Getting The Wrong Idea

[janemariesayed]

So having had the problems in my life I always tend to think that when someone blocks me on Facebook that it is about me. Twice now I've thought that it was because of me. But it has turned out that each time, with different people it was their issue and nothing to do with me at all.

Yesterday I noticed that my big brother/uncle has blocked me and I thought it was because he had decided to block just me. So I took it personally. Even though I couldn't think of a valid reason for him to block me, I still took it personally.

I cried my eyes out and drank loads of booze and cried myself to sleep on the couch with my pup beside me. I sent my mum a message on Facebook telling her maybe everyone hates me and that I wished I was dead.

This morning she has replied to me and said that he has closed his account, and it isn't just me. So I was silly to think it was about me.

Now I learn to think first before jumping to conclusions. I hope he is okay and I send him all the love in the world and hope he feels better soon.

 

[LEG]

I have similar "knee-jerk" reactions to situations like that. Feel like I am bothering people etc. I have no self-confidence, self-love, or worse self-compassion.

 

[Twinkie Moon]

Sometimes I act the same way. I get very panicky and start to blame myself when my friend doesn't text me for hours when in reality she's just taking a nap. Or I think she's dead.

But that's good you're learning to not to make quick assumptions! It's as if our mind is teasing us with these things. One less thing to be anxious about, that's for sure!

Lots of love going your way!

 

[janemariesayed]

Thank you both! I got so depressed I cried myself to sleep. I realise though, that my mum is really quite an understanding lady. I just hope that he is okay.

 

[Johannes]

I am happy that you have learned the truth of the situation, which was that he simply closed his account. There are many situations where the truth is never revealed, and people remain blaming themselves and feeling bad about it. With depression (I was one a few years ago), we often think we personally are the cause of something. This essentially means we think we are the center of everything (kind of egotistical isn't it!?). But we are not. We are doubting our self way too much because of our weak self image. I hope this situation gave you more motivation to work on your self image and self belief. Let us know how this is going!

 

[Kaynil]

I have to consciously fend off this kind of thoughts. For the most part I am better than what I used to be but it is fairly easy to get to me.

Just a few weeks ago I had a friend with who I can call and talk for hours, this friend has been a huge support for me just in this year and we pretty much enjoy each other's talks. But one afternoon she told me she wasn't feeling alright, so I offered if she wanted to talk about it, she said she rather not. It was the first time she had declined to me, so just like you I bawled my eyes out because I thought that putting two and two together maybe I did something that hurt her and that is why she didn't want to talk with me about it. She kept saying she'd feel better soon and that didn't help alleviate my thoughts at all. I also know the paradox @Johannes mention of how egotistical of me to assume that's the case and that she wouldn't simply say it directly. So I didn't want to push her because I want her to feel okay with no talking to me if she doesn't want to but also I didn't want that if I could in anyway be the reason to let her go without telling her that I was sorry. So I decided to text it, just in case about that if by any chance it was something I said or did directly or indirectly that she could tell me because I didn't want to repeat the mistake if I could help it.

As you can guess, it turned out it was nothing big nor related to me. I just had jumped the gun because this friend has been so nice to me that I hate the idea of hurting in any way. I think the closer I am with someone the easier is for me to get carried away with knee-jerk reactions and fridge logic.