Hello

[Onix]

Hello, im new here. Trying to find people who understand my fears. I suffer from anxiety, it is getting worst and i can't tell anyone in my family cause they got their own issues, mu husband is the kind of person that thinks that stuff id for the weak so telling him just makes me feel worst. I have to put a face through out the day, but at night i cant sleep, i cant breath, i feel so scared and alone. I feel i'll soon explode. I read some of your post and just knowing there are others made me feel a bit better for today.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Hello and welcome I am right with you there cause my family doesn't have a clue to how I feel and what I go through mostly every single day.I lost my husband on July29th 13 years ago he was pretty good about except for the agoraphobia he would get mad because I couldn't go to any of the family gatherings. He and my family just don't get it here is one for you one time my mother ugh told me that i have had this illness meaning anxieties long enough and that I should be over it by now,over it ,how do you get over it?I have lived most of my life with this awful illness 30 plus years.If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you.I love it here this place has become my family the people are so nice and friendly.What I love about it is they do not judge you.Ever notice because of our illness people seem to judge us??As if it was our fault.

 

[janemariesayed]

Hello @Onix and welcome to the forum. How are you feeling today? You've found a good place to come here. Everyone is really friendly and supportive so you are in the right place. You can always come on here and tell us how you are feeling so you don't have to feel that you are alone.

Have you seen your doctor and talked to him about your feelings? He may be able to give you some meds that might make you feel better. What is it that makes you feel anxious?

 

[Onix]

Thank you. I do feel a bit better just knowing i joined. I've been like this since i can remember. It got worst since my father died 8 years ago from cancer. I'm just afraid of everything. I suffer from nightmares since i was about 12. I have some small phobias. I usually hate myself, i don't know why i'm this way exactly. I have lots of issues with my mother. I tried therapy countless times but it doesn't seem to work much. I've been on heaby meds and they made me feel even more useless. But knowing there are other people that could relate makes me feel less like a wirdo. My family has never really understand and for my husband is just unaceptable. So i feel so alone in this. Thank you both for welcoming me.

 

[janemariesayed]

And you are very welcome too @Onix You are not alone now you have found this forum.

I have problems with my mother too, my family is very dysfunctional and it hurts so very much and goes towards the loneliness that I feel. If it wasn'#t for my two doggies I don't know what I would do or how I would cope.

There are many different types of therapy, I am wondering why none of them worked out for you?

 

[Onix]

Hi. Im out of breath again, with this thing on my chest. Some days are just hard to live. And the thing is, there is nothing really bad in my life, its just me, im like this, don't know why. Im useless, i have no strength, no will power. I guess that's why theraphy doesn't work. I'm a quiter. I never finish anything I start. I don't know why I'm just afraid of everything. And it gets worst every year. I'm just useless.

 

[janemariesayed]

Depression can cause us to procrastinate. I am the same as you @Onix I find it difficult to finish anything I start. It is a daily struggle and I feel useless too.

It seems that your depression is because of the relationship with your mother. I tend to think that without solving the actual problem itself, all the therapy in the world wouldn't fix us 100% but it may be able to help us with some coping techniques.

It is a vicious circle, we are depressed so we procrastinate, and procrastinating makes us feel more depressed.

Here is a link that you could try listening to. It says to use headphones but it is okay without, but maybe not as strong. I have done these binaural beats on and off, when I remember! And they always seem to help. You may not finish your task completely, but it will certainly help you to get some things done. Try it and let me know what effect it has on you. For me, I listen to this very same video for two to three days and then I start cleaning my house and getting things done. It's quite amazing really.

