Getting this off my chest before I go to sleep

[Cheyworship]

I feel so lonely most of the time. I really enjoy most of my life and I think I’m very lucky. I’m generally very happy with school, my job, my family and everyone I know I’m real life. None of my issues are external, it’s my anxiety that is the center of my life. It’s absolutely debilitating, I have a bunch of different crazy and severe phobias (spiders, radiation, single-celled organisms, dying, becoming ill, demonic possession, loss of loved ones). On top of my chronic hypochondria. I’m constantly thinking about these things and even the mention of them can make me feel anxious. I feel like the only teenage girl on the entire planet who feels this way. Most people my age worry about exams or their friendships but I feel totally isolated, like I’m the only teen (or even person in general) who feels like this. I’ve been getting really depressed lately just based off of my constant fear and anxiety. I want to be like other girls my age so bad and stop being terrified about amoebas or dying in my sleep. Everyone around me seems so carefree, and I have such particular fears that are so chronic I have absolute no idea what to do about them. I feel like I’m going insane and nothing can help me. I just feel sad. I hate my brain, I just want a break from all the worry. I can’t stop it, I can’t change anything about it. I’m on medication, I’ve talked to so many counsellors, I’m just never going to be able to be well. which is such a bad feeling because I really enjoy life. The only thing stopping me from being happy is my own mind.

 

[cheer_mom]

I feel so lonely most of the time. I really enjoy most of my life and I think I’m very lucky. I’m generally very happy with school, my job, my family and everyone I know I’m real life. None of my issues are external, it’s my anxiety that is the center of my life. It’s absolutely debilitating, I have a bunch of different crazy and severe phobias (spiders, radiation, single-celled organisms, dying, becoming ill, demonic possession, loss of loved ones). On top of my chronic hypochondria. I’m constantly thinking about these things and even the mention of them can make me feel anxious. I feel like the only teenage girl on the entire planet who feels this way. Most people my age worry about exams or their friendships but I feel totally isolated, like I’m the only teen (or even person in general) who feels like this. I’ve been getting really depressed lately just based off of my constant fear and anxiety. I want to be like other girls my age so bad and stop being terrified about amoebas or dying in my sleep. Everyone around me seems so carefree, and I have such particular fears that are so chronic I have absolute no idea what to do about them. I feel like I’m going insane and nothing can help me. I just feel sad. I hate my brain, I just want a break from all the worry. I can’t stop it, I can’t change anything about it. I’m on medication, I’ve talked to so many counsellors, I’m just never going to be able to be well. which is such a bad feeling because I really enjoy life. The only thing stopping me from being happy is my own mind.

Maybe you need to try a different medicine. I did CBT therapy. It helped with my constant fear of someone dying.

 

[LotusTree]

Hugs to you and welcome.
Try hanging around here for awhile; there are a lot of wise folk who may have some answers for you.
myself I’m still struggling but this forum has made me feel not so alone with this issue.
i’ve heard from a lot of people on here that CBT seems to be quite helpful.

 

[Sweet T]

Does your family know you are still suffering with anxiety? Please go back to a doctor. Tell them your meds aren’t working. You don’t have to suffer. There is treatment.

Many young people suffer with anxiety and depression. Even more now with the Covid situation. The coping skills you’ll learn in therapy will help you your whole life.

Best of luck. Be kind to yourself. You are special.