How can I stop worrying about the past?

[Nazgulish]

For most of my life, I've been afraid to do anything, and I believe it's stopped me from fully maturing. What I couldn't do is on my mind most of the day, and I haven't found any techniques that really work to stop it. There is so much regret and shame that I can barely focus on anything important anymore. I've tried meditation, journaling, trying to distract myself, and different grounding techniques. They work for maybe a week or two before becoming completely useless. I cannot afford therapy at the moment, so is there a way can I overcome this without spending too much?

 

[PieFan]

Have you ever talked with a trained compassionate therapist @Nazgulish ?

'Regret and shame' are negative emotions which happen when we don't be self-caring and when we don't see our mistakes as life lessons.

Affording any treatment is difficult if you are in the US (I've going on about creating national health care for over 20 years now, nobody ever listens, and I've been dismayed to see my friends in other countries with integrated health care advocating for-profit medicine instead. Don't do it! Everyone needs help sometimes!)

Accessing low cost or free healthcare is different in different states, but here in Texas, probably the least careful state about such things, some of the churches offer counselling support (the Catholic Church does) and there are different charity organizations who do too. After the Harvey severe flooding here I myself saw someone for 3 sessions which were funded by something to do with the flooding state of emergency; it was 2 counselors who were so good at their job I did not need more time with them, they were using a 2-person counseling technique which worked way better than I thought it would, when they first said I would be meeting 2 people I was a bit intimidated to be honest. But some of the church counselors do that too to protect both client and counselor.

The Nazgul....why on earth would you identify with fictitious disembodied power, eternal servants of darkness? Could that be a part of your dilemma?

Remember- 'there are better songs to sing.'

 

[Nazgulish]

Have you ever talked with a trained compassionate therapist @Nazgulish ?

'Regret and shame' are negative emotions which happen when we don't be self-caring and when we don't see our mistakes as life lessons.

Affording any treatment is difficult if you are in the US (I've going on about creating national health care for over 20 years now, nobody ever listens, and I've been dismayed to see my friends in other countries with integrated health care advocating for-profit medicine instead. Don't do it! Everyone needs help sometimes!)

Accessing low cost or free healthcare is different in different states, but here in Texas, probably the least careful state about such things, some of the churches offer counselling support (the Catholic Church does) and there are different charity organizations who do too. After the Harvey severe flooding here I myself saw someone for 3 sessions which were funded by something to do with the flooding state of emergency; it was 2 counselors who were so good at their job I did not need more time with them, they were using a 2-person counseling technique which worked way better than I thought it would, when they first said I would be meeting 2 people I was a bit intimidated to be honest. But some of the church counselors do that too to protect both client and counselor.

The Nazgul....why on earth would you identify with fictitious disembodied power, eternal servants of darkness? Could that be a part of your dilemma?

Remember- 'there are better songs to sing.'

I've never spoken to a counselor without being too afraid to actually speak about what was bothering me. It's like I'd freeze out of fear of how they might judge me before I could bring it up. This is actually the first time I'm opening up about anything real like this.

Self-care has always been a tough subject for me. I see my mistakes as lessons, but I can't shake the feeling I should have known better even if I know it was impossible for me to know. It's an odd dilemma.

I didn't know that about churches, I'll look into it when I can. I'll probably put some notes together so I don't freeze again.

As for the Nazgul name and pfp, it is likely a part of my problem. I've done this with a lot of usernames where it's just something terrible. I can't even think of my real name without immediately associating it with being put down. I've always felt like an eternal servant of darkness one way or another. I'll think about how to view myself better.

Thank you for your compassionate reply and sharing your experience, I appreciate it.

 

[PieFan]

. I'll probably put some notes together so I don't freeze again.

I always have to or I forget why I'm there!

My current general practice office hires medical students and they are not yet good at putting me at ease, I asked the NP to prescribe me low dose propranolol again so I can slow my heart rate and not have a panic attack.

I'll think about how to view myself better.

I like that!

 

[Jonathan123]

This eternal problem of health care for profit comes up time and again, especially relating to anxiety. In the UK our NHS (National Heath Service)' is second to none because everything is free and at the point of need. Having said that it is not free entirely because a deduction is made from people wages, but only those above a certain income.
Anyone over 65 can get treatment for free including major operations and long hospital stays. Of course, with such a huge organisation it has it's faults, but by and large works well. There is only one ambulance service run by the various counties, but all under the NHS. The USA is the richest country in the world but can't provide free health care for its people. It's capitalism gone crazy. Tell me to mind my own business, but how can I when this problem crops up on this site time and again? We do have a private health system here but it is a very expensive undertaking and is only for those with enough money to use it.

