hey yo its ya girl

[janemariesayed]

thats how ive been feeling too, it comes and goes with me. i know i wont act on it but they are just in my head

One time I even heard a voice that told me to kill myself. It was really weird and happened when I went for an afternoon nap one day. It stopped me having an afternoon nap though! Thankfully I have two dogs that depend on me. I know I am replaceable but they would be upset. So, I stay in the life. Plus, I believe in reincarnation so there would be no point in topping myself as I believe that I will just end up coming back to the same scenario.

 

[Eleanor Alishav]

It is just awful when you wake up like that in the middle of the night and you just cannot go back to sleep and no matter what you try to do nothing seems to work.I mean i will just lay there sometimes and close my eyes take a deep breathe yes sometimes i even pray however most of the time I try to think of something I really love.for me it is the beach but it wont work so i just spend the rest of the night watching tv.If you have to try turning on your tv maybe something boring will help you sleep.I usually watch the game show network I love Chain Reaction and Baggage.It can be so annoying not being able to sleep I do know with me sometimes I feel like I am drunk lol I have to be careful because I use a walker ya you are talking to an old fart of 65 here lol Sometimes I lose my balance when I am so tired.I am afraid of falling again

i get really lightheaded and dizzy a lot i think cause lack of sleep and constant worrying but i dont know, i just dont take care of myself at all sometimes, i try but its just so much easier not too and sometimes im just too tired to try

 

[Eleanor Alishav]

One time I even heard a voice that told me to kill myself. It was really weird and happened when I went for an afternoon nap one day. It stopped me having an afternoon nap though! Thankfully I have two dogs that depend on me. I know I am replaceable but they would be upset. So, I stay in the life. Plus, I believe in reincarnation so there would be no point in topping myself as I believe that I will just end up coming back to the same scenario.

i dont even know why i feel like dying so much, i just do. i think im just sick of fighting and waking up in the same crappy place surronded by people who arent good for me. i also just dont think highly of myself. im currently awake cause of my new puppy who wants out of her crate so she can explore at 4 in the morning

 

[XmasCarol52]

i get really lightheaded and dizzy a lot i think cause lack of sleep and constant worrying but i dont know, i just dont take care of myself at all sometimes, i try but its just so much easier not too and sometimes im just too tired to try

I do get the lightheadedness to and also the shakes which by the way I am getting now it feels like I want to jump out of my own skin,maybe if i take my klonopin it will help i hope so.My legs feel unstable right now kind of like pins and needles just from my knee down to be honest i am kind of afraid to get up and walk it feels like i may fall and there is no way i will ever go back to a nursing home .i also get the sweats to that is when my anxieties get really bad and sometimes they develop into a p anic attack.this illness sucks

 

[Eleanor Alishav]

my legs fall alseep a lot ike all the time i dont know if that has something to do with anxiety! take you time and take care of yourself! it sucks but you can do it and so can i we just gotta keep pushing

 

[XmasCarol52]

my legs fall alseep a lot ike all the time i dont know if that has something to do with anxiety! take you time and take care of yourself! it sucks but you can do it and so can i we just gotta keep pushing

this is so weird to every single time i get very bad restless leg iknow i am going to gag it is from my gerd like right now it is happening my nose even gets all stuffed too.i DID MAnage to gooutside for awhile this morning but had to come inside because it was way to warm out there

 

[janemariesayed]

i dont even know why i feel like dying so much, i just do. i think im just sick of fighting and waking up in the same crappy place surronded by people who arent good for me. i also just dont think highly of myself. im currently awake cause of my new puppy who wants out of her crate so she can explore at 4 in the morning

My puppy Carlos drove me absolutely nuts when he was a pup in arms (so to speak!) He insisted on sleeping on my bed with me or he would whine at the top of his voice. It got so bad that I was going without sleep so I had to put him in a crate and shut him up in the living room and close the door. I hated it but I was having less and less sleep. I was irritable with lack of sleep and still upset at losing my older dog. He is a lot better now. Much better behaved now he knows the rules. Bless him! But, he still insists on sleeping on my bed, only now he can control his pee so it's not a problem.

You say you don't think highly of yourself. Try writing a list out privately of all the things you have achieved or been, or are good at. There is something that we are all good at and there are good things that all of us do. Either for ourselves, others or animals.

A crappy life, like the one I have had, does make you feel like life is a struggle. A real pain in the posterior. Life for me has felt like a waste of time. Now though, things are getting to be a bit different. I'm in touch with my real family after a half-century and the relationships with them are building and getting stronger by the day. So if there was hope for me, then there will surely be for you.

Death comes to us all, but we don't want to bring it forward. If you can get yourself away from those people who make you feel like that then do get away. For your own good. Then to get your life meaningful? How about thinking what is meaningful to you? What do you like to do, or what interests you in particular? Go and do those things, get involved with a charity or art class or something, but do it for yourself.

You are worth it. Try to not think about dying so much and instead think about what to do with your day. I know what you mean about sick of fighting. Life is unfair and too much of a struggle. There have been many times I have thought how life has been a constant struggle. You've found the right place here to vent and share how you feel. Nobody has been judgemental of me on here and it has given me so much strength.

 

[Atif cheema]

Gud to know that i m not alone in this situation

 

[Desi8963]

I’ve been thinking about death every day for a few weeks...not that I’m going to kill myself but like...that somehow I have something terminally wrong with me and I’m going to go to sleep and not wake up. I end up writing down my last wishes and requests so my kids know I love gh and things like that...it’s sad and it makes me cry. I don’t think I’m depressed that I’m just anxious about death...I wish it would go away but EVERY night I think about it then I can’t sleep because I’m afraid....I’m absolutely exhausted....I feel alone in this

 

[Desi8963]

my legs fall alseep a lot ike all the time i dont know if that has something to do with anxiety! take you time and take care of yourself! it sucks but you can do it and so can i we just gotta keep pushing

Do they fall asleep when ur just laying flat or when? I ask because when my legs are bent at the knee and I’m sitting that way or something...mine always fall asleep and same with my hands...if I use them a lot like gripping my hair brush too tight or whatever they get tingly and like fall asleep a little. I don’t know why