Hey there, newbie here

[thecraycrayone]

Hello so I'm Ana and I realised I suffered from social anxiety last year when I got into uni.
I realised that I cared way too much about what people thought of me and it really started rulling out my life.
Even though I am influenced by what people think of me, that is more a thing that makes me want to isolate myself from the world but in reality I feel lonely and I always thought of myself as independent and that I had a very personal way of doing things and even now if I want to do a new sport or hobby I will go and do it, alone and meet people there, this is not my problem of anxiety.

But now for example, I react crazily to things, I make a big deal out of shitty things that are just everyday things... and this bothers me because I am too explosive and say and specially do things I regret later on when my mind is cool but the worst is that then I can't stop, I am obsessive over what people will think of me and whether they still like me.

And this is really annoying me, and I feel so dependent on some people that when a bad thing happens I call them and I started to feel selfish because I feel like I rely way too much on them and then I don't give back what they gave me.

I just want to understand in a better way why I react so explosively and learn to just let go of things I cannot change anymore but it it's really hard to know even where to start.

And I have good friends and they like me, but then when my explosive part comes into context I wonder if they are willing to still be my friends and so I want to change this and become someone more calm....

I just feel overwhelmed all the time, I fell my heart pounding in my chest and my mind wont stop racing... it's out of control many times and I feel ill because of this.

 

[Rinka]

Hi @thecraycrayone and welcome.
Uh I can really relate to your situation.
I felt similar when I started Uni. I felt very alone, away from family and people I know. I became rather clingy, to one or two specific people.
I think it’s to do with the new environment, new people new expirance that can trigger this certain kind of anxiety.
I suppose it’s part of growing up? Some people learn to deal with it faster and better, some might need more time depending and previous issues, that is.
Thank you for sharing and please come back to us and let us know how you get on.

 

[janemariesayed]

You have it right there how to deal with it. You have said it yourself. The way forward is to let go of things you cannot change. It sounds like meditation might help you. Just blanking your mind for a few minutes a day will help you to make a control of your thoughts. If you feel yourself getting irate, then walk away. Make your apologies and walk away until you feel your mood is lighter.
I was pretty insecure when I was growing up but at the same time was a real extrovert. Don't concern too much about your friends either, a true friend who knows you will accept all your faults and be there for you.