It works by resonating with a vibration inside our body. We, at the moment, are vibrating in a negative frequency. Our 'get up and get things done' frequency is vibrating at a low and dense frequency. When we listen to this binaural beat, the vibrations in it are vibrating at a frequency to uplift the vibrations that give us the 'get up and do things' vibe. So this helps us, try it out I am sure you will be amazed.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I want to tell you that you are not useless,nobody here is useless at all,I know the feeling though because I feel like that all the time,Like what good am I? I cannot go anywhere without being scared,I cannot just go anywhere without feeling my world is crumbling beneath me.OH my mother doesn't get my illness at all and she doesn't even try to she says it is my fault because I am afraid to go out .How can that be my fault ,she thinks I am not right anyway. My kids both think I have a screw loose.They unfortunately are of no help.I could be sitting here dying and what would they care.One time I had chests pains my mom went and called my daughter to come and check up on me It was only my gerd and I told my mother not to bother my daughter wells she did not only did my daughter call me but she said she couldnt come because get this because she had a party to go to ya a stinking party.If one of my kids was not feeling well I would have said to hell with the party,but no .KIds now a days think of nobody but themselves, I love them so much and my grandchildren,I wish they could see that sometimes i think they wont come to visit me because they are worried about my mental state,yet my mother swears like a sailor in front of them and does nothing but complain yet she gets to see them every Sunday me no.I feel like such a outcast in my own home when they do come here I cannot relax the only good thing is i get to see my two grandchildren a boy and a girl and my son,I just wish my kids would know that I am alive they say I love you sure when I have to say it first and sometimes I dont even get that.. So this forum has become my family at least i know here you will understand me and not laugh or put me down,because of my fears even though some of them can be odd like my zombie fears,but hey i have heard of other fears one woman on tv is actually afraid of ketchup,ya ketchup.I love you my friend and here is a hug for you,Hugs.

 

[Onix]

Depression can cause us to procrastinate. I am the same as you @Onix I find it difficult to finish anything I start. It is a daily struggle and I feel useless too.

It seems that your depression is because of the relationship with your mother. I tend to think that without solving the actual problem itself, all the therapy in the world wouldn't fix us 100% but it may be able to help us with some coping techniques.

It is a vicious circle, we are depressed so we procrastinate, and procrastinating makes us feel more depressed.

Here is a link that you could try listening to. It says to use headphones but it is okay without, but maybe not as strong. I have done these binaural beats on and off, when I remember! And they always seem to help. You may not finish your task completely, but it will certainly help you to get some things done. Try it and let me know what effect it has on you. For me, I listen to this very same video for two to three days and then I start cleaning my house and getting things done. It's quite amazing really.

It works by resonating with a vibration inside our body. We, at the moment, are vibrating in a negative frequency. Our 'get up and get things done' frequency is vibrating at a low and dense frequency. When we listen to this binaural beat, the vibrations in it are vibrating at a frequency to uplift the vibrations that give us the 'get up and do things' vibe. So this helps us, try it out I am sure you will be amazed.

Depression can cause us to procrastinate. I am the same as you @Onix I find it difficult to finish anything I start. It is a daily struggle and I feel useless too.

It seems that your depression is because of the relationship with your mother. I tend to think that without solving the actual problem itself, all the therapy in the world wouldn't fix us 100% but it may be able to help us with some coping techniques.

It is a vicious circle, we are depressed so we procrastinate, and procrastinating makes us feel more depressed.

Here is a link that you could try listening to. It says to use headphones but it is okay without, but maybe not as strong. I have done these binaural beats on and off, when I remember! And they always seem to help. You may not finish your task completely, but it will certainly help you to get some things done. Try it and let me know what effect it has on you. For me, I listen to this very same video for two to three days and then I start cleaning my house and getting things done. It's quite amazing really.

It works by resonating with a vibration inside our body. We, at the moment, are vibrating in a negative frequency. Our 'get up and get things done' frequency is vibrating at a low and dense frequency. When we listen to this binaural beat, the vibrations in it are vibrating at a frequency to uplift the vibrations that give us the 'get up and do things' vibe. So this helps us, try it out I am sure you will be amazed.

Hello @janemariesayed , I heard the video today and not sure why but it made me feel better, but more than that, thanks to your sugestion i found a bunch of videos with motivational messages that i'm looking foward to try. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, is refreshing to know you understand exactly how i feel. I can't thank you enough. Hope you 're feeling great today.

