Nat_tat
New Member
- Joined
- May 24, 2018
- Messages
- 13
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Hi guys, my name is Nat and this is my first time on any type of anxiety forum.
I go to counseling for my anxiety currently, but I haven't tried being a part of any type of community.
I'm 23 years old and I can remember becoming anxious prominently around the age of 10.It started off with a phobia, called emetophobia, which is a fear of vomiting. So if I came into contact with anything relating to it I would shut down and cry and shake violently for hours. It was really hard for me because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what anxiety attacks were, my parents weren't supportive and actually punished me for acting this way when my brother got sick (which happened often). I looked it up one day in middle school and realized that it is a legitimate phobia, and I articulated this to my parents, they felt bad but made fun of me for it after that.
Now emetophobia has taken a back seat, except for the fact I can't drink alcohol a lot because I have anxiety attacks if I do regarding the phobia. The attacks get so bad that I make myself physically sick.
For a while 2 years ago I took xanax frequently without a prescription because I was in so much emotional turmoil all of the time. I lied to people close to me about it but I blatantly told other people about it. I didn't do it everyday but It definitely became a crutch, but I got out of the habit by support from someone special, throwing away and deleting my connections to get it and finding a new job, and it started to me sick so that was a prominent reason.
Now mostly I'm affected in my self esteem and thinking that my life will always be bad. It's been really tough because I recently graduated college and now I only have my crappy job I have had for years which I hate, because I didn't get hired at my internship. I feel like the carpet has been pulled out from under my feet and very lost and extremely scared because I feel like I have no control over whats happening anymore. All I want is for someone to just tell me that I'm going to be ok, and that I'll be happy and get a job and such, but I want it to be the actual truth. Lately Ive been extremely unsettled by the fact I don't know what is going to happen to me and there is no structure.
Was a bit of a ramble, but hey happy to be on here. Cant wait to chat with you guys and we can help support each other.
I go to counseling for my anxiety currently, but I haven't tried being a part of any type of community.
I'm 23 years old and I can remember becoming anxious prominently around the age of 10.It started off with a phobia, called emetophobia, which is a fear of vomiting. So if I came into contact with anything relating to it I would shut down and cry and shake violently for hours. It was really hard for me because I didn't know what was wrong with me or what anxiety attacks were, my parents weren't supportive and actually punished me for acting this way when my brother got sick (which happened often). I looked it up one day in middle school and realized that it is a legitimate phobia, and I articulated this to my parents, they felt bad but made fun of me for it after that.
Now emetophobia has taken a back seat, except for the fact I can't drink alcohol a lot because I have anxiety attacks if I do regarding the phobia. The attacks get so bad that I make myself physically sick.
For a while 2 years ago I took xanax frequently without a prescription because I was in so much emotional turmoil all of the time. I lied to people close to me about it but I blatantly told other people about it. I didn't do it everyday but It definitely became a crutch, but I got out of the habit by support from someone special, throwing away and deleting my connections to get it and finding a new job, and it started to me sick so that was a prominent reason.
Now mostly I'm affected in my self esteem and thinking that my life will always be bad. It's been really tough because I recently graduated college and now I only have my crappy job I have had for years which I hate, because I didn't get hired at my internship. I feel like the carpet has been pulled out from under my feet and very lost and extremely scared because I feel like I have no control over whats happening anymore. All I want is for someone to just tell me that I'm going to be ok, and that I'll be happy and get a job and such, but I want it to be the actual truth. Lately Ive been extremely unsettled by the fact I don't know what is going to happen to me and there is no structure.
Was a bit of a ramble, but hey happy to be on here. Cant wait to chat with you guys and we can help support each other.
