Gimme your best/worst joke

[Hurt&Hopeful]

I have seen several folks posting about struggling with winter, low temperatures, relationship struggles, feelings of depression, etc. I'm with you. So here's a little friendly competition. What's your best/worst joke? Keep it clean in order to follow the forum rules (or moderators will remove it). Dad jokes are welcome and encouraged.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

To start off, I have scoured the internet and found what I think is a truly terrible one:

A police officer says to a couple: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire".

They ask "Arson?", and the officer answers "Yes, your son".

(You're welcome.)

 

[Rosy]

lol okay that was funny. I liked it. Can't think of one myself right now. Someone out there must have one.

 

[Poolman68]

A blonde is speeding in her new convertible and gets pulled over, the officer approached the car and asked for her ID, the blonde looks puzzled and asks “what’s that”, the officer tells her “ you know, the little square thing with your picture on it”, the blonde smiles and digs thru her purse and pulls out a compact. The officer opens it up and looks at it, hands lt back to her and says “oh my gosh I didn’t know you were a cop too, have a nice day”. Sorry the only joke I can think of atm

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

A blonde is speeding in her new convertible and gets pulled over, the officer approached the car and asked for her ID, the blonde looks puzzled and asks “what’s that”, the officer tells her “ you know, the little square thing with your picture on it”, the blonde smiles and digs thru her purse and pulls out a compact. The officer opens it up and looks at it, hands lt back to her and says “oh my gosh I didn’t know you were a cop too, have a nice day”. Sorry the only joke I can think of atm

Nice. Truly horrible in the best way.

 

[Rosy]

lol Glad I'm not blonde. lol

 

[Kelculator]

I saw this one online---

What did a cell said to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

I saw this one online---

What did a cell said to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis.

A nerdy science joke! Love it!

 

[Cirqueme]

lol Glad I'm not blonde. lol

I am though lol

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

I am though lol

haha - well, he didn't mean it personally, right? Got any good brunette jokes? (I'm a brunette...)

 

[Cirqueme]

Nah, he didn't it's all gravy...I make jokes about my hair color all the time!!!

 

[Rosy]

I am though lol

Most of my family are blonde. Husband, all my grandchildren and greatgrandchildren, one of my children. Us brunettes are outnumbered. lol and they are all smarter than me.

 

[Rue]

what did the cell say when her sister cell stepped on her foot?
my toe, sis

why are guys sexier than girls?
you can't spell sexy without the xy

how are helicase similar to the f-boys in my school?
they both wanna unzip your jeans

i'm so sorry 9th grade biology has changed me too much

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Yesterday, I ate a clock....

It was a very time consuming....

Especially when I went back for seconds.