How did you overcome death?

[Ami_98]

So it started couple weeks ago, in 1 week there are at least 2 or three nights where i stayed awake, when i close my eyes, the idea of "death" comes from nowhere, one time i even panicked when i dont really feel my own heartbeat, hands and feet are getting cold, it's not comfortable just to remember it. I always wonder when and why did this started. Whenever i see people, they're seems enjoying their lives like they don't care about death. I just wanted to know, are you guys even real? What's the point of living in your perspective? I'm not even sure if I'm afraid of the process of death itself, losing the current things I'm really into, or you know, the afterlife. I've seen philosophical videos, read journals about state of mind but i keep getting lost even further. Things, are just uncertain.

Am i sick? Should i seek professional help?

Good wishes for you

 

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. It is clear you have a fear of death. Phobia would be the word. You can get help for all kinds of phobias. Some can be easily overcome. Others can be that bit harder to overcome. Might depend on how far back the fear goes. A therapist would explore the fear with you. Why you are fearing death. What brought it on. Try and look for a way to make see you see death in a different way.

I know the news is full of nothing but death at the moment. So hard to escape hearing it on the news .Even if you ignore the news you might see it on social media.

I always say if we accept death as part of life we take away part of the fear of death. It happens to everybody. That much we can all accept. There is no escaping it. That does not mean we want to die any day soon. If we look at nature even, we see life and death. They go hand in hand. To me a person who fears death forgets to live. Just my own view on death. The longer I live the better. But it will happen some day. I am not going to sit here and just wait for it to happen.

Maybe explore what it is you are fearing exactly. Death itself. Or illness that will lead to death. The best reading for anything like this is Buddhism. Their whole view on death. Indians ( American, hate the term Native American ). Another race with a great outlook on death. Explore various cultures. Might help lift your fear. If that does not work, therapy might do the trick.

 

[bin_tenn]

As Cuch called out, learning and practicing acceptance is one key to overcoming anxiety, especially as it relates to death. I can't count the times I've gone to bed, only to suddenly become so intensely overwhelmed by fear of death that I end up staying awake far too late. This is not an uncommon fear.

Generally speaking, everyone "fears" death or otherwise finds it unpleasant to think about. However, folks without an anxiety disorder are able to push those thoughts aside with little to no effort. The problem isn't that you have these thoughts; the problem is that the thoughts take over.

Again, I know exactly how this feels. It can be very uncomfortable and scary, but learning to accept the inevitable is key. I still struggle with it once in a while, but overall I don't. I hope you can find relief soon.

 

[suzzeeb]

I think for me the only thing about death I really fear is the process - not knowing what that will be like. Other than that, like Cuchculan said, every single person will experience it. I am a Christian, so I have hope that I will be with the Lord after death. The Bible says, absent from the body, present with the Lord, so that gives me hope. I actually feel comforted thinking about being in heaven and not having to struggle in this life forever, but I think fearing death is very common and most people fear it to some degree. If it interferes with your daily life, though, I would definitely go talk to someone. You might feel better just venting about it.

 

[Cuchculan]

In the Western world, most people perceive time as a linear thing. Milestones are anticipated, passed, and once they are passed, they are finished. We are born, we live and we die. In that order. And once we die, we are gone. But not all cultures agree. Many Native American cultures perceive time as being circular, rather than linear. There are no definite beginnings or endings, only what is, what always has been, and what always will be.

What if death isn’t the end, but simply another milestone on the timeline of life? Rather than imagining life as a line, what if we imagined it as a spiral? Many Native American tribes do not see death as an absolute, but instead they see life as an infinite journey where death is not the end. Death is appreciated as a passage to the next world: the next step in life.

Although there are several hundred different Native American tribes, many of which have different beliefs, almost all tribes hold this perception of time as being circular. Many tribes believe in reincarnation, and that the soul is an eternal presence that moves from body to body without ever leaving the world. Others believe that when a loved one dies, their soul is transported to the next world where they join their ancestors who passed before them. This different perspective allows the Native American people to view death not with grief, but with acceptance and happiness. Moving from this world to the next is not something to be mourned, but rather it is something to be celebrated. Death is nothing more than a stepping stone to the next life.

