Feeling Detached!

[Nakitakona]

I have just retired from the government service for rendering 25 years as a classroom teacher and recently as a school administrator. I have been missing the wonderful kids in our school, the cooperative parents and community stakeholders, and of course, my wonderful, cooperative, supportive teachers. After they have given me a farewell party which I consider as the momentous event as I gracefully take the exit from the service.


There are times that I feel lonely. I am longing for their companionship, for their camaraderie, fellowship. I feel that I am somewhat detached. This feeling of detachment makes me anxious but I try my best to have a very diversion so that I could gradually forget those all good days I have had with my school pupils, their parents, and my teachers. What about you? With such feeling of detachment, how do you go about it?

 

[pwarbi]

Many people when they experience a big change like you have will have the same feeling and emotions but in time that feeling of detachment does subside. Gradually you'll find other things to occupy your life, and while you may feel that there is a big hole in your life at the moment, sooner or later you will start to feel better. I wen't through something similar when I left my old job and came living in an entirely new city, and for a few months I wondered if I had done the right thing or not, but as my life changed I learned to adapt and seek out new challenges and opportunities and even though you may not feel like it at the moment, the same will eventually happen to you also.


We all deal with change in different ways, and it can take people longer than others to adjust but eventually we all do, and we learn to deal with our past, remember what we had, but not let it hinder our future. We shouldn't long for how things used to be, but put that energy into a better future.

 

[Alex]

Very often we yearn for stability and what we know and we miss things, but we do move on. When several of my friends all got married and had children they drifted away and I was sad. We all said it wouldn't happen, but it does and I accept that as their lives revolve around school runs and buying uniforms, while mine is very different.


After such a long time, change will seem scary, but also exciting too. My parents retired and after a while they were bored and depressed, but eventually they found a new way to cope and to do things differently. You have choices, so exercise them. You can still stay in touch, and with social media it's much easier. I once read of a teacher who asked all his students aged 10 to write an essay on what they wanted to be and do when they were adults. He kept them all, and then when he retired he contacted them all to give back those essays to them to see how they had progressed. It was a documentary, and he tracked down most of them and many were very grateful and it made them think about things, and also reminded them of what their aims were. It was interesting to see that most students remembered him with great fondness, so know that you have touched lives even if those students never actually told you.

 

[Alexandoy]

I can relate to this thread because I had retired last July. I was actually terminated from my job due to politics and envy. Some people just couldn't accept that I am better than them. Since the cause of my separation is a nasty one, I thought that it would be easy sailing for me.


In the past months,  I felt good and I seemed to have adapted to my new life. But a few weeks ago, I have that longing to see my colleagues.  I admit that I am missing their company.  But I don't want to visit them in the office.  Maybe that is also the reason why I get intermittent sleep at night. 

 

[biege]

Honestly, I haven't experienced this in my entire life because until now, I still have contacts with my old friends from school and other walks of life. It's a good thing that we already have Facebook and other social media so we have a lot of ways to be reconnected with our past acquaintances. Setting up reunions is a good thing as well, at least do this once a year and you won't feel that way. Well for me, this has always helped.

 

[pwarbi]

One of the hardest things I found is that you don't actually realise that you are feeling that way, until it's actually happened and by then it's often too late. I agree that trying to keep in touch with old friends or planning reunions is a good way to stop a person from feeling lonely and detached but that does tend to happen slowly and over a long period of time so we don't often realise it's happening.

 

[misszerable]

No matter how bad a working environment can get, there's always something you'll miss about it when you finally leave a job and the life that you've been accustomed to for years. I imagine that this is even more difficult for most retirees who have worked for most of their lives with a group of people and are now transitioning to a more sedentary life with their families. It may take a little while to get past this feeling of detachment. but you'll soon be accustomed to your new life. When I get to the retirement stage, I'll probably plan what I'm going to do from day one, and I'll make sure that each day will count.

 

[Danes]

The best thing to avoid getting depressed when one part of your life comes to a close or when you finally accomplish some big goal is to always set new goals for yourself before the completion of the previous goals so that you always have something to look forward to. I would suggest that you try to find a way to work with other people whether on a part time or volunteer basis so that you can once again start to experience that companionship that you're missing.