Friends that get it

[amy88]

One of my friends had a get together over the weekend, just a little lunch with a few of her friends. I didn't know a few of the people there, but my friend who invited me noticed I was getting anxious and made sure to sit right beside me.


It might not sound like much but to me those sort of helpful actions by friends make my anxiety lessen and help me feel like I can tackle a situation.


Do you have any friends who are aware of your anxiety and help you manage it better, or make you more comfortable in social situations?

 

[NormaD]

I have friends who always try to help me out when I am feeling particularly anxious, but the truth is, when I get like that I always prefer to be alone and whatever my friends try to do to help me just ends up making things worse for me. I need to be alone and use my own techiniques for calming myself.

 

[kelden]

Yeah. I got friend and family that were supportive and kind with my problem, I remember when they made stuffs for me to avoid putting me in an embarrassing situation. I still can't forgive myself for all the time I have lost, but what's already done can't be changed.

 

[Alex]

I've had some friends that get it mainly because they have been through it before. It can and does help especially when they offer to be on the other end of the phone when you need it, or stay in with you if you can't face going out.


It's a difficult topic to broach and I do hate to be a burden because that's how I feel, so even though they are supportive I try to limit how much I depend on others.

 

[Corzhens]

Actually in social affairs where you are not at home with most of the guests, the mere attention that the host gives you is more than enough encouragement to make you feel comfortable. Sometimes it is daunting to be with people in an affair particularly when the affair is out of my reach and most of the guests are wealthy people that are beyond my league. Feeling out of place is normal and if you cannot assure yourself then someone should do it for you. In the last family reunion where I don't know much of our relatives, the party host was always mentioning us in the microphone so at least I felt some ease because we are like being introduced from time to time so my relatives get to know me somehow.

 

[sidney]

I'm sure if I tell them my anxiety issues then they would understand, but if that situation were to come up and I don't know the majority of the people there then I would probably not go, lol. I prefer to socialize with people that I'm familiar with than with complete strangers.

 

[Sue]

I don't have a lot of close friends so I really don't have anybody who gets it. I am sure there are a few who would try to help if I asked but I am not one to ask anybody for help. I avoid situations like that for that reason. I don't want to feel like I am a burden to anybody. I am glad that you have a friend you can trust and who is so supportive. I envy you for that. I have just never been able to allow somebody to get that close to me.

 

[It'sJaz]

I used to have a friend who didn't quite understand but accepted it and didn't try to force me to do things I wasn't comfortable with, like social settings. It was great having someone look out for you. I'm also sensitive to loud noise and big crowds so whenever we encountered something like that, she would ask me if everything's okay and offer to take me outside if it was too overwhelming.


I think I've only come across one person like that though. No one else is so tolerant, and they don't understand why I don't like social events. Anyway, I won't usually tell anyone what I'm feeling because I prefer to keep those feelings to myself.

 

[Zeesi]

Well, I don't have many friends, so there's that, but when I find myself in a situation that's causing some stress, I usually will explain that to the person or people around me. I might explain that I need some water, or just a few minutes to calm down a bit.


When I was a kid, my family used to take me to all sorts of functions, parties etc. and I had to be in situations where I was not comfortable and did not yet have an understanding of what was going on with me, or what to do about it. Thank goodness those days are behind me.

 

[stephonline]

I also have friends who know about my situation and they have been so nice about it. They have held my hands and waiting outside with me. My boyfriend is also very supportive of me and I am so happy that I have such a supportive group of people around me.

 

[amy88]

I've had some friends that get it mainly because they have been through it before. It can and does help especially when they offer to be on the other end of the phone when you need it, or stay in with you if you can't face going out.
It's a difficult topic to broach and I do hate to be a burden because that's how I feel, so even though they are supportive I try to limit how much I depend on others.

It's funny you mention that because the friend in question that really notices my anxiety is someone who has battled it in the past, too. I think that's one of the things about anxiety - it's helped me be more empathetic of others and I think it has that impact on other people too.

 

[abonnen]

Yes, i have had a friend since I was in first grade (19 years) and she had been there and understanding through the whole time. She understand that sometime I am a hermit and its not that I don't like her its just that I want to be alone. She doesn't take my hermit and anxiety life personal, she is more then a friend she is like my sister.

 

[amy88]

I don't have a lot of close friends so I really don't have anybody who gets it. I am sure there are a few who would try to help if I asked but I am not one to ask anybody for help. I avoid situations like that for that reason. I don't want to feel like I am a burden to anybody. I am glad that you have a friend you can trust and who is so supportive. I envy you for that. I have just never been able to allow somebody to get that close to me.

It takes me a really long time to develop close friendships. I guess I would say in my case people have to be prepared to put in the effort on their end of things and be patient with me, because as a result of my anxiety I'm not the easiest person to get to know!