Feeling so depressed

[XmasCarol52]

I do not know what is wrong with me but the past couple of days I have felt very depressed I have no desire to do anything not even go outside.I did yesterday for about a hour but I couldn't stand being out there and today I was just so depressed and exhausted.I feel so week it was a pretty nice day out but no sun I dont know maybe that has something to do with it,but even after the sun did peak through it was like I just had no thoughts of going outdoors.I cannot explain why I feel this way.Has anyone ever felt depressed and they dont know why???No matter what I seem to try to do the last couple of days I have no interest in anything.I just feel like I am not long for this world.I feel like such a failure,like why am i even here my depression has been really bad the last couple of days.I just dont know what to do I have no drive at all.

 

[Concernedgal]

Yes I do know how you feel. This week I have felt very depressed and I have no interest in the sun or even getting g out of bed. But, as you know that is the very symptoms of bipolar depression like I might you but, it definitely sounds like you have. Chin up sweetie. It will pass and the way I feel... will also pass. Although it feels pretty crappy while you do feel this way. I've had a couple if anxiety attacks these last couple of days so i'm also afraid of certain activities again but, I get through it because.... well... I have to, I just do. And I know that you can stay strongand get through this too. Big hugs. HUG.

 

[janemariesayed]

I think that when we are depressed we are depressed. There may be some good days, or even some good weeks, but there are times when we feel very low. I think it is already part of your illness Carol and it will pass like concerned gal says.

Has anything happened in the last few days to trigger this feeling off? Perhaps what happened around mothers day made you feel low. We can often not realise the trigger and think it is something else.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I was thinking a lot about my late husband and grandmother They both meant so much to me.You know when my grandma was alive I was the only who cared about her i would take her shopping out to dinner,my husband and i would take her to a horror movie even if she didn't like the movie she just loved being with <We would have her over for dinner about once a month those were such good times hey we eve n had his aunt over for dinner to,We would have such a good time.Those memories are good ones i guess part of it is because i feel lonely,However I do know when i come here I dont have to feel lonely at all,Still it gets to me sometimes and damn it I miss my two grand childern>Also I said screw it I went outside for about an hour just to get the hell out of my apt it was for a little over an hour,I actually felt better for a little while but when i got back inside i just felt like crying,When my grandma was alive she would have trouble breathing the nurses would just brush her aside and tell her to go back into her room I was so mad,then come to find out about a month later she passed away m her daughters arms because she couldnt breathe,I am wondering if she might have been having panic attacks,

 

[XmasCarol52]

Yes I do know how you feel. This week I have felt very depressed and I have no interest in the sun or even getting g out of bed. But, as you know that is the very symptoms of bipolar depression like I might you but, it definitely sounds like you have. Chin up sweetie. It will pass and the way I feel... will also pass. Although it feels pretty crappy while you do feel this way. I've had a couple if anxiety attacks these last couple of days so i'm also afraid of certain activities again but, I get through it because.... well... I have to, I just do. And I know that you can stay strongand get through this too. Big hugs. HUG.

I have been told by many people that I am a strong and brave woman I dont see it,but someone does,Like u I didn't want to get out of bed either but laying in bed all day is not going to help with my depression it will only make it worse so i have to do something like kni t or crochet,i think it helps to since i haven;t seen the sun for about five days now and it wont be out today eithe,ugh

 

[XmasCarol52]

It would be nice if the sun would come out I havent seen the sun in just about a week now.I think not getting enough sleep is making me sick to,I know when i dont get enough sleep I get very angry and feel imbalanced,. Sun where the hell are you??

 

[janemariesayed]

It sounds like you really miss your hubby and grandmother and that they were good friends with you. It is a shame that they have passed now, I understand how you must feel alone. I wish your kids would come and see you more.

The sun has gone for us here in the UK too. But my garden is getting watered so I am happy for it.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I am so angry right now they sayI didnt apply for energy assistance what a f load of crap i was suppose to send in the letter saying i got it,how as i suppose to know that,it is my responibilty to send the paper work for it that i s bs

 

[janemariesayed]

Something I have noticed with our illness is that we find dealing with everyday life a problem. What I mean is answering letters and the like. What seems normal to others is a big confusing thing for us. Filling out forms is a trial for me. I never get to finish them in one sitting and then it's getting round to posting it.

Sorry, but I blame your son for this. He should be looking out for you for things like that. He should be making sure that you get those things done that you need to. His mind is young and fresh and he would understand what you would need to do. Doing those kinds of things is how the children show the love and care in return for their parents. Your son should be ashamed of himself.

You weren't to know that you had to send it back, but if your son was doing his duty, it would have been completed and you wouldn't have this problem. I wonder sometimes if it's not your mum that has put him against you.

 

[XmasCarol52]

U have the same problems with forms and I know I will have to fill one out when i go and see my new doctor where it says illness's I am going to put down anxieties and depression,bipolar also,No need to apologize because when he wanted me out of the house he told me he wouldn't have to cut the grass anymore or snowplow,plus I was promised help from both of my kids now I cannot even get a time a day from neither one of them,,My dad God rest his soul he told me a couple of time he wanted me out of the house so he could sell it and make money not for me for himself I if I hadn't been so weAk i would have never signed that paper form to get rid of my house so he could pocket the money but i had no say n the matter with moving and this,He even promised me that I would get some of the money when the house was sold ya sure.When I asked him about he ,he told me the people who got it couldnt just pay him flat out so now he has to pay it so that is why I didnt get any money,I know now the real reason he wanted me out of my house so he could make some money for crying out loud i lived there for over thirty year s i wanted to die in my owh home but now I cannot,I just dont know what is wrong with the kids nowadays,even my mom says he doesnt want to do anything oh sure i know he has two small kids so did I and I managed..Of TVCCA straightened it out the rude bitch that I talked to was wrong i knew she was,my mom called her to and she told me she was very nasty so i got another girl who called and said she had a pretty good idea who it was but couldn;t proof it so there must have been a lot of complaints about her... I do not need that crap from anyone being rude to a client is just not right i even told the new girl about how nasty she was to my mom too,if you are going to a job that is suppose to help someone u dont go and act like a stupid ass.I also have a phone phobia,I cannot stand having to talk on the phone because i get all nervous,and I think the people on the other end know it to,one time i had a girl laugh at me because I had an awful time speaking I got mad and told her don't speak to me like that.I would prefer emails then the stupid phone.