Help with overcoming please.

[telephoneman]

here will be two parts because of an Ex friend dying.

First part: my mom did (still may) look down on football players (hi school or pro) bc of bad experiences she had and it’s hard to defend them now with all kinds of stuff they do. She seems to have lessened the stance but I would be disappointed if I was wrong. Im a bit worried some of them may have been able to tell. I won’t be a wimp but sometimes I’m misguided. Heaven forbid if one of those football players (or a friend) called my mom a bad word (esp a certain few) instead of going ham, is it ok to say don’t say that again and ask why the person said It? Assuming this is a reason. I mean I don’t want to lose friendships but at the same time I have to stand up if need be. It’s like my mom is wrong if she has certain stereotypes but it’s kinda ppls wrong if they hold this against her. It’s kind of a hard position and I hope I make sense. Note nothing has happened in 3-9 years. Do you think I’m ok then?


Second part: an x friend died a few years ago and it came into my head that (being exact) between 3-4 years ago he could have spread bad words about my mom since he knows she didn’t like me hanging out with him. He knows ppl I know and talk with. If nothing has been said since do you think Im ok?

 

[Rinka]

Hi @telephoneman welcome to the forum.
To be really honest with you, it is difficult for me to grasp the whole of your story, but I will try to respond anyway.
In regards to your mom having a bad opinion towards football players; I guess she has had band experience with them and wants you to be save in a way, but then on the other hand not everyone is the same and that needs to be recognised.
I would suggest to be honest with your friends, explain to them that your mom had a hard time with players and might mention something. I be if your mother would get to know the person behind the player she would not feel like that.

In regard to your ex friend, if you ever had anyone competing up to you and asked you about your mom, then I suppose your should be fine. But then again, if someone does come to you, just be honest and explain.

I hope this helped you a bit.

 

[telephoneman]

Hi @telephoneman welcome to the forum.
To be really honest with you, it is difficult for me to grasp the whole of your story, but I will try to respond anyway.
In regards to your mom having a bad opinion towards football players; I guess she has had band experience with them and wants you to be save in a way, but then on the other hand not everyone is the same and that needs to be recognised.
I would suggest to be honest with your friends, explain to them that your mom had a hard time with players and might mention something. I be if your mother would get to know the person behind the player she would not feel like that.

In regard to your ex friend, if you ever had anyone competing up to you and asked you about your mom, then I suppose your should be fine. But then again, if someone does come to you, just be honest and explain.

I hope this helped you a bit.

Thank you. I meant I am concerned someone still may say something bad about her after all this time even nothing bad has ben said. If nothing has been said do you think I’m still ok as in none of them will say anything?

 

[Rinka]

I think you will be alright. If no one has said anything to you now, they won't in the future.
Don't worry it will be alright.

 

[telephoneman]

I think you will be alright. If no one has said anything to you now, they won't in the future.
Don't worry it will be alright.

Even if it’s been 3-4 years?

 

[Rinka]

That’s quite a long time, especially when you are young. You will be alright. If someone is really saying anything p, be honest to them. Don’t forget you are not your mother, it’s not under your control what she is thinking or doing.