Toasthead
Member
- Joined
- May 30, 2020
- Messages
- 77
- Reaction score
- 42
I’ve been doing a lot better recently, I’ve made a lot of important changes in my life and I’m hoping they’ll eventually improve how I feel about myself. I’ve quit nicotine, I’ve been on keto for the past 3 weeks and lost 10 pounds, and I’ve gotten more serious about my writing. My job is still super inconsistent, but I’m looking for a new one. I’ve been saving my money more and my dad made a deal with me to help me pay my car off early. So things are looking pretty good for me. However, today I’m not feeling so great. For context I’m pretty exhausted, I spent the night at my friend’s house on Thursday and the next morning we went to his old college to pick up some stuff he left behind that a friend was holding for him and we hung out with his old buddies while we were there, we got home late so I spent the night again, then the next day I went home expecting to spend the day resting, from the long trip, but instead my parents invited their friends over so I had to be social and entertain, I got drunk for the first time in months and went to bed. I have had the busiest few days, so I’m not surprised I’m exhausted, but now I feel kinda depressed.
My friend told me today that he’s taking a job in construction he got offered from a guy at church. I’m really happy for him, but for whatever reason I also feel a little sad and scared. My friend has changed a lot recently and it’s for the better honestly, he lost 50 pounds and he got a new girlfriend and he went from doing grub hub to working a somewhat stable part time job that I helped him out with. I’m really happy for him, but I’m worried I’m gonna get left behind and that he’ll become someone that doesn’t want to hang out with me. Already his girlfriend basically highjacked our road trip. The night before we were gonna bro out, smoke weed, and play video games before heading to Costa Mesa, but a couple hours in he had to call his girlfriend to talk her down from a ptsd episode and then didn’t come out again for the rest of the night. Then when we got there and we were hanging out with everyone, he had to call her again, then on the way home while I was driving he had to call her again, which was super awkward and I felt like I couldn’t talk or be myself the entire time. Mind you we took MY car, I paid for most of the gas, and it wasn’t even my idea to go, tbh I only went for him and I ended up having a good time anyway, but it felt like I was being used. I understand he can’t help that his girlfriend has ptsd, and I also understand that it’s selfish of me to expect him to spend all his time with me, but this weekend made me feel like the dynamic of the friendship has really changed and I don’t know how to feel about it.
I just feel like I’m gonna lose my best friend because he outgrew me. I’ve been working on myself, but I’m always gonna be a little immature it’s who I am, I like video games and cracking jokes and shooting the sh*t till 3 in the morning. I’m more responsible now than I’ve ever been, but I’ll never be the goody-two-shoes average joe blow. It just isn’t who I am.
I don’t have many friends that are this close to me, I’d hate to be alone like I was before with no one to really confide in or depend on when it counts. Maybe I’m a bad friend or a selfish jerk for thinking this way, but it’s how I feel. I don’t want to lose my best friend, both our lives have gotten so much better since we started hanging out, we hold each other accountable and encourage each other to strive for better.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My friend told me today that he’s taking a job in construction he got offered from a guy at church. I’m really happy for him, but for whatever reason I also feel a little sad and scared. My friend has changed a lot recently and it’s for the better honestly, he lost 50 pounds and he got a new girlfriend and he went from doing grub hub to working a somewhat stable part time job that I helped him out with. I’m really happy for him, but I’m worried I’m gonna get left behind and that he’ll become someone that doesn’t want to hang out with me. Already his girlfriend basically highjacked our road trip. The night before we were gonna bro out, smoke weed, and play video games before heading to Costa Mesa, but a couple hours in he had to call his girlfriend to talk her down from a ptsd episode and then didn’t come out again for the rest of the night. Then when we got there and we were hanging out with everyone, he had to call her again, then on the way home while I was driving he had to call her again, which was super awkward and I felt like I couldn’t talk or be myself the entire time. Mind you we took MY car, I paid for most of the gas, and it wasn’t even my idea to go, tbh I only went for him and I ended up having a good time anyway, but it felt like I was being used. I understand he can’t help that his girlfriend has ptsd, and I also understand that it’s selfish of me to expect him to spend all his time with me, but this weekend made me feel like the dynamic of the friendship has really changed and I don’t know how to feel about it.
I just feel like I’m gonna lose my best friend because he outgrew me. I’ve been working on myself, but I’m always gonna be a little immature it’s who I am, I like video games and cracking jokes and shooting the sh*t till 3 in the morning. I’m more responsible now than I’ve ever been, but I’ll never be the goody-two-shoes average joe blow. It just isn’t who I am.
I don’t have many friends that are this close to me, I’d hate to be alone like I was before with no one to really confide in or depend on when it counts. Maybe I’m a bad friend or a selfish jerk for thinking this way, but it’s how I feel. I don’t want to lose my best friend, both our lives have gotten so much better since we started hanging out, we hold each other accountable and encourage each other to strive for better.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
