HOPE!

[Jonathan123]

"I was walking across a field on a Path though ripening wheat. A lovely soft warm breeze was moving the wheat and all seemed well. I don't know why to this day, but ahead of me I could see the Path led into a dark wood and I walked on because it was drawing me in. As I entered I felt a sense of foreboding. There was little light except for openings in the trees above. It got darker and darker and I was on the verge of panic because I realized I was lost. I looked back but there was no light there, and the lovely field had gone.
A feeling of loneliness swept over me, and I was sure everything good had deserted me and I was truly on my own. I sat down on a fallen tree trunk and wept. I was in such a state that I began to think there would never be any release from this torture.
In the bushes ahead of me I heard a rustling sound then a fox came out. His beautiful golden brown coat and tail shone in the dark. He stood and looked round, then set his eyes on me. We looked at each other for a while, then he turned and began to walk away along the Path ahead. I was thinking he may know his way out, so I got up and followed. For some time the darkness remained, and I was beginning to despair when, far ahead, I saw some light. Very faint but it was there. So he did know his way out! My spirits lifted a little. But was this another of those false hopes I had experienced before?
But the light did get brighter. As I walked on I realized I was coming out of the dark wood. Oh God, what a relief. The sky was so blue and the field was covered in Spring flowers. I turned and looked for the fox. He was sitting some way away from me. 'What is your name fox' I asked. ' My name is HOPE' he said, and scuttled off into the undergrowth. I walked on down the Path. After the dark wood it was so good to be free again and out in the open. Following the fox had restored my faith in myself."

This story I posted in my previous website.

 

[Doug97]

Very nice! Did you write that?

 

[Jonathan123]

Yes Doug I did.

 

[Phillies Phan]

Am I the only one who finds the most amazing part of that story is that the fox spoke?

 

[Doug97]

It reads kinda like a dream.

 

[MATD]

Your story is very encouraging and insightful, thank you for posting it.

 

[Jonathan123]

Am I the only one who finds the most amazing part of that story is that the fox spoke?

Hope will speak to all of us if we let it. It's like the air we breathe, always there but unrealized. Without it we are truly lost. The old saying comes to mind. 'Hope lies eternal in the human breast'. None of us will always be as we are. Given the will and with encouragement we can be well again. Not our 'old self' that so many want. Oh no! It was the 'old self' that landed us in anxiety. It's a 'new self', a more tolerant and understanding self.

 

[MATD]

Jonathan, you are correct, the old self got us in the fix we are in. I can see the need for a new me. The old me wasn’t working. Everyone needs to understand this or recovery will not happen. Along my journey, I have had fear of feeling “different”, and fear when I did feel different, and resorted to “running” back to the old me. But after I realized the old me was filled with negativity, I knew I had to adapt to the idea of a new me. It isn’t easy and a step forward in faith is necessary to let go of the old me. But it is so worth it. It’s the me I wish I could have been all along. But! Had I not had the experience I’ve been going thru, I may not have recognized all that I have experienced has given me a better insight to myself and life in general.

 

[Jonathan123]

Absolutely! If only we can regard our anxiety experience as a teaching one. It is saying something to us about our life. It may seem odd for me to say that the two years I spent in anxiety gave me a good kick up the pants. I began to realize my attitude to life was all wrong. Selfishness, arrogance and a know all attitude had to go. Compassion. tolerance and understanding had to enter the picture. No one is ever perfect, well maybe a Saint or two may have been, but even they had their hangups!

 

[MATD]

Yes, having anxiety has shown me a lot about myself too. Learning how to love myself is at the top of my agenda. It appears to be the key to being more compassionate and tolerant. If we can’t be that way with ourselves, it’s hard to be that way with others.

 

[Jonathan123]

As Christ said, 'Love thy neighbour as thyself'. The key part of that being 'Love thyself'. You are so right. So many in anxiety dislike themselves and feel guilty about the state they are in. It's not their fault, but they think it is. That they are 'weak' in some way. 'Strong people don't get anxiety!. OH NO?? This is one of the big problems with men. Women will openly admit to anxiety, us guys find it difficult. 'Its unmanly'. Is it? Men don't cry! Don't they? I have shed buckets in my time as an adult when I was in the pits. For God's sake, we are all human and admission to having anxiety is a strength not a weakness.