would defer to labeling my symptoms as "anxiety" or "hypochondria." Like, the time I had bacterial bronchitis, which another urgent care doctor diagnosed me with and put me on antibiotics for, my doctor just labeled my symptoms as anxiety. He was wrong of course, and I wanted to confront him but never did.

He even made a joke about my anxiety during one of my last office visits with him. I've never been treated so dismissively by female doctors, as I have by this male doctor. Why do doctors act this way?

How do you deal with dismissive doctors? Do you confront them? Or just ignore their behavior and continue to see them when you get sick?

 

[JohnM]

I recently switched providers because the provider I had would defer to labeling my symptoms as "anxiety" or "hypochondria." Like, the time I had bacterial bronchitis, which another urgent care doctor diagnosed me with and put me on antibiotics for, my doctor just labeled my symptoms as anxiety. He was wrong of course, and I wanted to confront him but never did.

He even made a joke about my anxiety during one of my last office visits with him. I've never been treated so dismissively by female doctors, as I have by this male doctor. Why do doctors act this way?

How do you deal with dismissive doctors? Do you confront them? Or just ignore their behavior and continue to see them when you get sick?

I usually do what you did. I drop those mother*******. Doctors take an oath to heal, which includes psychological health. Your doctor was insulting his profession and the oath he took by casually dismissing your suffering and probably heightening your anguish. I confront them if I must, and drop them if it becomes intolerable.

 

[Kelculator]

Yep, the way I deal with them is to not deal with them at all. Some doctors just don't understand what mental diseases can do to a person. It is a matter of empathy. I think you deserve a doctor who doesn't make you feel embarrassed or crazy when you need help. As you have mentioned, some doctors are not like that, and I tend to just hop over to them, because anxiety alone is stressful enough.

 

[Peacelily]

Thanks JohnM and Kelculator for your posts. I don't feel so alone now about my decision to ditch my provider. My anxiety is through the roof tonight so I called my health plan urgent care line and the nurse asked me if I had contacted my provider and after I told her what his dismissive response was, she said, well then you should get a new provider. Um, duh!

Just because a person has anxiety, doesn't mean they deserve to be treated like a liar when they go to the doctor. I did make an appointment for next week, with a female doctor who happens to be on the medical board of my state for licensing doctors, on the medical board of my healthcare provider, AND who happens to be my douche bag provider's BOSS. Take that douche bag provider! Ha! She basically has more power than he does and her reputation proceeds her as one of the most professional, empathetic doctors in my city. So, I'm crossing my fingers that my visit with her next week will bring relief in the form of a diagnosis and prescription if necessary without all the bias and judgment.

I was going to schedule an appt with him, and asked his nurse to ask him if he would address my symptoms, his response was to say that it was good I didn't make an appt b/c accord. to him, it's just my anxiety causing symptoms, which is such b.s.

 

[janemariesayed]

Thanks JohnM and Kelculator for your posts. I don't feel so alone now about my decision to ditch my provider. My anxiety is through the roof tonight so I called my health plan urgent care line and the nurse asked me if I had contacted my provider and after I told her what his dismissive response was, she said, well then you should get a new provider. Um, duh!

Just because a person has anxiety, doesn't mean they deserve to be treated like a liar when they go to the doctor. I did make an appointment for next week, with a female doctor who happens to be on the medical board of my state for licensing doctors, on the medical board of my healthcare provider, AND who happens to be my douche bag provider's BOSS. Take that douche bag provider! Ha! She basically has more power than he does and her reputation proceeds her as one of the most professional, empathetic doctors in my city. So, I'm crossing my fingers that my visit with her next week will bring relief in the form of a diagnosis and prescription if necessary without all the bias and judgment.

I was going to schedule an appt with him, and asked his nurse to ask him if he would address my symptoms, his response was to say that it was good I didn't make an appt b/c accord. to him, it's just my anxiety causing symptoms, which is such b.s.

It is always a good start to change your doctor. You should have that right. Your doctor may be a dismissive character anyway and treat most of his patients that way. But, if you are not happy you are always entitled to a second opinion.