 

[Onix]

I want to tell you that you are not useless,nobody here is useless at all,I know the feeling though because I feel like that all the time,Like what good am I? I cannot go anywhere without being scared,I cannot just go anywhere without feeling my world is crumbling beneath me.OH my mother doesn't get my illness at all and she doesn't even try to she says it is my fault because I am afraid to go out .How can that be my fault ,she thinks I am not right anyway. My kids both think I have a screw loose.They unfortunately are of no help.I could be sitting here dying and what would they care.One time I had chests pains my mom went and called my daughter to come and check up on me It was only my gerd and I told my mother not to bother my daughter wells she did not only did my daughter call me but she said she couldnt come because get this because she had a party to go to ya a stinking party.If one of my kids was not feeling well I would have said to hell with the party,but no .KIds now a days think of nobody but themselves, I love them so much and my grandchildren,I wish they could see that sometimes i think they wont come to visit me because they are worried about my mental state,yet my mother swears like a sailor in front of them and does nothing but complain yet she gets to see them every Sunday me no.I feel like such a outcast in my own home when they do come here I cannot relax the only good thing is i get to see my two grandchildren a boy and a girl and my son,I just wish my kids would know that I am alive they say I love you sure when I have to say it first and sometimes I dont even get that.. So this forum has become my family at least i know here you will understand me and not laugh or put me down,because of my fears even though some of them can be odd like my zombie fears,but hey i have heard of other fears one woman on tv is actually afraid of ketchup,ya ketchup.I love you my friend and here is a hug for you,Hugs.

Hello @XmasCarol52 , I'm sorry your family don't get you, I sure relate to that.Neither my mother nor my siblings get me either, but for me, the one that hurts me the most is my husband. I have a bunch of fears, the strogest one right now is my fear of flying. I have to go on a trip in 2 weeks and i can bearly sleep just thinking i have to get on a plane. But @janemariesayed led me to some motivational videos on youtube and i found one for fear of flying so I'm hoping it'll help. I want to thank you for replying, it is very helpful to know theres someone willing to give their time to just say "hey i hear ya" . Thank you, it really helped me feel better. And thank you for sharing. I'm sure your kids love you, they just don't know how to handdle you, just like my mother with me. Hope your feeling great today. Sending you lots of Hugs.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Hi Onix so very glad to hear from you.I will say a prayer for you so that u will be okay on the plane,my goodness you are one brave woman,I couldn't even begin to think of flying on a plan it is hard enough for me to get into a car,Just about two weeks ago I tried taking the van to the doctors but I did not do to well,it has steps and I shake some so I had a hard time climbing up the stairs even though i have to use a walker but it got much worse when i went to get off the van i had to sit down to go to the steps what a site that must have been. IN any case my entire leg got stuck my friend tried to get it out but as hard as she tried she couldn't so she went to the back of the van to see if she could pry it loose nope. lucky for me i was able to lift my leg over the pole then sit down only three steps but sometimes i get this problem where my legs are so shaky I can hardly stand I feel like I am going to fall,and sometimes i have to catch myself so I don't.It is very scary for me sometimes I barely make it to my seat before my legs give in,I do my leg exercises so I dont know why they would give in like that.I had one bad fall I do not need another one... Thanks for asking,I had a bad day today very angry depressed and I have no idea why even though I went outside ,i was fine outside but when i had to come back in the house I was angry and depressed.I cannot figure this illness out.I fear just about everything,the dark,zombies ,going to the doctors SNAKES ugh eeek ,rats, just going out anywhere now I am going to have to do a companion place to take me to the doctors because I cannot risk a bad fall on the van,I do not know who is taking me but I am hoping she is a nice person I cannot deal with mean and uncaring people.So I am anxious about that... Wwe just cant win sometimes can we?? I do hope that you are okay and if you like you can call me Carol.Hugs Hugs and more Hugs to you.

 

[janemariesayed]

Yes, there are lots of videos on Youtube that can really help with so many inner feelings that we have. I am quite surprised that the doctors are not suggesting them as therapy for all sorts of problems. It is just remembering to do them. I do them haphazardly because of my condition.

My house is in need of a good clean so I'll be doing this video for a couple of days. And my garden needs some work doing on it too, now the weather is so lovely. So this video will be certainly on my 'to do' list for the next couple of days.

I'm glad you found a flying video to help you. Try doing it every day before you fly and I am sure it will help.