Have you made any progress with accepting your own mortality?

[Fraser]

If so, how? I am particularly interested in non-theistic/non-afterlife approaches as the idea of an afterlife or heaven seems like not accepting your mortality, since your immortal soul will live forever. I'm not saying that isn't true, or that you shouldn't believe it, but it's just unlikely to be a path that works for me.

I've been getting more and more into a radical acceptance of the impermanence of all things, including myself. It's comforting to understand that all things will end and that my own death is no great tragedy or loss; it's just the inevitable conclusion to any system. All systems tend toward disorder! Buddhism and the 2nd law of thermal dynamics agree on that point.

 

[Sweet T]

I think of death often. Everyday. I am a deist. I try not to get caught up in all of that. We will all die. Accepting it or not doesn’t change that.
Maybe this is it or maybe there is something after this but to my mind, you don’t know until it’s too late.

I do appreciate the Buddhist tenant of acceptance and surrender. You can enjoy the beauty of a vase now for example knowing it will be one day break. Further, knowing its fragile nature makes us want to appreciate it all the more.

Love and kindness is really our only legacy.

 

[bin_tenn]

If so, how? I am particularly interested in non-theistic/non-afterlife approaches as the idea of an afterlife or heaven seems like not accepting your mortality, since your immortal soul will live forever. I'm not saying that isn't true, or that you shouldn't believe it, but it's just unlikely to be a path that works for me.

I've been getting more and more into a radical acceptance of the impermanence of all things, including myself. It's comforting to understand that all things will end and that my own death is no great tragedy or loss; it's just the inevitable conclusion to any system. All systems tend toward disorder! Buddhism and the 2nd law of thermal dynamics agree on that point.

I'm with you. Radical acceptance, particularly of impermanence as it's practiced in Buddhism, has helped me greatly. I'm a former (pre-2015 or so) person of faith, since then I've been an atheist. I just accept that this is my one shot at life, and I'm going to make it count. For me, for my friends, for my family - for anyone I ever encounter, whether once or every day.

Having known so many of my friends and acquaintances to die at a young age has also pushed me to this acceptance. While I hate that they didn't get to live a full, long life, I see that life goes on regardless. The death of a person can indeed shake up the world / life for those they affected - good or bad - but the death ultimately changes nothing. They were, and now they're not, simple as that.

 

[Fraser]

Love and kindness is really our only legacy.

I wish I had realized this a long time ago, but coming to it now I hope to embody it more in my life. My relationship with my dog, who died recently, taught me more about that than just about anything else that has ever happened to me.

 

[Cuchculan]

Someone once said that life after death was true. It just doesn't involve you. Which was a line that made me smile. As it twisted the whole serious topic of life after death on its head. I do agree with it. Life will go on. Without us as part of it.

I recall a book I once read. When talking about us in life it mentioned a very big beach. It said imagine a tiny grain of sand on that very big beach. We are that tiny grain of sand in life. In other words you have all those other tiny grains of sands too. I took it to mean that life is much bigger than just us. We are just a tiny part of life. We live, we die. What we do in between life and death is up to us.

Some cultures teach their young about death from an early age. By way of saying ' it happens, get used to it '. If you look at other cultures it can be the big avoided subject. One that nobody wants to talk about. But if you have a large circle of friends, for example, chances are you will know somebody who has died by the time you are 20. I am in my 50's now and have had a number of friends die at this stage. I know a lot of people. So it is not out of the ordinary that those people have died. Simply a part of life.

You take people you know who have died. Does life change in any way at all? Simple answer would be ' NO '. We might feel sad that they died. But life simply carries on. Without them in it. That is out of our control. That is a key thing to accept. A lot of things are out of our control. We can't change what has happened. All just a part of life.

 

[bigjetplane2]

I'm with you. Radical acceptance, particularly of impermanence as it's practiced in Buddhism, has helped me greatly. I'm a former (pre-2015 or so) person of faith, since then I've been an atheist. I just accept that this is my one shot at life, and I'm going to make it count. For me, for my friends, for my family - for anyone I ever encounter, whether once or every day.

Having known so many of my friends and acquaintances to die at a young age has also pushed me to this acceptance. While I hate that they didn't get to live a full, long life, I see that life goes on regardless. The death of a person can indeed shake up the world / life for those they affected - good or bad - but the death ultimately changes nothing. They were, and now they're not, simple as that.