Prior to beginning this final journey, the deceased's spirit typically travels to the places it has known on earth. This earthly journey may take up to four days, sometimes longer. If the spirit does not have a good journey, the soul may return as a ghost to haunt the living. Ghost stories are common in Native American folklore, although ghosts are not necessarily viewed as malicious.

 

[Ami_98]

What bothers me is the thought always come in time when I'm trying to sleep. The more i think about it, the more i afraid that this thought going to last for a long time. Reply from bin_tenn mentioned about accepting, but how exactly? I can only describe that my head is slowly getting heavier everytime i think about death. I have never tried meditation because i don't know the exact method to do so. Reading philosophy is making me more confused about which one that is truly "me". What should i do? Should i "keep busy" like everyone else's said? But again, time where im trying to sleep alone is where the thought comes.

I was born in a regular muslim family, we believe in heaven and hell, prior to that, there will be a trial for what we've done in life. And the trial goes from the first human to the last one ever existed, at least thats what I've been taught. The problem is, are we even ready? "Ready" doesn't even sounds right to explain my point. And to be judged by omnipotent being? Nothing sounds logical, but that what it is, some friends said about religion, they said "you don't have to understand, just have to believe". And I've talked to a christian friend, to an atheist friend, but the more i know, the more I'm afraid of both explanation of death.

And after thinking clearly, i have two possibilities of why this started. First one is the weight of responsibility, like graduating college, find a job, having family, then death. I mean is that it to life? I don't even think i can have a partner in my life. The second one is I'm too afraid to be alone, and I'm really really lost. It's more calming after i opened up like this, but most of the times its just too hard to find right person for me to open up. For this opportunity, i thank you for the replies

 

[Cuchculan]

You could try and distract you thinking. The night is the worst time to think. We are alone. It is dark. I like to have a radio on. Low sounding voice on the radio. It always puts me to sleep. You focus on the radio voice. Might help you out. Maybe even start a journal. Write out your thoughts and your fears. See do they make more sense when you have them in front of you on paper.

Life is what we make it. Yes we are expected to do certain things in life. But there are times in between that we are allowed to enjoy. Case of making some time for these other things in life. Put everything else to one side. Free up an hour or two. Just for you to do something you enjoy doing.

 

[suzzeeb]

It sounds like you are overwhelmed by life and maybe somewhat depressed. I really think if you found a good therapist you could start to get a different perspective and get your fears out and not have the fear of death be such a huge focus. It is worth a try.

 

[Izthewiz]

One thing to realize is that you have no control over when you will take your last breath.
But do you remember the week before you were born also?
Death It's outside your control, most people with Anxiety have control issues.
Let that go, understand you can't control anything but what's in your mind.
Think In your mind what is so scary about death.
I know there is a heaven and a God who loves all mankind and we will all punch that ticket, if I die big deal I am making the most of now not tomorrow.
Accept your day will come and when it does know that you have lived the best life possible.

 

[Ami_98]

Thank you for the kind and warm replies, i might try the suggestions. Now I remember when my late father always have radio on when he was asleep. And to mention, I am getting better since i posted this thread, thank you, it's not entirely gone, but I'm slowly accepting this situation. Though I'm still worried it'll come back way even worse then what it is right now and it'll affect my life. I have a bad habit where i always act like i knew everything. "oh something really bad is coming" and i always imagined things that might and might not happen, the response i should make if this or that happens. My mind always have "scenarios", a series of prediction which completely filled my head. The process of death and whats beyond, is the only scenario i can never get rid of until now.

Couple days ago this situation was affecting the way i decide, i always procrastinate on my final essay and upcoming presentation, everything is just getting worse while having this thoughts. What sounds bad just suddenly become worse. Even though I'm aware that I lack control and focus of my own mind and action, i know what to do first, which is my essay, i know what to focus, my college, but "whats the point? I'm gonna die anyway" always hold me back from life.

Again, thank you guys