having a hard time

[TruthHurts]

I went to see my granny in the hospital and she has really declined in the last 2 days. Today when I saw her vitals her oxygen was 82. I know she's dying but this really set me off I almost had a major anxiety attack over it. I get so angry at myself for this. I'm like why do I allow this to happen? I always seem to think I'm going to end up freaking out and having a heart attack or stroke. I just wish I could get over this fear. Any thoughts, prayers etc would be appreciated thanks. I'm still trying to calm down.

 

[bin_tenn]

Sorry to hear about your granny. I know how anxiety provoking those situations can be. I don't really have any advice beyond trying to keep calm and enjoy your time with her when possible. I hope you feel well soon.

 

[ThankfulJen]

My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you and I know exactly how you feel. My grandma was 59 when she passed from brain tumors. She and I were extremely close. My anxiety was off the charts. My pain was indescribable. I wish there were words that I could say that would magically make you feel better. What I can say is spend as much time near her as possible. Love on her. Hold her hand. Kiss her face. You will get through this. It is terrible. But you will get through. I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I am holding you and her close in my heart.

 

[TruthHurts]

My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you and I know exactly how you feel. My grandma was 59 when she passed from brain tumors. She and I were extremely close. My anxiety was off the charts. My pain was indescribable. I wish there were words that I could say that would magically make you feel better. What I can say is spend as much time near her as possible. Love on her. Hold her hand. Kiss her face. You will get through this. It is terrible. But you will get through. I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I am holding you and her close in my heart.

I got a smile out of her today I said I am here to scratch your itches for you so let me know if you get any. She smiled, she's been really out of it for the last 2 days. She told me itch, itch the other day so I scratched her head for her. It pisses me off that I let my own worries get the best of me.

 

[james81]

Hello...I am new here...James...81 years old....I am so so sorry about granny...I cannot help granny...But you still can...for as much time as she has....By helping granny ...you willl also be helping yourself get out of this terrible anxiety attack...and by getting out of this anxiety attack... you will be better able to help granny...And yes,,, I shall pray...for granny ...and for you

 

[TruthHurts]

Hello...I am new here...James...81 years old....I am so so sorry about granny...I cannot help granny...But you still can...for as much time as she has....By helping granny ...you willl also be helping yourself get out of this terrible anxiety attack...and by getting out of this anxiety attack... you will be better able to help granny...And yes,,, I shall pray...for granny ...and for you

Thanks for the response and welcome to the community James. Yes, I have been spending time with her and telling her stuff to try to make this easier on her and letting her know that she is loved and will be missed and thought of often. I was telling her funny stories about stuff we've done one time I got her to try jelly fish. I tried it first it was terrible but I played it off when she took a bite the face she made was priceless. I reminded her about that and she said that was horrible. It made her smile and I laughed also. I will miss her but I'll be glad when she is pain free and with the lord. Keep sending prays my way thank you.

 

[ThankfulJen]

I got a smile out of her today I said I am here to scratch your itches for you so let me know if you get any. She smiled, she's been really out of it for the last 2 days. She told me itch, itch the other day so I scratched her head for her. It pisses me off that I let my own worries get the best of me.

That is so precious. Moments like those are so very important. You will carry them with you always. They will make you laugh and they will make you cry. But they will always count

 

[TruthHurts]

That is so precious. Moments like those are so very important. You will carry them with you always. They will make you laugh and they will make you cry. But they will always count

She got a tattoo with me, went to wrestling events, we tried escargot together and all kinds of other exotic foods she "is" my pal.

 

[ThankfulJen]

Sounds like she is a very special woman.

 

[Anna70]

So sorry about your grandmother. just keep being with her; you’re doing great! Prayers tor you and for your grandmother. HUGS!!

 

[Fraser]

I’m really sorry to hear about this. Remember that anxiety is a normal thing to experience in a situation like this. The goal of reducing our anxiety is not to become an unfeeling rock, but to live normal lives. Grief at the passing of a loved one is normal and it is okay to be very upset during this experience.

 

[Cuchculan]

She is hanging on in there still. True fighter. Easy to tell a person to try and stay strong. But this is a person you love. A person who loves you. As humans we all have emotions. Can be best to let those emotions out at times. Not saying to do it in front of your Gran. Just don't think you have to hold everything in. They can be hard situations for anybody. I remember my own grandfather. He done good. They gave him a week to live and he lasted close on 10 years. I remember telling him how well he looked. Just trying to make some of talk. His answer was ' who the F are you kidding '. Then he just started laughing. So just be yourself. Express how you are feeling.

 

[TruthHurts]

I'm having a hard time shaking the anxiety maybe because I haven't eaten anything except for a yogurt today. I hate this feeling then I start worrying about my blood pressure going up and stroke, heart attack fears come into mind.

 

[Cuchculan]

You are simply under a lot of stress. Might be hard to eat with all that is going on. But just do your best to get something into your body.

 

[Fraser]

I'm having a hard time shaking the anxiety maybe because I haven't eaten anything except for a yogurt today. I hate this feeling then I start worrying about my blood pressure going up and stroke, heart attack fears come into mind.

What coping/defense mechanisms do you have in place for fighting those thoughts? Anything that has been helpful in the past?

On another note, I've gone for a week without being able to eat solid food due to anxiety in the past. Now, if I get like that, I choke something down. Your body needs to eat, despite what your anxiety says. Try light stuff like lightly buttered toast to start.

 

[TruthHurts]

What coping/defense mechanisms do you have in place for fighting those thoughts? Anything that has been helpful in the past?

On another note, I've gone for a week without being able to eat solid food due to anxiety in the past. Now, if I get like that, I choke something down. Your body needs to eat, despite what your anxiety says. Try light stuff like lightly buttered toast to start.

As of yesterday my coping/defense mechanisms went out the door that's why I leaned towards you guys for help. I hit the restart button over night and I'm hoping today is a better day. I just have to try to keep my thoughts in check.

 

[Fraser]

As of yesterday my coping/defense mechanisms went out the door that's why I leaned towards you guys for help. I hit the restart button over night and I'm hoping today is a better day. I just have to try to keep my thoughts in check.

Sometimes that can happen. As anyone who has quit drinking knows, when you fall down, you get back up again. It's normal to be side swept by things like this, so don't be hard on yourself.

 

[Watermelon]

Sorry to hear about your granny. It’s an extremely tough time for you, you have a lot of stress and worry which in turn triggers your anxiety. Your going to have a tough time ahead due to a pretty sad situation so my thought and prays are with you and your family. You will get through this

 

[TruthHurts]

She passed in the early hours of this morning, I know she is at peace now so hopefully I can heal.
Lord God,
you are attnetive to the voice
of our pleading.
Let us find in your Son
comfort in our sadness,
certainty in our doubt,
and courage to live through this hour.
Make our faith strong
through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

 

[Fraser]

Sorry for your loss. It sounds like your grandmother lived a good life; your love for her is evidence of this. One thing that helps me when someone dies is to remember, as you've said, that they do not suffer the loss of their own life; they are at peace. So in a way, it's not them I'm mourning for, it's me and what I have lost that is making me sad.