Forgot someone was home, dementia fears.

[Walking Circles]

Earlier my step father left for the store. He was gone a little bit then came back, when he got back he joked with me about how crazy it was due to Thanksgiving being this week. Then he disappeared into the back of the house to work on something or other, he was back there a good 15 or 20 minutes. When he came back down the hall into the main room I was surprised to see him and said, "when did you get here?"

Both he and my mother looked at me like I'd grown a second head and he reminded me that we'd joked briefly when he first got back. Of course it all came back to me on the spot but for a second I was genuinely confused and afraid.

I'm trying to be rational about it. He was only home maybe 2-3 minutes before he headed into the back and we spoke 1 sentence. Right after he walked out of the room I got busy making a sandwich and eating. My wife says she had forgot he was home as well, and only figured he was home because of some bags he left in the dining room, she was in the room with me when he first got there.

Anyone else every do this? The looks everyone gave me really, really upset me.

 

[Phillies Phan]

These things happen. A few months ago I was driving my son home from his work. At a given light I turn left to get off the main road towards our house. I was ready to miss it entirely until my son asked why I wasn’t slowing to make the turn. Then, after I made the turn I also missed the next right turn I needed to make! I was totally disoriented! Hasn’t happened again. I too was busy thing about something at the time, but still I do think on a regular basis when making turns! It’s just not being in the moment and focusing that I believe causes these moments.

 

[Gooze17]

Sometimes I will be driving my wife's car. Get home, not see her car in the driveway and wonder where she went. Forgetting I have her car

 

[sTeaLth]

Yes, I get this some times. Usually when tired, stressed, or multitasking. I once told my kids I’d see them after school as I was making my coffee to go and then take them. My wife was standing there in her bath robe and clearly not taking them. Freaked me out for a second but then I realized she always takes them and I had gone into auto pilot even as I prepared to leave with them.

 

[E.B]

Understand wanting reassurance, but as I've said it's not helping. If we all answered that we experience it every week it still wouldn't confirm anything for you.

 

[sTeaLth]

Understand wanting reassurance, but as I've said it's not helping. If we all answered that we experience it every week it still wouldn't confirm anything for you.

I do think it’s petty to require everyone to be where we may be with handling anxiety. I still enjoy hearing accounts from others who don’t fear what I do. It helps me realize it is fake and accept it as that. ‍

 

[E.B]

So I'm being petty? When people mention the same topic once a month wanting reassurance it shouldn't be noted that the reassurance isn't helping? Who says I'm not someone that deals with needing reassurance. I'm just stating posting a scenario often wanting reassurance doesn't help. Once maybe, twice possibly, but often over years time with the same worries isn't helping.

 

[sTeaLth]

So I'm being petty? When people mention the same topic once a month wanting reassurance it shouldn't be noted that the reassurance isn't helping? Who says I'm not someone that deals with needing reassurance. I'm just stating posting a scenario often wanting reassurance doesn't help. Once maybe, twice possibly, but often over years time with the same worries isn't helping.

But that is naturally what people come here for. Some will learn to deal with it and come less. Some may not. It took me years and I still have days when I need a person to tell me it’s my anxiety. That doesn’t mean I don’t know any better. Reassurance is ongoing and in my opinion will be lifelong as long as you have any anxiety. It helps the irrational fear realize the rational truth of the situation. It doesn’t mean it should be your go to and only solution, but it is natural for people to ask others for help and reassurance when they are scared or uncertain. I don’t like it when people tell them to stop. That’s all.

 

[Chrissyjo]

I forget stuff too. I work as a cleaner and I was rushing around looking for my mop. It was in my hand the whole time !!

 

[Jonathan123]

Of course this will happen because we are not being mindful in anxiety. Even when working we may have our minds on something else. We go into autopilot. Brushing our teeth in the morning is a good example. How many of us brush our teeth, full stop. No, we are wondering what to have for lunch and who we may meet or have to do. Mindfulness is living in the moment. Dementia can so often be confused with forgetfulness. When I was young I was a service engineer for a while and would often go back to my van for a part and forget why I did so. I still get memory problems, but that is more age than anything else.
I doubt if there is anyone who has not had memory problems. We are often far too busy to not be forgetful. Our minds are often overloaded with information.
Panicking when it happens does not help one bit because it can trigger so many more anxiety problems. OK, so we forget something. So what? Is it that important? Yes, of course it is to a stressed person, and I would not for one moment minimise it's impact on our anxiety. But, once again, adding fear to fear creates that old spiral, fear/anxiety/fear.