Hello! I have made massive strides in my anxiety. However, the pandemic has really made it hard for me.

[DoUntoUdders]

Hello everyone! I am so glad to have found this forum. You seem like a great community.

I'll keep this short. I used to suffer from severe anxiety. I was having at least 50 panic attacks a day, could not retain information due to the panic attacks, often forgot where I was and my own name, and 3+ times a year I was hospitalized for a six or more weeks at a time due to suicide attempts or ideation. I eventually turned to alcohol to try to cope, and that's when things were at their worst. I ended up getting connected with my current treatment team when I gave myself an ultimatum regarding my alcohol abuse. That's where I am now--a little over a year into that treatment.

Now I have two or fewer panic attacks per MONTH. It's amazing. I worked a job I could tolerate to get my finances together, broke up with my abusive ex or eight years, then moved into my own apartment that I love. A couple of months after that (and about three and a half weeks ago for reference today), I scored my dream job working at a dog daycare and boarding facility. I have worked with animals (mostly dogs) for years and excel at it--likely due to the lack of reliance on human interaction. Ironically, being in NC during the COVID pandemic I am now forced to stay at home. We were one of the first businesses to close temporarily. I definitely still have my job--we just won't be opening up again until the beginning of May.

I worked so hard to get to the point that I could be around people again and actually enjoy it. Now I'm stuck here alone and keep thinking about drinking due to the isolation and having nothing to do. I started taking a class about well-being on Coursera and it gave me the idea to reach out to a forum like this to gain support and help support others. At any rate... It's nice to "meet" you!

 

[smilingsoul]

Welcome, DUU. I'm glad you've found us. It looks like you're doing a great job rebuilding your life, and becoming the person you deserve to be. One good reason for taking care of yourself is that it allows the attention of first responders and medical professionals to be on the people suffering from this pandemic. I thought a bit about going for a ride on my motorcycle to work today, and although the odds of me crashing or the like are even more vanishingly small than they would be in normal times, I thought "its not worth the chance that I'd be adding to that burden in the emergency rooms". I did look at my bike though, and think about riding it in better times.

 

[DoUntoUdders]

Thank you very much! I thought about riding my bike too. A lot of my neighbors have bikes and they're all parked here all of the time now. I thought about that and decided "Duh, that's the reason..." Just walking for now. I definitely have everything I need and much more than enough for my pets. I honestly kind of like only having to go out to walk the pup and exercise myself. I'm just hoping it doesn't end up affecting the social skills I finally gained. :/

 

[jantheman]

it sounds to me like you are a strong and motivated person. from the way you communicate am betting u have great social skills. just find things to fill your day..for me a daily routine helps my anxiety. i dont have any great words of wisdom...just good luck.

 

[smilingsoul]

The disruption of my routine was honestly more upsetting to me than the possibility of getting sick! Its funny, because I never thought of myself as a "routine person" - until I couldn't do the things I was used to doing anymore!

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Hey there, and welcome! The pandemic is hitting a lot of us really hard. I am amazed at everything you said, though - what a great success story! I know it's hard right now, and it's completely understandable that you're struggling. We all are. It is not a setback for you - just a life experience you're having to handle. You will come back from it. It may look a little different than before, like it may for all of us. I don't think any of us will just bounce back immediately here. But you will keep moving forward like you have been.

Do you have any support like AA to help with your sobriety while you're home alone? AA (and probably other groups) are doing online meetings right now.

 

[DoUntoUdders]

Hey there, and welcome! The pandemic is hitting a lot of us really hard. I am amazed at everything you said, though - what a great success story! I know it's hard right now, and it's completely understandable that you're struggling. We all are. It is not a setback for you - just a life experience you're having to handle. You will come back from it. It may look a little different than before, like it may for all of us. I don't think any of us will just bounce back immediately here. But you will keep moving forward like you have been.

Do you have any support like AA to help with your sobriety while you're home alone? AA (and probably other groups) are doing online meetings right now.

Thank you! Over the last few days I've really been seeing how much this is affecting everyone around me regardless of their circumstances. I've spoken to my parents about how this is something that will make me one of the old people that the younger generations want to ask questions to. I was nine years old when 9/11 happened. My Dad was supposed to be in one of the towers that day but his flight was delayed. I was at Obama's first inauguration. I used to play handheld games without colored pixels, let alone a backlit screen! And now this. I haven't even reached my third decade of life and I've seen incredible things. My parents are proud of how well I've been handling this. I've been triggered by MUCH less.

I've got telehealth appointments with my therapist and some support communities on the web. Since I posted this thread I've had another breakthrough in my substance abuse recovery--realizing how dysphoric I feel when I'm intoxicated and opening up to my family about how I was thinking about it. I drank twice and it was not pleasant. "Uncomfortable" is the best way I can think of as describing it. I've also been taking naltrexone and that helps create that effect. I think current circumstances just make it unbearable though. I don't need total control anymore, but I don't want to lose the control I've got.

it sounds to me like you are a strong and motivated person. from the way you communicate am betting u have great social skills. just find things to fill your day..for me a daily routine helps my anxiety. i dont have any great words of wisdom...just good luck.

Thank you! I do have some solid social skills. That's actually what gives me the most anxiety at this point though. I still have trouble with strangers and am extremely hesitant to make friends although people tell me often that they love how much I smile, my sense of humor is great, etc. I've been mentally and physically hurt and abused so many times. That's my last major hurdle to jump, I think.

 

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Is a strange world we are living in at the moment. Something nobody would have expect even 6 months ago. Kind of like all the rules of life have changed. And here we are trying to make sense of it all. Sooner it end the better. Then you can get back to working with your dogs. Just keep that last part in mind. The dogs will be there waiting for you.

 

[PRguru_cfj]

I am a very intro vetted person. since the quarantine I started to miss talking to people outside my house. I'm in my nearly twenties and I started or in this case used to go out to group functions. I even started to make connection but mostly superficial ones. Not the best people to hang around but it spiced my life up for a bit. Untill this mess happens and with no job anymore pluse all my genuine friends have all but graduated, went to the military, or started a family. I feel like I'm missi go out on life.
It took me A LONG time to trust people again after numerous altercation from people I thought were my fire da so my community collage days were very lonely and any romantic feelings I tried to express came out creepy and awkward. But I got my confidence back little by little. Now I'm back to square one and started my awkwardness and childish clumsiness. But I'm kind of two faced with my emotions so I sometimes can't undersa d them nor at times want to