Off topic and very respectful question, what made you become an atheist?

 

[Jonathan123]

After many years of a happy marriage my wife died over three years ago. I must admit my faith was badly shaken because it was not a happy ending. But, 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in thy philosophy. Horatio'. Shakespeare had it right. The human mind is finite. In death we are talking about infinity. Infinity is almost impossible to grasp by humans. There is that indefinable something in mankind, call it what you like, spirit, soul that evades description. Most therapies to day concentrate on mind and body, but I believe there is more to it than that. How do we explain love and compassion and empathy? If there was only mind and body then none of those virtues would exist.

 

[bin_tenn]

Off topic and very respectful question, what made you become an atheist?

Nothing in particular. The whole thing (faith and a higher power) simply no longer made sense to me. I spent *A LOT* of time thinking about it before coming to this conclusion.

 

[E.B]

Nothing in particular. The whole thing (faith and a higher power) simply no longer made sense to me. I spent *A LOT* of time thinking about it before coming to this conclusion.

You seem like an intelligent person. May I suggest you look into apologetics.

 

[suzzeeb]

I'm not sure anyone can really be comfortable with their mortality. I am a Christian and do believe in heaven, but I'm not sure that makes the idea of death acceptable really. I guess I feel like whether we are comfortable with it or not it is going to happen to everyone. I have hope that there is more after this life, so that's comforting, but I think as humans it's hard to imagine not being here.

Everyone has their own beliefs. I just can't for one minute believe everything on this earth came to be without someone creating it. It's way too complex and everything works perfectly together. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. I guess we will all know for sure some day.

 

[bin_tenn]

You seem like an intelligent person. May I suggest you look into apologetics.

I can read up on it. What do you believe I may gain from it?

 

[Cuchculan]

I do feel that everybody needs something to believe in. That is not me telling everybody to believe in a God. That is me simply saying we need to believe in something. Or else there is a void within us. Does it matter what you believe in? No. i think as humans we all strive for answers. Some find them by way of religion. Others find them by way of other things. I have heard people say they believe in nothing at all. A statement I find hard to believe. In this thread we have Bin, who says he is an atheist. Buddhism would be acceptable to an atheist. Because Buddhism is not exactly a religion. So he still believes in a little something. I too have read many books on Buddhism. I found them all very interesting. Always learned from them. But I have read books from many other cultures too and also learned a lot from them too. It is a wise to have an open mind. To be willing to explore what is out there. I know this thread more or less began about death. In the various things you can read, you do so for comfort. Instead of just going through life with the thought of a death at the end of it and that is it. Lights out. Nothing more. Death is probably the one thing you can't close your eyes and try to imagine. Because you have never died before. So you have nothing to base you images on. You close your eyes you will probably see nothing but darkness. This would go for people who do believe in a God too. Death is just hard to imagine in the mind. I do call it the greatest mystery of life. Because we do all wonder what, if anything happens, after we do die. There is only way to find out for certain. And none of us are in a hurry to get that real answer. People who are not in religion and prayer and a God, I would simply say look around at the various cultures. Native American Indians are well worth reading up on. What they believe is just another thought process. That everything has life. From the hills to the tress. You can be reborn as any of these things. It does not have to be a human you come back as. In Buddhism the body means nothing to them at all. It is just a shell holding the soul. After they die the body is kept in a house for about 34 days. During which time the soul has time to leave the body. Then they take the body up some mountain and feed it to the vultures. With Catholics, we tend to go from the traditional graves. Just a place we can visit after a person dies. As if part of them will always be there. Yes there is heaven and hell. You can't have one without the other. Is like that fine balance of positive and negative. Ying and Yang. Black and white. Good and bad. Is anybody right? Is anybody wrong? Once something brings you the comfort you seek it is right for you.

 

[E.B]

I can read up on it. What do you believe I may gain from it?

As someone who is very analytical, apologetics answers a lot of the questions that are pondered about Christianity....proving, defending, etc...

 

[Cuchculan]

I always say that even a non believer believes in something. They believe God does not exist. That in itself is a belief.

 

[suzzeeb]

I think while people can find something that makes them feel good here and now, we need to be careful because here and now will not last forever and when that day comes, the truth is the only thing that will matter. The Bible clearly states there is one way to live eternally, and that is through believing in Jesus and his death for our sins. I just think we don't want to get it wrong. There is so much biblical prophecy that has already happened. The Bible pretty much describes what is happening around us now with lawlessness, weather changes, increasing violence, hate, etc. While those things have always been around, it's obvious they have gotten a lot worse even over the past few years.

