High School Reunion

[Sue]

This coming weekend I am going to my high school reunion. Well I want to go to my high school reunion but the thought of going is already stressing me out. I would love to see my friends that I haven't seen in years. We keep in contact on Facebook but the thought of meeting them face to face bothers me. I am scared I won't look good or they will think I am a failure because I am not as successful as some of them are. Just the thought of trying to carry on a conversation with people causes anxiety. I am not much of a talker and I can't carry on a conversation. If they do most of the talking I am fine. If I had a few drinks I could relax and talk but I don't want to drink around people I haven't seen in years. They are all looking forward to it and I keep getting messages from them telling me how they can't wait to see me. I told them I would go and now I am trying to find excuses to get out of it even though I would really like to go. It will be a good time and once I am there I will probably be okay but it is just to make myself show up. I was suppose to go with a friend but she decide to go.

 

[pwarbi]

High school reunions are notoriously difficult at the best of times and I've been invited to a few over the years but only ever managed to attend one. There is a lot to think about, and I tended to worry myself that much that in the end I didn't go, even though I knew I was probably worrying for nothing. The one that I did attend I had tremendous anxiety at the beginning but after the first few minutes it was actually quite nice to see people again that I hadn't seen for years.


I wouldn't say that I'd like to go to another one, haha...but if you haven't been to one then it's certainly something worth doing, but at the same time it's not that good that it's worrying yourself sick about. People don't tend to change all that much in my experience, and the people that you didn't like then, you on't like now. That was my experience anyway, so it's definitely something not worth worrying about when it comes to ho successful or not they have been compared to you.

 

[fuzyon]

I ended up declining the invitation to my high school a year ago simply because I didn't feel like going. I know that the majority of people are scared of going to those reunions simply because they're not in a good place in life and they don't want to seem lesser than their ex-classmates, but that's not an issue for me because I have a good paying job, I'm in shape and I recently just bought a house. I felt like going to that reunion wouldn't help me in anyway.

 

[kgord]

As for me personally, I could care less what the people I went to high school with think about me anyway. I am no longer in touch with any of them, and don't live in the same city. The only reason I would go is simply curiosity to see what people are up to, and what they look like now. I have been out of high school a long time. I once went to the 15 year reunion, but I haven't been to any since then. Maybe when I am more satisfied with my life, I will go.

 

[justsayyes]

I hope whatever it is you decide, if you go or not, you will be happy with your decision. I had a really rough high school so it's safe to say I've refused to attend high school reunions. After high school, i cut off all of the few friends i made, not abruptly but gradually we lost touch, but we have a facebook page in our class, that's were they post reunion announcements and such things. There's only been one major high school reunion since i graduated high school and i didn't go, and i really don't regret my decision.

 

[sidney]

I think it's generally a fun social event, only if you aren't insecure or you have managed to become successful in life. People will judge you based on your accomplishments, whether you like it or not, so if you're not comfortable letting people know how you've been doing, then don't stress yourself out even more by going. The fact that you are even hesitant to go is a sign already, since if you are really sure of going then you wouldn't even hesitate. Besides, you can always see them on Facebook, so no need to see them in person.

 

[Robilas]

I don't really had a good relationship with my high-scool classmates so I would never go to a high-school reunion, but I understand that seeing again all your friends can be a fun and nice experience, since they are already messagging you about how they can't wait to see you.


However feeling a little anxious about that is common: usually there is a little of "friendly competition" between old class mates to be the most successful in the class, but if you don't really care it shouldn't be a problem. But I agree, probably drinking there is not a good idea, so just relax, talk with your friends and have a blast!

 

[ReadmeByAmy]

Attending a high school reunion is one thing that I do not attend in the past and no intention of going even in the future. I don't know why I am like this and I am always ashamed to them because they even locate my address one time and surprised me visiting at home just to make sure I will be included in the list of attendees. But even though I sent them excuses afterwards that I cannot attend and things like that. I had a lot of high school friends whom I had contact in Facebook and we communicate there. It is not that I am anxious to see them it just happened that I am really not fond of attending a party of gathering.

 

[John Snort]

@Sue, the way to get yourself to stop worrying is by reminding yourself that you have no obligation to go to your high school reunion. And when the day comes and you feel too anxious you don't have to go. However this would only reinforce avoidance as a response to unpleasant things you have to do. So the best thing to do is to at least make an appearance and leave as fast as you can.

 

[joshposh]

My high school reunion came and went, and I didn't go to it at all. The last thing I need is a bunch of over critical classmates judging me and I'm completely over it. I just don't bother with it and I won't miss it. My childhood wasn't the best. The one thing I've learned is to surround yourself with the right people. Unfortunately, most of the negative people are my classmates. Hell, they didn't even invite me to their weddings. So I know where I stand in their eyes. Why should I give a damn?