 

[Kelculator]

Thanks JohnM and Kelculator for your posts. I don't feel so alone now about my decision to ditch my provider. My anxiety is through the roof tonight so I called my health plan urgent care line and the nurse asked me if I had contacted my provider and after I told her what his dismissive response was, she said, well then you should get a new provider. Um, duh!

Just because a person has anxiety, doesn't mean they deserve to be treated like a liar when they go to the doctor. I did make an appointment for next week, with a female doctor who happens to be on the medical board of my state for licensing doctors, on the medical board of my healthcare provider, AND who happens to be my douche bag provider's BOSS. Take that douche bag provider! Ha! She basically has more power than he does and her reputation proceeds her as one of the most professional, empathetic doctors in my city. So, I'm crossing my fingers that my visit with her next week will bring relief in the form of a diagnosis and prescription if necessary without all the bias and judgment.

I was going to schedule an appt with him, and asked his nurse to ask him if he would address my symptoms, his response was to say that it was good I didn't make an appt b/c accord. to him, it's just my anxiety causing symptoms, which is such b.s.

Aww, good luck to you!

 

[Peacelily]

I am going to see a new provider today -- another male doctor so I'm skeptical that he'll be judgement-free. The female provider I was set to see, has more administrative duties than medical duties so she isn't in clinic more than a few times a week in the mornings, and is hard to schedule follow up visits with.

I did call a sleep clinic today to get an appointment with a sleep/pulmonary doctor about my nighttime anxiety, segmented sleep (could be the way my body sleeps naturally), and the negative associations I have with sleeping in my bed (lots of anxiety about sleeping in a bed, so I sleep on my couch).

I hope the male provider I see today for 40 minutes to go over my medical history isn't a jerk. If he is, I have to keep looking. I saw my endocrinologist who did an ultrasound of my thyroid but he was an ass, the way he acted; he said point-blank, "your thyroid is shriveled up but inflamed in my uneducated opinion, and I don't see an nodules." What an ass. So, I have to get a second opinion now b/c I still have that choking sensation which could be from my thyroid being inflamed (which will increase the size of the thyroid gland). And he should have offered to increase my thyroid med. to reduce the inflamation but didn't.

I generally mistrust male providers b/c I think they treat women with a lot of disrespect. I'm sure not all male providers are like that, but so far that's been my experience.

 

[Richard G]

I recently switched providers because the provider I had would defer to labeling my symptoms as "anxiety" or "hypochondria." Like, the time I had bacterial bronchitis, which another urgent care doctor diagnosed me with and put me on antibiotics for, my doctor just labeled my symptoms as anxiety. He was wrong of course, and I wanted to confront him but never did.

He even made a joke about my anxiety during one of my last office visits with him. I've never been treated so dismissively by female doctors, as I have by this male doctor. Why do doctors act this way?

How do you deal with dismissive doctors? Do you confront them? Or just ignore their behavior and continue to see them when you get sick?

I've been fortunate that my primary doctor is very understanding though he admits in his nearly 40 years of practice, he has never seen someone like myself with this much health anxiety. Unfortunately he is going to retire in a year...I told him not to use my real name when he writes his book!!! lol....when I do seek out another primary care md, I will be up front with them about my health anxiety and not go with someone who doesn't understand

 

[XmasCarol52]

I recently switched providers because the provider I had would defer to labeling my symptoms as "anxiety" or "hypochondria." Like, the time I had bacterial bronchitis, which another urgent care doctor diagnosed me with and put me on antibiotics for, my doctor just labeled my symptoms as anxiety. He was wrong of course, and I wanted to confront him but never did.

He even made a joke about my anxiety during one of my last office visits with him. I've never been treated so dismissively by female doctors, as I have by this male doctor. Why do doctors act this way?

How do you deal with dismissive doctors? Do you confront them? Or just ignore their behavior and continue to see them when you get sick?

Your doctor is am idiot.I hate doctors have been telling them for months now my depakote isnt working they know it is isnt yet they still tell me to take it to be honest i have had it with doctors the only reason I go so i get my meds

 

[Peacelily]

Carol I know how you feel. Doctors (most) just don't listen to their patients. They really don't listen well at all. Doctors just want to treat the symptoms, not the person, and that's not good doctoring in my opinion. I hope you can find another doctor too.

