How depressed are you today?

[It'sJaz]

The title says it, on a scale of 1-10.


I'd say 10 for myself because it's been a bad day and I can't imagine it getting any worse than it is.

 

[kgord]

I would say 2 or 3. It might have been 2 earlier, as I have been in a decent mood, looking forward to my trip this weekend..and the weather is cooling off a bit which makes my day happier than it has been. At least I don't feel trapped in the house. However, I found out my digital camera just broke...just out of the blue...so obviously, I am bummed about that. I don't have a decent phone camera so I am out of luck. My friend has several cameras so perhaps he will lend me one.

 

[Panic57]

I'm about a five. It's pressing in but it hasn't overwhelmed me yet. I'm trying to hurry and finish the majority of my work before I get to ten. Yesterday was hard though a definite eight but I keep dipping back and forth. I really think that the only reason I'm a five today is because I'm anxious about meeting my deadline. Though, if I lose to it, I'll be super depressed.

 

[Jemina]

I'm actually feeling okay today, so I'd say around a 2. I've been able to have a lot of little successes so I've probably gone from around a 4 earlier today down to a 2 now because of those little successes. I try to concentrate on all the little things that are good (although it can also make me focus on all the little things that are bad too sometimes.)

 

[sidney]

I'd say a 5, because I recall all those events that I've been betrayed and abused, and unfortunately those incidents are happening presently, so it makes me shed a few tears for a minute or two, then my thoughts get diverted again.

 

[solana]

The title says it, on a scale of 1-10.
I'd say 10 for myself because it's been a bad day and I can't imagine it getting any worse than it is.

Hi Jaz, it's been a 10 for me, too, until not so long ago. Unfortunately, that 10 lingered around like doomsday. I couldn't even get out of bed anymore. I just slept and slept and slept some more. I needed it. I would wake up drained, barely able to function, not to mention my work. It's been a hard year, and I felt the aftermath of it. I can't say that I suddenly jumped from 10 to 2 or 3, no, I'm still working on getting myself up again. But the intensity has somewhat decreased, since I realized that I had been suffering from mental and physical exhaustion for quite some time. The way I got through the worst was by just letting it, the depression, be. I didn't try to get rid of it, get on top of it, drug it, meditate on it, nothing. I just wanted to let it unfold the way it needed to unfold. And, my God, did I have dreadful days when nothing seemed to be able to shift that crippling emotional and mental pain. It wouldn't even shift half a centimeter. I walked around like a zombie. All I knew was that fighting it was only draining me more. So, I walked around with it and just watched it. I watched myself from moment to moment. I'd check every other hour or so, if it was getting a little lighter, but it just didn't want to budge. So, it went on for 3 or 4, maybe even 5 months. I can't remember anymore. In that time I came to many realizations about myself and my life. But I couldn't apply these newly gained insights in a practical way. I had to wait for the illness to get better, for that shift in my consciousness.


Then, one day, I woke up feeling lighter than usual. I started building on it. And I am building on it in this moment as I write this down, wanting to let you know, that it will get easier with time and effort. But the biggest effort lies in letting go of things.

 

[redpanda]

I had been doing really well but today is definitely at least a 7 . I'm in the middle of moving and we just had a major setback that's delaying everything. We're staying with my partner's mom (in her basement) and it's extremely stressful. We have a dog and she has four but not all of the dogs get along. So we're constantly having to shuffle them and my dog is super panicky. I work from home but am getting very little done here due to all the noise and stress. I'm also pretty sleep-deprived at this point since I'm averaging two hours a night. Everything is starting to catch up to me and I've been a depressed mess all day. I really hope things improve soon (and I hope you guys have better days tomorrow!).

 

[It'sJaz]

Hope you all feel better soon.


Today has been a 5 so far. It's only midday so I can't be sure nothing gets worse, but I've already messed some things up, skipped an event, and am not feeling well. Furthermore I am thinking of bad things that recently happened, so all in all, not too great.

 

[John Snort]

On a scale of 1-10, I'd say around 5. I've been depressed for a while and though the issues that depress me remain unresolved I don't think things will get worse nor do I think they'll get better any time soon which is why I'm neither too depressed nor free from depression altogether.

 

[Pijuy]

I'd say probably 9. I've kept it together but I feel like dirt. Last night I decided I need closure after my recent breakup. I've been avoiding having to confront my feelings about it because all I want to do is cry. I don't want to cry anymore and I don't want to talk to my ex about it. I don't think it really matters to him anymore. I'm angry, I'm disappointed, I'm really hurt and I feel despair. Like I'll never find anyone and that maybe I'm meant to be alone. Since the breakup, I've felt like I have pressure being applied on my chest and a permanent lump in my throat. I want that to stop.


I took out my journal and just started writing everything I thought and felt. The things that made me angry, the things I'd miss, the things that disappointed me, etc. I cried for about 2 hours straight. I couldn't sleep. I had to wake up early this morning and work and well, I ended up getting 4 hours sleep. My eyes were still swollen this morning. I got things done and by four I was burnt. I feel mentally and physically exhausted. I still don't feel close to done...

