Have you ever experienced someone who deeply insulted you making excuses disguising them as compliments?

[Strawberry Banana Sundae]

How do I cope with the fact that when I do well in online games, I only get insulted or called a cheater, but when others do well they on...

Answer (1 of 9): This may sound a bit trite, but you should honestly take it as a compliment. Think about it. If someone is accusing you of cheating, they think you are doing so incredibly well at the game that your skill level is defying their threshold for believability. By comparison, your fr...

www.quora.com

This is an example I have above and the responses that are in there as well. Case in point, I want to discuss about the problem regarding backhanded compliments. The first main problem is that when someone outright insults me, other people expect me to take it as a compliment or in other words “they only insult you because they think you’re so much better than they are”. How am I to know what they think? I’m not a mind reader!

Another problem with backhanded compliments is that when I call them out on what they said, they’ll tell me “well you thought of me as/called me X, so it’s fair!” and then will add that I “get over it”. And when I discuss these problems to others, they will tell me the same thing and then add “if it hurts you so much, then get off the internet and cut off the power!”. Seriously? Getting off the internet is not going to save me from having to tolerate personal trauma. Remember the phrase “guns don’t kill, people who use them do”? This is the same thing.

The biggest problem I have regarding backhanded compliments is that when I address these issues, I’m manipulated into believing that I’m being delusional, that my brain is just being distorted, that I’m only picking and choosing of what I want to interpret, how I only want to see the negatives and ignore the positives, all that bullshit. And what’s worse is that I’m expected to work happily with these assholes and be nice to them all while they treat me like crap. Clearly they don’t understand how my brain and body works.

These days I don’t tolerate these types of behaviors. They are nothing but emotionally invalidating. They are not in control of my life, and I cut contact with these kinds of people because I don’t deserve to be told how I should live my life. I’m starting to hold boundaries, and there are those who dare to disrespect them. I lose my trust in these people the more they push me around and when I put my foot down.

I don’t want to smile more or laugh more or be happy more. I need to have my negative emotions heard and respected.

anyways, what are your experiences, if any?