I met with my new doctor yesterday. He's a young Brazilian doctor who is a straight shooter but also listens empathetically. He seems very nice. Only time will tell if I made the right choice with him as my new provider. If he's the wrong choice, I"ll choose another provider then.

 

[Peacelily]

I've been fortunate that my primary doctor is very understanding though he admits in his nearly 40 years of practice, he has never seen someone like myself with this much health anxiety. Unfortunately he is going to retire in a year...I told him not to use my real name when he writes his book!!! lol....when I do seek out another primary care md, I will be up front with them about my health anxiety and not go with someone who doesn't understand

Oh man Richard what rotten luck that your doctor is retiring. I wish doctors would stop shaming us people who suffer with anxiety. There are biological causes to anxiety that they often are dismissive of, and would rather blame it as a mental condition which isn't really true when you could have a heart problem, or be anemic, or something biological that causes anxiety you know what I mean?

 

[Kelculator]

I do hope your doctor ends up being a good fit! It really is a struggle to find one when you've got health anxiety.

 

[Peacelily]

Thanks Kelculator. I hope he turns out to be a good fit for me as my new medical provider. I hate having anxiety but I know how I developed it (from my over-bearing, hysterical and over-critical mother). Years of therapy to combat my anxiety. Years of it...to no avail. People without anxiety who choke on food are quick to dismiss it after one night and not dwell on it.

But my anxiety has anchored that fear and is clinging to it, and every time I eat, I have a panic attack and I'm sleep deprived due to anxiety and ER visits. I see the ENT on Tuesday. I hope he will do a barium swallow or nose scope and tell me there is nothing still stuck in my throat. Only the ENT's observations will quell my over-anxious mind and stop my obsessing about choking every time I swallow my chewed food.

 

[Kelculator]

Thanks Kelculator. I hope he turns out to be a good fit for me as my new medical provider. I hate having anxiety but I know how I developed it (from my over-bearing, hysterical and over-critical mother). Years of therapy to combat my anxiety. Years of it...to no avail. People without anxiety who choke on food are quick to dismiss it after one night and not dwell on it.

But my anxiety has anchored that fear and is clinging to it, and every time I eat, I have a panic attack and I'm sleep deprived due to anxiety and ER visits. I see the ENT on Tuesday. I hope he will do a barium swallow or nose scope and tell me there is nothing still stuck in my throat. Only the ENT's observations will quell my over-anxious mind and stop my obsessing about choking every time I swallow my chewed food.

It's great to know you have found a good fit. Hopefully your ENT will help. I understand that feeling when you know you are being irrational but not being able to help it. And keep on conquering your relationship with anxiety-- I say relationship because anxiety is not something you can overcome, but you can certainly adapt to and live well with it. Good luck!

 

[Peacelily]

Yes, I'm acting totally irrational the way I obsess over every bite and swallow since choking two weeks ago. My mind is on overdrive. I feel like I'm watching myself ("disassociation" in psychiatric terms) act like this crazy woman who reduces her caloric intake because she's worried that she will choke and no one will miss her if that choking is fatal.

Ever since I learned that anxiety disorders have strong ties to asthma and allergies, I'm livid that the psychiatric community and general medical community haven't done anything to address this, other than in random published medical journal articles. Meanwhile, psychiatrists and doctors shame patients with anxiety disorder into becoming hooked on bentos and SSRIs as though taking medication will cure or treat their anxiety, when in fact all medication does is put the anxiety on pause, and adds unpleasant side effects that perpetuate the anxiety even more. Thus, creating a vicious cycle for the person with anxiety. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Since I will never be cured of my asthma and allergies, I've conceded that I will always suffer with anxiety. And I will do what I can to eliminate the horrible stigma society perpetuates towards people who suffer with anxiety, as if we are weaker or not as valuable contributors to society. Many celebrities suffer from bipolar disorder and anxiety, so you'd think that would help the cause to dispel shameful stigmas. But I don't think that it works that way.