We all have the right to believe whatever we want, of course, but I guess I'm saying don't rule out something because you don't understand it or it doesn't make sense to you, because as humans, God's ways will never really make sense to us on this side of heaven. In the Bible, God says "My ways are not your ways, and my thoughts are not your thoughts." We can't totally understand it all.

Ok- that's my 2 cents for the day!

 

[bin_tenn]

As someone who is very analytical, apologetics answers a lot of the questions that are pondered about Christianity....proving, defending, etc...

I've read all about that sort of thing. That was a factor in my decision to no longer believe.

 

[Phillies Phan]

You seem like an intelligent person. May I suggest you look into apologetics.

I think that would be fascinating to do, but in perhaps a spirited debate format, with both “sides” entering the discussion fully armed with their facts and arguments. I’d love to watch such an exchange. I used to listen to a show on radio called Religion on the Line. They would have a priest, a Protestant preacher, a rabbi and sometimes a Baptist minister. I listened with an open mind.

One doubt I have, and admittedly I am not Christian, is who knows for certain what Jesus’ motivation was? Perhaps indeed he was the son of God, and the Bible gets a good part of that right, even though we do not know who wrote what in the Bible. Or, and I mean no disrespect, was he a charlatan who took advantage of people’s obvious fear of dying and the despair of their difficult lives? After all, there was then and is today no way to prove or disprove God, heaven, etc.

Just food for thought that can never be answered, only faith that his intentions were good and holy.

 

[suzzeeb]

I think that would be fascinating to do, but in perhaps a spirited debate format, with both “sides” entering the discussion fully armed with their facts and arguments. I’d love to watch such an exchange. I used to listen to a show on radio called Religion on the Line. They would have a priest, a Protestant preacher, a rabbi and sometimes a Baptist minister. I listened with an open mind.

One doubt I have, and admittedly I am not Christian, is who knows for certain what Jesus’ motivation was? Perhaps indeed he was the son of God, and the Bible gets a good part of that right, even though we do not know who wrote what in the Bible. Or, and I mean no disrespect, was he a charlatan who took advantage of people’s obvious fear of dying and the despair of their difficult lives? After all, there was then and is today no way to prove or disprove God, heaven, etc.

Just food for thought that can never be answered, only faith that his intentions were good and holy.

There were many witnesses to the miracles he performed, his death and resurrection, but yes, there is no absolute proof for us today. I guess that's where faith comes in. I think we have to get as much information as possible and maybe even ask God to show us if he is real, and then we have to decide for ourselves.

 

[bin_tenn]

I think that would be fascinating to do, but in perhaps a spirited debate format, with both “sides” entering the discussion fully armed with their facts and arguments. I’d love to watch such an exchange. I used to listen to a show on radio called Religion on the Line. They would have a priest, a Protestant preacher, a rabbi and sometimes a Baptist minister. I listened with an open mind.

One doubt I have, and admittedly I am not Christian, is who knows for certain what Jesus’ motivation was? Perhaps indeed he was the son of God, and the Bible gets a good part of that right, even though we do not know who wrote what in the Bible. Or, and I mean no disrespect, was he a charlatan who took advantage of people’s obvious fear of dying and the despair of their difficult lives? After all, there was then and is today no way to prove or disprove God, heaven, etc.

Just food for thought that can never be answered, only faith that his intentions were good and holy.

I personally don't care to debate it in any capacity. I don't wish to change anyone's mind, nor do I want someone to try and change mine. I believe what I believe about it, and that's it. Healthy debate is great, but this is one subject where most people (on both sides) are set in their ways, they present half-assed arguments, and they stick by them regardless of evidence of the contrary.

 

[kammie72]

I don’t want to get into religion or anything but I’m personally trying to come to peace with the inevitability of death as it would help with my anxiety. And, that life would go on for my kids if something were to happen to me so why waste time worrying scour what would that could look like? A therapist once said to me, “what if your kids went first? You’re worrying about yourself. You have no control over any of this.” It sounded harsh but it did jolt me into reality. I do believe in God and have faith and while I pray to live a long healthy life, who knows when my time will be up and I’m tired of living in fear of that.