Hey Fellas

[Twinkie Moon]

Although I have not been clinically diagnosed with anxiety, I do believe I have it.

Music seems to be the only thing right now that gives me a sense of relaxation.

Anyways, I've always been the incredibly shy person ever since I could remember. In preeschool I've been bombarded with "[Twinkie] needs to speak more!" I couldn't even speak to the teacher to go to the bathroom back then and had to rely on someone else (not much of an improvement since I still rarely ask teachers to go to the bathroom even if I'm bursting). Teachers were concerned with how unnaturally well-behaved I was. I'm still getting those types of comments nowadays which – not gonna lie – make me cry.

I guess it's because I receive it as criticism. And any sort of criticism, whether it'd be directly or indirectly, makes me just bawl and beat myself up. And when I do cry I feel like a spoiled baby so I beat myself up even more and it's just a vicious cycle! Like in school, first week I couldn't stop crying or have much of an appetite because of stress.. luckily the teacher didn't make a scene out of that. I thought they thought I was high or something (red, puffy eyes)..

I hate how I can't even pick up my phone or answer the door without hesitation or flat out not answering, and then sometimes crying because of how incapable I can function in the real world.. If I do answer, I'm a huge mess: sweaty, shaky, nauseous etc.

I'd love to go outside and enjoy parks and such, but I just can't and I don't know why. Sometimes I just want to evade friends even if they're a lot of fun to be around.

I also have a problem with psychiatrists since a friend of mine went to a few and none of them really cared, just the $$$.

 

[janemariesayed]

Although I have not been clinically diagnosed with anxiety, I do believe I have it.

Music seems to be the only thing right now that gives me a sense of relaxation.

Anyways, I've always been the incredibly shy person ever since I could remember. In preeschool I've been bombarded with "[Twinkie] needs to speak more!" I couldn't even speak to the teacher to go to the bathroom back then and had to rely on someone else (not much of an improvement since I still rarely ask teachers to go to the bathroom even if I'm bursting). Teachers were concerned with how unnaturally well-behaved I was. I'm still getting those types of comments nowadays which – not gonna lie – make me cry.

I guess it's because I receive it as criticism. And any sort of criticism, whether it'd be directly or indirectly, makes me just bawl and beat myself up. And when I do cry I feel like a spoiled baby so I beat myself up even more and it's just a vicious cycle! Like in school, first week I couldn't stop crying or have much of an appetite because of stress.. luckily the teacher didn't make a scene out of that. I thought they thought I was high or something (red, puffy eyes)..

I hate how I can't even pick up my phone or answer the door without hesitation or flat out not answering, and then sometimes crying because of how incapable I can function in the real world.. If I do answer, I'm a huge mess: sweaty, shaky, nauseous etc.

I'd love to go outside and enjoy parks and such, but I just can't and I don't know why. Sometimes I just want to evade friends even if they're a lot of fun to be around.

I also have a problem with psychiatrists since a friend of mine went to a few and none of them really cared, just the $$$.

Hiya Twinkie Moon. (I love the name you have chosen!) It is a good thing that you have found that music helps. I suggest to have it always on quietly in the background anytime that you can. (Even with earphones)

I'm sorry that you are suffering and it does seem to me that not only are you suffering anxiety, but a bit of agoraphobia as well as depression. You need to see your doctor and explain to him how you are feeling. He will give you meds that will help somewhat. He can also help you out with therapy. Is there a charity near you that you could talk with?

Some therapists can be fantastic. All you have to do is get yourself there. Even if you don't speak. They will encourage it. They will get to the bottom of the reason why you feel the way you do.

Give yourself a pat on the back! You have come on here and spoken out about how you feel. That was brave of you and you succeeded, so well done for being brave. We are always here for you so please let us know how you deal with this.

 

[Twinkie Moon]

Hiya Twinkie Moon. (I love the name you have chosen!) It is a good thing that you have found that music helps. I suggest to have it always on quietly in the background anytime that you can. (Even with earphones)

I'm sorry that you are suffering and it does seem to me that not only are you suffering anxiety, but a bit of agoraphobia as well as depression. You need to see your doctor and explain to him how you are feeling. He will give you meds that will help somewhat. He can also help you out with therapy. Is there a charity near you that you could talk with?

Some therapists can be fantastic. All you have to do is get yourself there. Even if you don't speak. They will encourage it. They will get to the bottom of the reason why you feel the way you do.

Give yourself a pat on the back! You have come on here and spoken out about how you feel. That was brave of you and you succeeded, so well done for being brave. We are always here for you so please let us know how you deal with this.

Thank you for your kind words! Yeah I've been feeling "in the blues" for weeks and a class I'm taking is the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever had.

I bearly even draw now and that was my favorite hobby. It's just music I listen to (thank you Dream Theater!). In fact I was incredibly relaxed just listening to calming music and walking around trees and nature in general! It was almost unreal!
I still can't go outside voluntarily which is odd, I want to always be inside.

But hmm.. I don't really know many charities near me..