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I have been feeling quite of good lately, I just entered to college again and I'm fine as long as I keep myself busy. And I am really busy basically all the day and I'm actually interacting with people what are not my closest friends, I'm speaking more and I'm actually handling it pretty well, I have made people laugh quite often and that's pretty positive to me. So, I think that I'm fine as long as I don't think about it... I might say a 2 or maybe 3, I guess.

 

[thecorinthian]

Well, I've managed to still go on the computer so I'll say 5. A 9 would be just laying in bed and feeling numb while 10 will be suicide for me. Overall 5 is a good number I think because I'm still able to eat and function but I have a terrible look on my face right now and maybe a little anxiety. No one knows I'm depressed at work they just think I haven't had my coffee yet, I'm not hiding anything but for anyone to know you're depressed you just have to tell them.

 

[rootle]

About an 8 today I would say. I just got back to college yesterday and so it's been brought about by that. Today morning when I woke up, after having a nightmare featuring my roommate, and felt about a 9 or 10. Really just wanted to instantly die. A fun things happened over the course of the day though, now I'm in a state where I know I just need to wait a few years and move onto another phase of life. It feels terrible knowing that I've wasted years of my life in such a situation.

 

[d.moore11100]

My rating is a 10 for today. I recently got rejected by the person i have been in love with for years and all I got was an "I'm not interested". Until today, I have been avoiding them because I know that I simply can't be in their presence without being extremely depressed and full of self hate. But today I ran into them on accident and panicked and literally ran from the situation. This makes me hate myself so much because I can't even look at them without panicking and it's so embarrassing to me when everyone knows exactly what's going on. She is the center of my world and yet she hasn't even tried to comfort me or even talk to me at all. I just feel so unimportant, and stupid, and worthless, and I'm still dealing with the heartbreak itself. Today just isn't my day at all!

 

[HappyKoi]

I'm pretty good, about a three today. There have been a few rough spots, but nothing has really tripped me up today. Of course, I still have to get through the afternoon and evening, so anything can happen.


It'sJaz and all the other 10s: please make sure you stay safe today. If things get really bad and you're thinking of hurting yourself, please reach out to a friend, your therapist, the Suicide Hotline (they even have a chat option), someone who can help, or come here to talk about it. You won't be a 10 forever, and, speaking for myself and probably all of us, we would like to have you around.

 

[Casm1ra]

Considering I have energy to do small tasks and speak to people, I'd say I'm a four out of ten. The past two weeks have been very difficult for me as I've been trying to figure my life out after getting kicked out of my parents place with no real tools to survive on my own (no license, no car, no college, no job), so that's been sort of weighing me down. In addition, I'm concerned how it will impact the relationship I have with my boyfriend, which is long-distance and I love him dearly. Three out of five people keep telling me to join the military, but I'm extremely against it... that can't be the only option, right? Anyways, I digress. Pardon my rant. Overall, I'd say I'm handling it well since today I decided to quit being a Negative Nancy and focus on what can be done with optimism.


I'm concerned for the people who answered 10 out of 10 and I suggest reaching out to someone. Even the suicide hotline is helpful, I called them myself last week and I was surprised at how well the person on the other line listened. They don't judge or give advice. The most they do is ask a question every now and then to prompt a further understanding.

 

[hades_leae]

I will say about a 5 for me. I have a lot of financial problems going on in my life right now, and I really need to fix the,. I think about them day and night, but I try to not be super depressed about it. I make sure I still get out even if I'm just going to walk in the park, or maybe spend $2 dollars at the dollar movie which I can still afford to do.


I don't want to say I'm depressed about these things but I would be contradicting myself a lot. I have been thinking about what I will be going threw when I start looking for work again, these businesses are so misleading and I don't want to deal with application anymore.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

On a scale of ten, I would rate myself as somewhere around a four today. I am really depressed but I am not in totally high spirits either. The reason is that I have just got a new bank account. Somehow the computer at the bank insists on only using one of my names. I have a double name connected with an '@'. The problem is that my Paypal account is verified with my full name complete with the '@'. Now I wonder if I can withdraw money from my Paypal account to my bank account. Paypal says the money should be in my bank account in three days' time. Until then, I am somewhat depressed. Therefore the four rating.

 

[CeliVega]

I give myself a 5. I made a promise with myself not long ago that I would quit an addiction of mine. It is not illegal, I assure you all, and it affects my life a lot because it consumes a lot of my time. By the time I am finished with it, I am no longer motivated to do something productive. And I just broke my vow and do it for three times today. I am disappointed with how weak-willed I am. But today I realized that I can't keep feeling bad and I must move on instead of brooding and feeling bad all day. Back then I can spend the whole day feeling down and not doing a thing. So there's still something good worth celebrating because I bounced back in a shorter time. Yay for me I guess


But something good happened today, which make me slightly less depressed. A health issue that bother me for a while have show signs of improvement!

 

[Surrender]

Well I do feel pretty sad today. Like a 10/10 sad. Like my life is falling apart sad. Like wtf can I do to ever do to fix this sad. But I have to keep moving forward the best I can.