Feeling angst when friends don't reply online

[tonitoni]

It's stupid, but when I'm chatting with friends online and I feel ignored, I agonize over it for hours. Like yesterday, I left a long message on a group chat and nobody wrote anything back. I know it's pathetic, but I felt great anxiety over it. I even got a tiny bit depressed. It's so ridiculous and I need to stop.

 

[sidney]

You must be very young for you to feel that way? I know that teenagers need to feel accepted in a group, so I can understand if that makes you anxious. Although in my case I never experienced that stage while I was growing up, but I think you just need to make new friends so that you won't be fixated if a certain group of people ignores you.

 

[ReadmeByAmy]

You are still young that is why you are having that kind of feeling that you think your friends in your group chat are ignoring you. Like me I am not younger anymore but me and my set of friends had a group chat also. It is also happening to me that sometimes no one is replying back to me even though I knew that all of them had seen my message. I do not take it seriously and I just wait for their replies which are sometimes late already. But it is just okay and I always do understand because sometimes I knew that they are online but they are doing other important things and for me it is an acceptable reason.

 

[gracer]

I think that this is one negative effect that social media can also give us. Most especially for the younger generation now where social media has the possibility of becoming their basis for happiness. This is where the problem starts because once you begin to rely on the attention you get from your social media friends and don't get the attention you want, mixed feelings of anxiety and depression start to arise. Maybe you could try to take a rest from using your social media account for some time. This could help in clearing your mind and seeing other things which could mean more to you even without the presence of social media.

 

[Alex]

There are some people who are never off social media and will respond immediately, but what you must realize is that not everyone is logged on. I only log on every now and then, but even if I get a notification I won't rush to read it, because it's my way of controlling things. Don;t take it personally when people end a chat, because people either have nothing to say or are busy. Most are doing several things in one go, and get distracted.


If people don't reply there is probably a good reason for it, and maybe you are expecting too much. At times people would rather take time to write a proper reply rather than a rushed one, to me that is more respectful. I prefer to get a long email back from a friend a month later than a two liner the same day.

 

[JGPangi]

Getting depressed over something isn't ridiculous at all, we all get that way sometimes. It's okay to feel that way, especially if your message was regarding a time-sensitive issue and the group was fairly active before the message was posted. However, it's also important not to dwell on it so much that it begins to color your view of your friends in that group. The longer you agonize over it, the more negativity and mistrust you build up, and I know from experience that it's hard to let it go if you mull on it for too long. I agree with Gracer, take some time to clear your mind and remind yourself that you have no reason to be anxious.

 

[It'sJaz]

I used to feel that way, and it's not just young people who get affected by it, I think most if not everyone wants to feel accepted in some way. Usually if you are worrying about this, you are probably overthinking and it's not that they don't want to reply to you. They may be busy or not check their chats, or maybe they just don't have anything to say. Don't think too much about it, just let it go and move on. If you feel they are truly ignoring you and you feel depressed by that, maybe take a break from the group for a few days or so.

 

[DDNatureLover]

I can remember feeling this way when I was online almost 24/7 and dealing with the same group all of the time. We became very close, and our lives became enmeshed...too enmeshed in some cases. I have since learned to distance myself somewhat, and as Alex mentioned, not everyone is online all of the time. I have items listed for sale online, and I get messages in the middle of the night, inquiring about the items I'm selling. I think a lot of people don't realize that not everyone is attached to their phone/tablet, and it's o.k. to take a break from technology. As mentioned, having other interests will not only help you with this issue, but will help you feel more fulfilled. When you feel more fulfilled, you won't care as much what others think, because you'll have your own interests to occupy your time and your mind.

 

[amy88]

I am in my late 20's and I still get frustrated with this - I hate when text messages or Facebook chats show that someone has read your message but they don't reply. My mind starts getting away from me and I think "did I say something to offend them? Are they mad at me?" and I think for people with social anxiety that's a fairly normal response, at least I've been told that it is.