 

[Jenniferlynn]

Hello twinkie moon! Well the only way i was able to be able to see a phyciatrist and therapist was because of a place called red rock. Its for people with no income because i lost my job because of my aniexty and panic attacks. Look it up like help with mental illness or something like that. There is help in every state bc mental illness is so huge anymore. This forum is amazing though to at least have people to talk to ya know? Thats a big help. Sending u love and light hun

 

[janemariesayed]

Thank you for your kind words! Yeah I've been feeling "in the blues" for weeks and a class I'm taking is the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever had.

I bearly even draw now and that was my favorite hobby. It's just music I listen to (thank you Dream Theater!). In fact I was incredibly relaxed just listening to calming music and walking around trees and nature in general! It was almost unreal!
I still can't go outside voluntarily which is odd, I want to always be inside.

But hmm.. I don't really know many charities near me..

Oh no! You really must get back to drawing. If at the moment you are stuck inside then make it count and do something productive that you enjoy. If you do, it will go towards making you feel better. Paint some pictures of nature! That might just make you feel like going out amongst it.

I'm like you and suffer agoraphobia too. Sometimes I can get out when no one is about. Like sunrise for example! My poor dogs don't get an outside walk everyday, but they do get an allocated playtime in the garden. Sometimes I am so bad that I find it difficult to go into my garden as well. But having dogs means that they need at least 20 minutes of sunshine every day for their vitamin D intake, (as do we humans) so I make sure I give them that 20 minutes by hook or by crook. However much panic it sends me into. I get out there in my garden and throw the ball for them. Sometimes they have a sniff around by themselves and I sit on the chair out there watching the minutes waiting for the twenty minutes to pass. But, it gets me outside.

Do you have a dog? Can you get one? Do you have a garden or a balcony? Getting that twenty minutes of fresh air is good for our health and mental health as you realise when you are close to nature how it makes you feel.

Also, do you have any indoor plants? That can help too.

Look online to find a charity near you. You may even find details on your local library website or your local council website. I'm not sure how old you are, but say for example there may be an 18 - 30's club near you?

How about joining an art class or art club? You would make friends with similar interests to you and it won't feel bad to attend on your own as others will also be going on their own too.

 

[Twinkie Moon]

Oh no! You really must get back to drawing. If at the moment you are stuck inside then make it count and do something productive that you enjoy. If you do, it will go towards making you feel better. Paint some pictures of nature! That might just make you feel like going out amongst it.

I'm like you and suffer agoraphobia too. Sometimes I can get out when no one is about. Like sunrise for example! My poor dogs don't get an outside walk everyday, but they do get an allocated playtime in the garden. Sometimes I am so bad that I find it difficult to go into my garden as well. But having dogs means that they need at least 20 minutes of sunshine every day for their vitamin D intake, (as do we humans) so I make sure I give them that 20 minutes by hook or by crook. However much panic it sends me into. I get out there in my garden and throw the ball for them. Sometimes they have a sniff around by themselves and I sit on the chair out there watching the minutes waiting for the twenty minutes to pass. But, it gets me outside.

Do you have a dog? Can you get one? Do you have a garden or a balcony? Getting that twenty minutes of fresh air is good for our health and mental health as you realise when you are close to nature how it makes you feel.

Also, do you have any indoor plants? That can help too.

Look online to find a charity near you. You may even find details on your local library website or your local council website. I'm not sure how old you are, but say for example there may be an 18 - 30's club near you?

How about joining an art class or art club? You would make friends with similar interests to you and it won't feel bad to attend on your own as others will also be going on their own too.

I should get back to drawing, but I'm just not motivated enough to do it. I do know by watching other people draw my creative juices start to flow (Bob Ross I'm watching you, literally..)!

I don't really have a yard just a small patch of grass and a tree, but I would like to befriend a squirrel or a couple of birds as I don't have pets of my own.
I've always wanted a cute hamster, gerbil, even a fish to take care of, but I still live with my parents and they don't approve.

And I really don't have a green thumb at all, might even kill a cactus! Last time I tried planting it resulted in a big mess.

Anyways, thanks for your tips!

 

[janemariesayed]

I should get back to drawing, but I'm just not motivated enough to do it. I do know by watching other people draw my creative juices start to flow (Bob Ross I'm watching you, literally..)!

I don't really have a yard just a small patch of grass and a tree, but I would like to befriend a squirrel or a couple of birds as I don't have pets of my own.
I've always wanted a cute hamster, gerbil, even a fish to take care of, but I still live with my parents and they don't approve.

And I really don't have a green thumb at all, might even kill a cactus! Last time I tried planting it resulted in a big mess.

Anyways, thanks for your tips!

A patch of grass is enough, and a tree! I planted a small umbrella tree a couple of years ago. It's growing really well and looking lovely and lush at the moment. I go and look at it and care for it and you know what? I'm sure that tree loves me! I just feel it.

Shame your parents won't let you have something small as a fish or a hamster. I grew up with animals. My adoptive parents thought it good that we learned how to care for animals so we had lots of them. It was like a mini zoo, lol. Having a pet does wonder's for the mental health.

I honestly don't have green fingers either, but I am trying. Plants die and some live with me. Get yourself a geranium. They are hardy and do your best to care for it. Keep it in your room and make it yours. Just give it a little water every now and again and you will see it grow. It will make you feel better about yourself. It's amazing how something so small can make us feel so much better.