hi

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by rozalinda, Sep 8, 2017.

  1. rozalinda

    rozalinda New Member

    hi everyone , i don't really know how should i start talking . i suffered from anxiety since grade 6 but i didn't figure that out because it wasn't that bad then when i grew up i fell in a depression i was crying everyday thinking about killing myself using a knife , throwing myself from the balcony or even drinking detergents and i actually tried to kill myself by suffocation the only think that kept me alive is that i am Muslim and it's not allowed to kill yourself or you will be sent to hell directly as a punishment ...etc. whatever , i also had low self-esteem i hated myself more and more because since i was child people used to make fun of me because i am black and because the way i talk and the mole in my face . when i reached grade 9 for no reason i got better i started to like myself more and i become more optimistic and i thought that everything was going to be okay .unfortunately when i went to grade 11 my anxiety become worst . in the past it used to be only about being afraid of talking in public , or talking to stranger, or losing your voice while talking to other , but know i reached to the point where i don't want to go outside to meet people i always cancel my plans of going outside , and i still remember that day when my dad was busy and i needed to go with my mother to look for a taxi , just thinking that i need to walk down the street scared me . i was almost fainting i was shaking so hard and i fell to the ground crying my mum was shocked and took me to the bed and get some rest . of course none of my family knew about my situation and whenever my friends ask me out specially if it was for a mall or a crowded place i always refuse and if i couldn't bring any excuses and i went there i always feel like i am going to puke so my dad always accompany me until i meet my friends . i become stressed my hand keep shaking and i can't eat or talk or act normally until i go back home and that started to affect my stomach and started to suffer from nervous stomach . i just can't feel safe and i don't dare talking about that to anyone even my family i just can't trust anybody so i thought about joining to a community were i can talk freely not being scared that someone would know me so can you please help me and i almost forgot i can't go to a therapist because my dad don't believe on them and as i said before i can't tell him what i am suffering from so i really need your help
    and thank you in advance
     
  2. Concernedgal

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

    HI there welcome. No one can really grasp what it feal like to suffer this way unless you k ow how it feels... you can't understand. And you stsrted just fine. You told your story and that's all you can say .. you k ow? Anyways.. you can talk to us anytime about anything. And I mean anyhting.
     
  3. _Lukas

    _Lukas Member

    Welcome :) Asking for help is the first step and you've come to the right place :)
     
    Concernedgal likes this.
  4. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Active Member

    Hi and welcome we are all family here so do not be afraid to express yourself ever.I think I was born with anxieties I can remember since I was about five I was also nervous and anxious.I was always made fun of in school I wasn't pretty enough.Or smart enough for that matter.In any case I hope to hear from u again.WIth a big hug.I dont see why or what a persons looks like should make a difference it should be inside that counts but unfortunately the world seem to think we have to look perfect like a Barbie doll.
     
    Concernedgal likes this.
  5. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    Hello there @rozalinda it's lovely to meet you and a very warm welcome to this little community. You have found the perfect place to come and talk where you can relax. I myself have found this forum to be really helpful and everyone is so friendly and supportive.

    I am so sorry for how you are suffering. You don't say how old you are but it seems obvious that you still live under your father's roof and therefore under his rules. It is really important that you get therapy as that is what will help you in the long term. Is there anyone that you can talk to at school like a teacher or can you talk to your mum? Is it possible that you and your mum could go to see your doctor together and ask for therapy? If your doctor sent you for therapy then maybe your dad would go along with it then. I am sure that your dad would rather you stay alive and get therapy than take the other route.

    Don't worry about the colour of your skin. White people go all out to get darker skin sitting in the sun every possible moment that we can. If you really don't like the colour of your skin there are creams that will lighten your skin over time and you could purchase one of them. As for your mole on your face, it is a beauty spot. Not everyone is lucky enough to have one but when I was growing up, I remember the famous woman singer, Lynsey DePaul who had a huge one just above her mouth and it was said it was a beauty spot. It is a mark that God has put on your face that says you are beautiful. And I bet you are!

    Getting therapy may prove a challenge for you because of your dad, but go for it and try. The worse thing in a situation like this is not being able to talk about how you feel. So I'm sending you hugs and holding your hand as you think about who you can approach to visit the doctor about this. He will be able to give you medication that will probably help you.

    I'm suffering similar to you and I'm on Prozac and getting therapy. It is giving me hope for the future and keeping me in the life. Please do keep in touch on here and let us know how you are.
     
  6. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Active Member

    Hi I was just wondering how you are doing?
     
