Hi, I'm new here.

[JesJune93]

Hello people who I belong with.
My name is Jessica and I have suffered from health anxiety for as long as I can remember but didn't start having anxiety and panic attacks until 2015. My panic attacks started after a year of using cannabis, which my friend group at the time weren't happy about. From then I had panic attacks nightly for 2 weeks until an ER doctor prescribed me an emergency prescription for Ativan and asked me to get to a GP right away. I had seen this same ER doctor 4 times that week. From my first GP appointment in late 2015 til around summer of 2019 I had gone through 4 doctors who I felt like just didn't understand what I was going through. One of my doctors would "joke" with me about how crazy I was and how powerful my mind was to give myself anxiety rashes. My last doctor I loved, even though she had not experienced anxiety herself she was so compassionate and understanding, it broke my heart to move from her. I had seen her weekly for the last 3 months while we tried different medications. I am currently on Pristiq and Propranolol with the nightly half an Ativan. I moved over 700 miles away so I'm currently looking for a new doctor, and wanting to change medications because I'm still having daily panic attacks, and constant symptom checking. Also, I only have enough of this current medication to last a few more weeks. I wake up checking my pulse, and can't sleep because I feel like I'm electrified awake when I finally get comfortable. I'm always afraid I'm having a heart attack or stroke, or that something is wrong with my heart in general and it's a terrible way to live life. I constantly misinterpret my bodily functions and jump to horrible conclusions. My biggest fear is living until I'm 90 and having wasted so much life worrying about dying. I do have a young son who I am a very good mom to despite my struggles. I'm hopping on here hoping to make some friends that understand what I'm going through and find reassurance.

 

[TX85]

Hi there Jessica, and welcome. I'm sorry you have to be here, but I'm glad you are nonetheless! I've struggled with heart concerns a lot over the past few years as well, so I share some of your pain.

My partner tried Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) for a while and couldn't handle the side-effects. Everyone's biology is different so I don't mean that as a condemnation of the drug, but I just wanted to throw out there that some of what you're experiencing with regard to anxiety could be caused by the Pristiq -- it is an anti-depressant, after all. I don't suffer from depression and so can't really comment.

Both my partner and I have propranolol, though, and I think it's pretty helpful. For something that lasts a little longer, you might consider Bystolic (nebivolol). But I'm sure both are great for handling heart palpitations, high blood pressure, and high bpm.

Do you have a prescription for Xanax (alprazolam)? I've had two panic attacks in my life, and that drug was a miracle for both of them. It has also been very helpful for my anxiety attacks, which are usually caused by this damn hypochondria. If you can't get Xanax, you might try for Klonopin (clonazepam) instead. You do want to be careful with those types of drugs though as it is easy to become dependent on them.

 

[JesJune93]

I too do not have depression, I'm always trying to laugh and make others laugh as well, and have never been truly depressed except when having extended periods of panic where it is difficult to function. I currently have a prescription for Ativan, which helps sometimes. I know the background on benzos aren't good, but I'm terrified of medication so I only take half a pill when I'm panicking but I'm prescribed 1 pill twice a day. My partner doesn't take any medications and has a wonderful outlook on life and death (makes me mad lol) he doesn't fret or panic over many things, unlike me who is keyed up over sometimes the smallest things!

 

[TX85]

I also tend to cut my Xanax in half, so most of the time I'm only taking 0.125 mg of it. So I totally get where you're coming from there!

Curious that you've been given Pristiq even though you don't suffer from depression... that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I have no idea what I'm talking about here, just musing, but I wonder if it wouldn't be a good idea to talk to your doctor about that. A lot of the side effects of Pristiq are like... anxiety-type stuff, or things that could make it more severe. Huh. I don't know.

Oh and yes, I'm also very jealous of your partner. To be free of this curse..!

 

[Dch]

Welcome to the forum @JesJune93

You wrote that your partner had a wonderful outlook on life and death. What is his perspective? Maybe if you write it and share with all of us, it can help us in seeing life from a different angle.

 

[bin_tenn]

Long time anxiety sufferer here as well. Coincidentally, my panic attacks also began some time after I first started smoking weed, many years ago now. I still can't smoke it because of panic attacks. I've only ever been to a therapist a handful of times. It was very helpful, but now I manage on my own, and I've never been on medication for anxiety.

 

[Belizz]

Hi, and I too, long time anxiety and panic disorder sufferer.
I tried CBT, psychotherapy (actually worked best for me) and I did have SSRI for panic disorder which made wonders.
I am glad you are working on your anxiety issues. Good luck

 

[JesJune93]

Welcome to the forum @JesJune93

You wrote that your partner had a wonderful outlook on life and death. What is his perspective? Maybe if you write it and share with all of us, it can help us in seeing life from a different angle.

Well he tells me all the time there is no reason to worry about anything you can't change or prevent, things you feel bad about apologize right away and make "good" and everything else just let it go. Generally he is very calm even if he is hurt mentally or physically. He says living life any other way is a waste of our time here. He isn't religious or spiritual but I feel like he is really connected to everything around him. When I panic he is completely level headed, even when something was truly wrong with me. (emergency gallbladder removal, it almost burst from gall stones) he stayed calm and assured me that I'd be fine once we made it to the hospital.

Long time anxiety sufferer here as well. Coincidentally, my panic attacks also began some time after I first started smoking weed, many years ago now. I still can't smoke it because of panic attacks. I've only ever been to a therapist a handful of times. It was very helpful, but now I manage on my own, and I've never been on medication for anxiety.

I was against seeing a doctor for my anxiety in the beginning and tried treating myself with psychedelics, which in many studies helps. I believe it did help because symptoms would go away for a few months, and come right back after not going the drug again. After I decided to just stop with everything including cigarettes and alcohol I saw a doctor. Finding the right one was the most stressful thing because a lot of doctors don't understand how miserable someone can be even if they tell you that you're healthy. I would like to see a psychologist or psychiatrist in the future, not a clinical therapist.

 

[bin_tenn]

I was against seeing a doctor for my anxiety in the beginning and tried treating myself with psychedelics, which in many studies helps. I believe it did help because symptoms would go away for a few months, and come right back after not going the drug again. After I decided to just stop with everything including cigarettes and alcohol I saw a doctor. Finding the right one was the most stressful thing because a lot of doctors don't understand how miserable someone can be even if they tell you that you're healthy. I would like to see a psychologist or psychiatrist in the future, not a clinical therapist.

Sure, that all makes sense to me. I still smoke cigarettes, have for years. I rarely drink, and only in small amounts when I do. Finding a good doctor is very important, and often very difficult, yes. I've been fortunate enough to have a doctor as well as a therapist who both understand my case very well, and they do their best to keep me healthy and sane - difficult as I make it seem, sometimes. Haha.