 

[Sue]

Thank you everybody for your input. I will be travelling to my hometown this weekend to visit family so I will see how I feel about it once I get there. I am not making any commitment at this time. If I decide to go it will be to make an appearance and to see the few people that I have been really close to over the years. I still have mixed feelings about it. My high school experience was a good one. I always did well and had a lot of friends but sometimes I don't feel that I have been as successful as people thought I would be. Career wise I haven't done too badly but I went through a divorce after a lot of years in an abusive marriage and pretty much had to start over so I don't own a lot. I live in an apartment with a beater of a car but it gets me where I'm going. I have come a long way since my marriage ended but I am just not in the place where a lot of my classmates are at this stage in their life. Self confidence has always been an issue for me but even more so after the abuse. I am slowly getting there but its a long hard road. Not at all what I had my life planned out to be.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I can deeply relate to this, you just basically describe how I feel when I go and hang out with my high school friends... And saying this in a completely subjective way, if I was you, I would go. You can really have a good time with them, even if you are not the most comfortable person on the place, at the end of the day I'm pretty sure that you would find a way to handle all of that. But at the end of the day is all up to you, and make what you think that it would be better for you.


Good luck!

 

[hades_leae]

To me, high school reunions are like Halloween in a way because I get to choose what character I want to go as. Assuming the average person goes as themselves, I'd do something different. It's a reunion, I don't care. I'll pretend I'm a hobo, but secretly I'm a millionaire, and the people will see my Lamborghini sitting in the parking lot haha. I'd probably go in a nice suit and tell people I work for the secret service, to hell with it. It sounds so much fun to me, and I don't see why stress about it.


It's just another day buddy, enjoy life.

 

[Sue]

To me, high school reunions are like Halloween in a way because I get to choose what character I want to go as. Assuming the average person goes as themselves, I'd do something different. It's a reunion, I don't care. I'll pretend I'm a hobo, but secretly I'm a millionaire, and the people will see my Lamborghini sitting in the parking lot haha. I'd probably go in a nice suit and tell people I work for the secret service, to hell with it. It sounds so much fun to me, and I don't see why stress about it.
It's just another day buddy, enjoy life.

lol I really like your attitude and your outlook on life. What a wonderful way to be. I would love to be like this! Thanks for your reply. It really made me smile!

 

[Sue]

I am headed out in the morning to drive to my hometown for the reunion. It is a five hour drive. I talked to a few people online who are going so I am looking forward to meeting up with them. I am hoping I can meet a few of them ahead of time so I won't feel so anxious about walking into the venue alone. I would feel better if I went there with somebody else. I will be sure to let you all know how it went when I get back home.

 

[foolsgold]

I think in social situations like this it's always good to have a safety net. Have a friend come along with you (which you're already doing based on my understanding) so whenever something is too overwhelming for you, or you're too anxious to talk to anyone, you'll have your friend there with you. Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself because of how you look or what you've achieved. I think if you've all stayed in touch on Facebook anyway, they have pretty much an expectation already of what you look like and all that.

 

[kelden]

Well, if you don't feel like going, then I suggest to don't go. Better absence than endure an embarrassing situation caused by a nervous breakdown. Also, probably will lower your self esteem to be witness of other's successes and make you rethink what you're actually doing. Go to a reunion when you feel prepared, it is not a "now or never" circumstance. Take it easy.

 

[willpowers9999]

I get very nervous during reunions, mostly social anxiety. I get nervous during reunions about how I will look. I also get socially nervous when I don't see people for a long time. Seeing them all of a sudden, out of the blue, after many years feels strange and awkward. I don't know how to explain it, but I completely understand what you're saying.

 

[Sue]

Well I ended up going and I had a good time. Right up to the last minute I was trying to think of a way to get out of it. I was the second one there so there was only one other woman there when I got there and she is a good friend so I just sat down beside her. As the others come in they would come over and talk. She did most of the talking. I only stayed an hour and a half and then I left. I did feel a little out of place but it wasn't near as bad as I had thought it would be. I am glad it is over though so I can stop stressing about it.

 

[amy88]

I didn't actually go to my high school reunion so I don't know that I'll be much help in answering - but the people I wanted to keep in contact with from school I've done that with. I had zero desire to go and socialize with a bunch of people that weren't all that nice to me! I know maybe that sounds petty but it is what it is...I just didn't feel the need to go. That's not my social anxiety talking but just the fact that I didn't feel the need to go back in time and deal with those people all over again!