  7. rozalinda

    rozalinda New Member

    I am doing well actually I couldn't go yet to a therapist but my sister is planning to go to one and she offered to go with her when I go to Sudan she know a great therapist there.
    Moreover I started the college and also late and passed the placement test so I don't have any of my school friends but luckily I met there a really nice miss she noticed that I am new, she talked to me and when she knew that I don't have friends she joined me to our Tedx college team and now I am feeling better than before. Thank you so much for your consern
     
  8. rozalinda

    rozalinda New Member

    Thank you for worrying about me, i am 18 years old, and for my appearance issue thanks God I already overcome it last year weather it was my curly hair or my dark skin or even the mole I started to like them all and now whenever I see my self in the mirror I just say " you are really beautiful, people are just blind and stupid that they can't see this beauty" and I go out with my head up and a smile on my face even if i was faking it I unconsciously started to believe it
     
  9. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Active Member

    JUst wanted you to know that I am thinking about you all of you for that matter,and wondering how you are doing? With me it is my allergies nonstop everyone seems to be having allergy problems and sometimes it makes me very anxious.Especially if it effects your throat you feel like you cannot breathe it can be very scary,In any case i do hope you are alright.God bless your friend ,Carol
     
  10. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    That is just the thing to do. To go out and hold your head up high. The beauty within us comes out through that smile, so make sure you use it as much as you remember to.

    We are all beautiful. We are amazing human beings.
     
    XmasCarol52 likes this.
  11. _Lukas

    _Lukas Member

    Hi Carol, thank you, I've just been extremely busy lately with wedding plans and school and work, and planning a Halloween party. I'm doing okay, just overwhelmed. I hope you're feeling better and I hope your allergies aren't giving you as much trouble. I hope you're doing well.
    Blessed be,
    Your friend, Lukas
     
  12. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Active Member

    You are having a Halloween party that is cool. When I was a little girl they use to have Halloween parties at school after we trick and treated,I know what you mean about being overwhelmed sometimes when we have a lot to do that will happen.With me having to go to two doctors within a week makes me ill.You know what kind of party I love?It is a Christmas party.I cant go to any know .bascially because I cant walk all that good i use a walker.I dont know if i ever told you but about 13 years ago I had a very bad fall I hit my head on the entertainment center and the blood was everywhere I was put in the hospital for about two days then in a nursing home for about four months oh dear god it was just plain awful ,the patients were treated like dirt,talk about being anxious,i had to learn how to walk all over again .I know that is what causes a lot of my mental problems,My allergies are about the same,they get worse at night and in the morning,well I said enough hope you are alright,Bless you,your friend ,Carol
     
  13. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    College should be great fun and for sure you will end up making lots of new friends. be excited about it. Perhaps you can join a club or group there that interests you, then you will make friends who like the same things. Be patient, it takes time to become friends.
     
  14. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    How are the wedding plans coming on? It can be a really stressful time when you are planning a wedding. I hope you are both well and happy and enjoying all the preparations.
     
  15. _Lukas

    _Lukas Member

    That sounds like an awful experience, I'm so sorry that happened to you :(
    I hope you've been doing well lately. I will try to be online more often.
     
  16. _Lukas

    _Lukas Member

    The planning is going well, but it's so stressful and sometimes we're just annoyed at each other :/ We've been trying to do a lot of fun stuff together to help minimize the stress.
    I hope you're well! :)
     
  17. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Active Member

    Hi it was awful I can remember it was three o'clock am on a Tuesday morning when I fell,I have asked them not to turn on the sirin. I was all alone because my husband had passed away I had to crawl on my butt just to get to the phone and when I saw the back of my head was bleeding then I got upset.They had to put stables in my head but you know what I never felt a thing even when they took them out.I didn't realize that I hit the entertainment center at first until I saw glass everywhere.ONe thing for sure is I will never go into a nursing home again they have companions that can come to my home, matter of fact I use one now to take me to my doctors appointments
     
  18. _Lukas

    _Lukas Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that :(
    Nursing homes are terrible. I'm so glad you found a way to get help at home so you don't have to go to one again.
    I'm glad you're okay now. That sounds like a horrific experience you had.
    I've been in longterm inpatient care before for my medical issues and all I wanted was to go home.
     
  19. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Active Member

    It was a blessing in disguise it turned out that my meals on wheels lady also works at Companion and Homemakers,part time i have to use them for rides to my doctors because I cannot take the senior bus it has steps very hard for me to go up and down the step,as they say I have to take one STEP at a time.Yes the nurses at nursing homes could care less,when I was in mine this one elderly man keep yelling and crying for help and the nurses would just avoid him the poor man was blind for gods sake they have no compassion.so if i ever need help I am sticking with companions and homemakers,no nursing home for me no way.You couldnt pay me to go into one
     

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