 

[Nazgulish]

This eternal problem of health care for profit comes up time and again, especially relating to anxiety. In the UK our NHS (National Heath Service)' is second to none because everything is free and at the point of need. Having said that it is not free entirely because a deduction is made from people wages, but only those above a certain income.
Anyone over 65 can get treatment for free including major operations and long hospital stays. Of course, with such a huge organisation it has it's faults, but by and large works well. There is only one ambulance service run by the various counties, but all under the NHS. The USA is the richest country in the world but can't provide free health care for its people. It's capitalism gone crazy. Tell me to mind my own business, but how can I when this problem crops up on this site time and again? We do have a private health system here but it is a very expensive undertaking and is only for those with enough money to use it.

You guys are very lucky. I hope we can catch up with everyone with affordable healthcare, but sadly, that probably won't happen anytime soon due to greed/some people looking at it as "unAmerican". I hope I'm wrong though.

 

[david1979]

Welcome.

I would advise against using Catholic Charities for counseling.. I attempted to use them once for couples counseling and it was a disaster. Therapist was an extremely judgemental moralist who couldn't have cared less about our issues.

There are a number of new, highly rated services in the US such as cerebral.com and brightside.com which provide affordable access to psychiatrists for $95/month. No insurance required.

You can also ask your normal family doctor for guidance and medication if needed.

Tell me to mind my own business

Years I ago I might have done just that. But having worked closely with the insurance industry in the US for the past 15 years, I know, and even those on the inside know, that the system is broken and needs overhaul. The "how" is the point of contention.

 

[PieFan]

I would advise against using Catholic Charities for counseling.. I attempted to use them once for couples counseling and it was a disaster. Therapist was an extremely judgemental moralist who couldn't have cared less about our issues.

We've all had negative experiences with one particular counselor just like with doctors or any other kind of professional though...just move on @Nazgulish if you don't like someone.

There are sliding scale counselling places too, and sometimes federal or local funding becomes available for a time, such as after a natural disaster or major emergency.

The USA is the richest country in the world but can't provide free health care for its people. It's capitalism gone crazy.

Yup.
Someone wrote a book about it, https://time.com/198/bitter-pill-why-medical-bills-are-killing-us/ and he said there are just too many people making too much money to motivate change. Before the PPACA reforms in 2010 it was even worse, at least policies have to have preventive care and minimum standards now, and there are no 'lifetime limits'. But the ridiculous pricing is just as bad and no one has been able to rein in the pharmaceutical companies they just change formulas when a law gets enacted to help someone, say diabetics and insulin, that was a Biden election pledge and he did it but not every type of insulin is covered. And the diabetic test strips and pens, for example, can be expensive. Basically nothing's comprehensive!

 

[david1979]

Even though I have tended more conservative for the past 10 years, I have always been a proponent of health care reform in the US. I have a lot of empathy for people with mental health problems as I have them myself. I have much empathy for those who are homeless with mental health problems. These people would love to have some assistance, but there is nowhere for them to go; shall they just die?

Only we can decide.

 

[PieFan]

I have much empathy for those who are homeless with mental health problems. These people would love to have some assistance, but there is nowhere for them to go; shall they just die?

Only we can decide.

Texas has had some fabulous projects for assisting the homeless such as https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/14/headway/houston-homeless-people.html Basically someone is given a home or shelter or city funding at the point of crisis so that their whole life does not spin out of control.

'During the last decade, Houston, the nation’s fourth most populous city, has moved more than 25,000 homeless people directly into apartments and houses. The overwhelming majority of them have remained housed after two years. The number of people deemed homeless in the Houston region has been cut by 63 percent since 2011, according to the latest numbers from local officials. Even judging by the more modest metrics registered in a 2020 federal report, Houston did more than twice as well as the rest of the country at reducing homelessness over the previous decade.'

'One in every 14 Americans experiences homelessness at some point, a population that is disproportionately Black. Eradicating homelessness would involve tackling systemic racism, reconstituting the nation’s mental health, family support and substance abuse systems, raising wages, expanding the federal housing voucher program and building millions more subsidized homes.

The goal in Houston and among other cities attacking the problem is different: to make homelessness only “rare and brief,” to cite Rosanne Haggerty, the housing advocate.Five states — California, New York, Florida, Washington and Texas — now account for 57 percent of the people experiencing homelessness.' [in the US]

We have such a large worker shortage in the US now it is beneficial for the society as a whole to fund people's aid before they are in crisis, but there's still a huge misperception of many things here, fueled by conservative media sources and extreme capitalist vested interests and simple prejudice.

A little help goes a long way...if it's in time to prevent a crisis situation.