Help please anxious after rehoming dog

[Asdef]

5 years ago after much reasearch and due diligence we got a lovely bulldog pup.
After about 5 days a crippling anxiety came over me. What had I done!
The puppy was fine. My husband had totally bonded with him, but all I could think of was total panic, crying all the time, terrible it’s. at the end of 2 weeks I phoned the breeder and gave him back. Everyone was devastated including me. The guilt and self hatred was enormous. So fast forward 5 years and we have now rehomed an older dog. She is lovely and everyone is totally in love with her. We have had her 2 and a half weeks and the crippling anxiety is back. I don’t know what to do. I can’t return her it’s not fair to do that to everyone or the dog but every morning the anxiety gets worse. I’m sure a lot of you will say you shouldn’t have got another dog. And I can’t argue with that but it doesn’t help. What am I to do? I feel trapped,

 

[janemariesayed]

5 years ago after much reasearch and due diligence we got a lovely bulldog pup.
After about 5 days a crippling anxiety came over me. What had I done!
The puppy was fine. My husband had totally bonded with him, but all I could think of was total panic, crying all the time, terrible it’s. at the end of 2 weeks I phoned the breeder and gave him back. Everyone was devastated including me. The guilt and self hatred was enormous. So fast forward 5 years and we have now rehomed an older dog. She is lovely and everyone is totally in love with her. We have had her 2 and a half weeks and the crippling anxiety is back. I don’t know what to do. I can’t return her it’s not fair to do that to everyone or the dog but every morning the anxiety gets worse. I’m sure a lot of you will say you shouldn’t have got another dog. And I can’t argue with that but it doesn’t help. What am I to do? I feel trapped,

You got another dog because you do want one. But why are you getting anxious? Is it because you think you won't be able to care for it? What is in your mind when you cry about it?

Don't give the dog back. He is part of your family now. Give it time and things will get easier. Enjoy him and get some cuddles and love. He will help you when you are feeling anxious. Dogs are wonderful at sensing things like that. Dry your tears Asdef. You have got yourself a truly wonderful gift in that dog but please respond to me with why it is making you anxious.

 

[Asdef]

It’s stupid, but I feel trapped. I even sometimes think the dog is 5 and a half now and bull dogs live between 8 and 10 years can I cope with how I feel for that long? I’m a terrible person

 

[janemariesayed]

It’s stupid, but I feel trapped. I even sometimes think the dog is 5 and a half now and bull dogs live between 8 and 10 years can I cope with how I feel for that long? I’m a terrible person

So it is the commitment that you have to give that is overwhelming for you. Okay, well that does not make you a terrible person. It makes you a caring and sensible person as you realise how much it takes to be an animal parent.

Is it left completely to you to care for it? For example, if you really don't want it for your own reasons, then it may be better to pass it over to a family that will love it. But if your family are around to take it for walks and help feed it and play with it then I think you should keep it.

Why? Because you will find that a dog is the bestest friend that you will ever have. If it stays with you then revel in it and get yourself loads of unconditional love.

 

[Asdef]

Both myself and my husband look after her together. I feel so stupid.

 

[I like pie]

Both myself and my husband look after her together. I feel so stupid.

I kind of understand what you are going through. It is a lot of responsibility to care for an animal and it can feel overwhelming at times. A few things to maybe ask yourself:
1) Does the dog make you happy? Do you enjoy being around her even though you are stressed?
2)Would it help if your husband agreed to take on more of responsibilities?

 

[Asdef]

Hi my husband has been very good. It’s all me. I like the dog but I’m not bonding. I’m not sure if this is because I know I might have to let it go. It’s just a mess