Hello Everyone!

[RajahThePoet]

You can call me Rajah. My government name has never fit me. I come here to join you because I have come to admit that I may be OCD and have panic attacks as a result of anxiety and stress. I have noticed that since I got married it has gotten worse. I never noticed it much before. I am a creative person, I have a college degree in my passion. I love beauty, art, music, and freedom. I sometimes wish I had a single confidant that I could tell everything to. My own spouse at times does not understand what I deal with and it becomes frustrating for her. She is a good woman but alas her depth of ability to understand what it feels like to be me just isn't there. So I come here hoping to find others to talk to so I can take the burden off of her and find some peace for myself. I want to be happy I truly do, but I always seem to see everything in my life as negative and depressing because I'm not where I want to be yet. My dad always told me that I am stealing my own joy. I don't know how to not do that. I love laughing and being happy but that overwhelming feeling of " oh God what will go wrong today?" is always there. I also feel like I am a control freak, I am a virgo after all, but I know that cant be all to blame on that. Some days its like every little thing annoys me and I find myself yelling and being rude or mean to people around me just because something goes wrong in my day and I can;t let go of it. I just drag it out and drag everyone down with me. I know that is not who I am and I really need some help and advice on how to be free of these issues. Please reach out to me. Whatever any of you can offer in words or friendship I will be grateful for. I have never had many friends because of how unique and different I am. I have always been a lone wolf... Thank you for your help..

 

[triceps]

Hi and welcome Rajah. Can I ask what country you are from? Am sorry to hear the effect your anxiety is having on your personality. It's so common for those of us with anxiety disorders to be control freaks as we feel like we are out of control many of our waking hours. This is a good place, this forum. There are many people with the same problems you have here and understand what you are going through. Again, welcome.

 

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. As a rule the first steps would be to see a doctor and then some therapy. But this can differ country to country. Hence in the post above your country was asked about. So we might learn if such things are available to you? To talk to a professional who might help you understand what is going on with you. Give you the right kind of help so that you may start to feel somewhat better again. When you mention the part about your government name it makes me wonder how people view mental illness in your country? We don't have government names. Not sure if your country is strict about certain things. Obviously not the internet because you have joined this forum. Which is a good thing. We all suffer from one thing or another. So we understand what others are going through.

 

[Trying123]

Hello and welcome to the forum.