First time posting on a forum like this...

[AquaMadoor]

...I'm 37 and never really had any serious health problems. I have always had a bit of health anxiety though. I would go to the doctor with a headache and swear it was a brain tumor, he would diagnose me with a sinus infection and give me antibiotics and all would be well. I could deal with the diagnosis and go on with life.

Recently though, my ability to shake off anything wrong with my body has become impossible. I admit to falling into the "Dr. Google" trap and diagnosing myself with the most debilitating and lethal illnesses from what I read online. I especially seem to have developed carcinophobia to the point where my fear of cancer is debilitating.

Three years ago, my father and aunt died of cancer (lung and pancreatic respectively) within 11 days of each other. I don't have much family, just my mother and brother, and we dealt with the illness and aftermath all by ourselves. I look at this as a likely reason I'm so terrified of cancer, as I worry about the toll it will take on what's left of my family and being a burden of more cancer treatment.

My most recent health drama is a fear of oral cancer after dealing with recurring ear and jaw discomfort. I finally sucked it up and saw a very good dentist who diagnosed me with jaw misalignment. I mentioned my fear of cancer. The hygienist did an oral check for lumps and bumps which turned up nothing. I flat out asked the dentist and he reassured me he saw no signs of oral cancer.

The day after my exam I noticed a lump in my mouth and I'm a nervous wreck they missed the cancer, because I don't fit the profile of common cases (female, non smoker, etc). I'm afraid to go back and ask for a check for fear I'll be seen as nutty.

Having health anxiety is bad enough, but coupled with the inability to trust a medical professional makes it even worse, as there's no relief, only more questions and fear. There are a lot of stories (on Google!) about misdiagnosed cases, and that's yet another fear.

I know I need help, but it's hard to take that first step. If anyone here has any advice, I would love to hear your story.

I would like to thank anyone who read my story, and wish you all the best.

 

[KittyKat]

Hi AquaM

Although I don't have specific health related anxiety, I relate to the death fear aspect. I am terrified of dying and a lot of my anxiety revolves around this. Thinking I could just drop dead any minute. I can't stand the thought of my consciousness ending and 'the nothing'. I've had a bad day today which is why I'm here now. I hope you have had some relief by the time you see this and I'm hoping for some myself after a nights sleep.

 

[Rinka]

...I'm 37 and never really had any serious health problems. I have always had a bit of health anxiety though. I would go to the doctor with a headache and swear it was a brain tumor, he would diagnose me with a sinus infection and give me antibiotics and all would be well. I could deal with the diagnosis and go on with life.

Recently though, my ability to shake off anything wrong with my body has become impossible. I admit to falling into the "Dr. Google" trap and diagnosing myself with the most debilitating and lethal illnesses from what I read online. I especially seem to have developed carcinophobia to the point where my fear of cancer is debilitating.

Three years ago, my father and aunt died of cancer (lung and pancreatic respectively) within 11 days of each other. I don't have much family, just my mother and brother, and we dealt with the illness and aftermath all by ourselves. I look at this as a likely reason I'm so terrified of cancer, as I worry about the toll it will take on what's left of my family and being a burden of more cancer treatment.

My most recent health drama is a fear of oral cancer after dealing with recurring ear and jaw discomfort. I finally sucked it up and saw a very good dentist who diagnosed me with jaw misalignment. I mentioned my fear of cancer. The hygienist did an oral check for lumps and bumps which turned up nothing. I flat out asked the dentist and he reassured me he saw no signs of oral cancer.

The day after my exam I noticed a lump in my mouth and I'm a nervous wreck they missed the cancer, because I don't fit the profile of common cases (female, non smoker, etc). I'm afraid to go back and ask for a check for fear I'll be seen as nutty.

Having health anxiety is bad enough, but coupled with the inability to trust a medical professional makes it even worse, as there's no relief, only more questions and fear. There are a lot of stories (on Google!) about misdiagnosed cases, and that's yet another fear.

I know I need help, but it's hard to take that first step. If anyone here has any advice, I would love to hear your story.

I would like to thank anyone who read my story, and wish you all the best.

Welcome to the forum I hope you will like it here.
Health anxiety is a nasty little thing. Because it plays with your logic and with your health. There always seem to be two possibilities, one you ignore the symptoms and your anxiety tells you that you will die because you didn’t go to a doc to get treatment. 2 you go to a doctor and they diagnose that you will die within the next few days so you don’t go. Oh now that I think about it there is a 3rd option, you go to your doc they tell you that you are healthy and fine, but your anxiety tells you that you can’t trust the doc because they make too many mistakes and you are out of the usual anyway, so dying it is again.
It’s a devils circle really. I tend to imagine my funeral or loosing my hair.
I suppose all of us who suffer from health anxiety have those experiences.

 

[scharley1973]

hi aquam..i just joined this support "forum" tonight. kinda skeptical...never done this before but i read your story and you kinda remind me of you. and dr. google is RIGHT! ya know, ive been living with panic disorder and generalized anxiety since i was 20, im 46 can i tell you it gets better? NO. im wanting to tell my story to everyone of how after26 years it gets worse. and maybe give some advise to people that i have learned over the years suffering with this. if youd like to talk more...id love to hear from you. even tho ive lived with it half my life doesnt mean i cant learn new things from people that struggle with this miserable disorder too. S

 

[AquaMadoor]

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I always feel a bit relieved to see there's so many people feeling this way. If I can help in any way, let me know.

My recent drama after sucking it up and going to see my GP twice with some recurring tonsil infections now has me freaking out that the reason the infection won't clear is because it's cancer, and I'm literally sick over it. Again, can't take the GP at his words, always afraid there's a mistake, and hence, no relief from the symptoms. It's left me beaten down and quite miserable.

 

[CC83]

Hi AquaM

Although I don't have specific health related anxiety, I relate to the death fear aspect. I am terrified of dying and a lot of my anxiety revolves around this. Thinking I could just drop dead any minute. I can't stand the thought of my consciousness ending and 'the nothing'. I've had a bad day today which is why I'm here now. I hope you have had some relief by the time you see this and I'm hoping for some myself after a nights sleep.

I have the exact same fears! It's so irrational.

 

[CC83]

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I always feel a bit relieved to see there's so many people feeling this way. If I can help in any way, let me know.

My recent drama after sucking it up and going to see my GP twice with some recurring tonsil infections now has me freaking out that the reason the infection won't clear is because it's cancer, and I'm literally sick over it. Again, can't take the GP at his words, always afraid there's a mistake, and hence, no relief from the symptoms. It's left me beaten down and quite miserable.

Same. I am ok for a few days or weeks after the doctor tells me nothing is wrong. Then I feel this or that symptom and boom. What if he missed something. This has been going on for five years now. I pray everyday for it to go away. I pray for everyone else who has this awful anxiety as well. Hang in there and rest assured you are fine. It is your brain playing tricks on you.