CrystalDragon
New Member
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2017
- Messages
- 4
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How is everyone today? I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a short introduction or a long one, so if my post is excessive, I apologize.
So, I've been suffering from anxiety for quite a few years. I got advice from family that I should try joining a community and talk with other people who suffer from anxiety as well, so here I am.
I feel like everything started in high school, where I started to have this obsession over my health. I took a biology class for my science credit, and... let's just say I wish I took physics instead. Once we reached the unit on bacteria, viruses and cancer, there was no turning back for me. What first started as a fear of HIV eventually turned to constantly checking to see if I was dying from cancer (even though many cancers do not run in my family). I know why I was so focused on whether I was dying from cancer or not. High school was where I realized I have a creative spirit, and I wanted to make things to show the world. I guess I was so scared of dying before I could create anything, that I had to make sure I was going to be fine. And I still think like this. I still want to create things. I love drawing and I love writing. I'm just so scared I'll pass on before I can make any of the things I have planned.
Anyways, at the beginning of college I got worried about everything. I worried about my health, what people thought about me, to even questioning my life choices. I even started to worry about making a simple post on my forums because I was afraid I made a spelling or grammar error, or even saying something extremely silly. I feared that if I had made a dumb mistake, it would haunt me later. It got so bad that after every post I felt like I needed to throw up because I worried that my post was dumb.
For years now, I've been trying to cope on my own. For a while I seemed to be doing alright because I picked up the slack in my final years of college, and dedicated so much of my time into my projects that I had no time to worry about anything... But now that I'm graduated my worries are creeping up on me again. Lately, I've been staying up at night looking up symptoms because I'm afraid I have a terrible disease or cancer. I can't leave the house without worrying about someone breaking in or the place catching on fire because I have very important stuff in my house. I can't go to work without worrying that my manager is tired of me. I still can't make a simple post without feeling like I'm making so many mistakes in my post. Even as I'm writing this, I'm worried I sound incredibly foolish.
Anyways, this is my story. Again, I apologize if it's too long or if my writing is inconsistent.
So, I've been suffering from anxiety for quite a few years. I got advice from family that I should try joining a community and talk with other people who suffer from anxiety as well, so here I am.
I feel like everything started in high school, where I started to have this obsession over my health. I took a biology class for my science credit, and... let's just say I wish I took physics instead. Once we reached the unit on bacteria, viruses and cancer, there was no turning back for me. What first started as a fear of HIV eventually turned to constantly checking to see if I was dying from cancer (even though many cancers do not run in my family). I know why I was so focused on whether I was dying from cancer or not. High school was where I realized I have a creative spirit, and I wanted to make things to show the world. I guess I was so scared of dying before I could create anything, that I had to make sure I was going to be fine. And I still think like this. I still want to create things. I love drawing and I love writing. I'm just so scared I'll pass on before I can make any of the things I have planned.
Anyways, at the beginning of college I got worried about everything. I worried about my health, what people thought about me, to even questioning my life choices. I even started to worry about making a simple post on my forums because I was afraid I made a spelling or grammar error, or even saying something extremely silly. I feared that if I had made a dumb mistake, it would haunt me later. It got so bad that after every post I felt like I needed to throw up because I worried that my post was dumb.
For years now, I've been trying to cope on my own. For a while I seemed to be doing alright because I picked up the slack in my final years of college, and dedicated so much of my time into my projects that I had no time to worry about anything... But now that I'm graduated my worries are creeping up on me again. Lately, I've been staying up at night looking up symptoms because I'm afraid I have a terrible disease or cancer. I can't leave the house without worrying about someone breaking in or the place catching on fire because I have very important stuff in my house. I can't go to work without worrying that my manager is tired of me. I still can't make a simple post without feeling like I'm making so many mistakes in my post. Even as I'm writing this, I'm worried I sound incredibly foolish.
Anyways, this is my story. Again, I apologize if it's too long or if my writing is inconsistent.
Now you have joined us here, you no longer have to feel that you are alone. You have us and you can come and talk with us anytime. We don't care if you write long posts or short posts. We won't judge your spelling or sentence structure. We won't judge you.
