Grandma triggered my anxiety

[Grace360]

Go figure, of course she would.
Every time we leave the house almost she always says something like "i bet someone was in here" or "hey peaches(my cat), who knocked over your bowl? I bet someone was in here." As in came in and stole something. She said that when we all got back from an outing. Only a few hours. But that one comment has me not wanting to eat or drink. I don't wanna drink the water, what if they poisoned it. What if they tampered with my medication and I take them together and I die instantly. I don't wanna skip my medication again because I feel so so so terrible but like what if its poisoned. Rather feel terrible than get poisoned. I just don't know what to do. That fear of getting poisoned is so strong at this point. Especially with the trigger, and thinking back on why I had those fears in the first place.
Then I overanalyze every feeling. Like my stomach. It just felt an aching similar to gas, went away, but what if that was a symptom of poisoning. Everything I feel I think its poisoning.

 

[bin_tenn]

Are you in therapy? If not, I think that's the best next step. If you already are, perhaps talk to your therapist more about these fears.

 

[Grace360]

Are you in therapy? If not, I think that's the best next step. If you already are, perhaps talk to your therapist more about these fears.

No therapist yet. And I just had a very intense panic attack. Took some year old hydroxine because it was that bad. Still on edge so far.

 

[Cuchculan]

I agree with Bin. This thing you have about poison and dying in various other ways needs to treated the right way. It is a serious form of OCD. Something you won't ever get over unless you get the right kind of help. it will just continue on. It will make your life a living hell. To have to think like that all the time. There is help out there. It would be the right way forward if you really wanted to begin getting better.

 

[bin_tenn]

I agree with Bin. This thing you have about poison and dying in various other ways needs to treated the right way. It is a serious form of OCD. Something you won't ever get over unless you get the right kind of help. it will just continue on. It will make your life a living hell. To have to think like that all the time. There is help out there. It would be the right way forward if you really wanted to begin getting better.

Yep, exactly this. It isn't to sound dismissive, it's just straight to the point. I know how it feels to be that deep into anxiety, it used to be a problem for me practically every day. It's not the easiest thing to get out of. But it is possible, and it should be done sooner rather than later.