Fear of looking dumb or being misunderstood

[Michelle77]

I have horrible social anxiety and I’m finding that I’m even having trouble posting out of my fear of being judged even though I know it’s silly.. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe partly because I’m new to this..

 

[AlexLeonardi]

I feel ya, Michelle. Guess what - I'm not judging you. I get it. I find it so hard to post on social media. Just know you're not alone. You know what's been helping me? Talking to God. But not in a religious, "I have to do this" kind of cliche way, but in a best friend way. I've come to know in a real way that He loves me and it doesn't have anything to do whether I've done good or bad for the day or what I've done wrong in life. He loves you too, and wants to be your friend too! I'm praying for you.

 

[Michelle77]

I feel ya, Michelle. Guess what - I'm not judging you. I get it. I find it so hard to post on social media. Just know you're not alone. You know what's been helping me? Talking to God. But not in a religious, "I have to do this" kind of cliche way, but in a best friend way. I've come to know in a real way that He loves me and it doesn't have anything to do whether I've done good or bad for the day or what I've done wrong in life. He loves you too, and wants to be your friend too! I'm praying for you.

I really appreciate ur response Alex! I also have a close relationship with God.. I do need to remember that more often than I do

 

[AnxiousGirl]

I have horrible social anxiety and I’m finding that I’m even having trouble posting out of my fear of being judged even though I know it’s silly.. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe partly because I’m new to this..

I totally get you! I just posted my first post here a few seconds ago and it made me so anxious

 

[Squid Jones]

I think there's nothing wrong with being a little nervous, shy, apprehensive, etc when dealing with other people even if it's online. I'd say that's pretty normal actually. Not everybody is a social butterfly. So don't give yourself a hard time about it. Give yourself a break. It's okay. And remember that a lot of people are just as worried about what others think about them as you are. If you could see their thoughts then you'd see you're far from out of the ordinary in that regard. Those thoughts are normal. It only becomes a problem when you obsess over it and let it stop you from being happy.

 

[AlexLeonardi]

I really appreciate ur response Alex! I also have a close relationship with God.. I do need to remember that more often than I do

You're welcome! Oh that's awesome! I find that the more I keep my mind focused on God the more peace I have about stuff, not just social media. If you ever want to chat, I'm here!

 

[Michelle77]

I think there's nothing wrong with being a little nervous, shy, apprehensive, etc when dealing with other people even if it's online. I'd say that's pretty normal actually. Not everybody is a social butterfly. So don't give yourself a hard time about it. Give yourself a break. It's okay. And remember that a lot of people are just as worried about what others think about them as you are. If you could see their thoughts then you'd see you're far from out of the ordinary in that regard. Those thoughts are normal. It only becomes a problem when you obsess over it and let it stop you from being happy.

I do obsess over it recently, and it’s definitely become a huge problem. I’ve always had anxiety but it’s gotten extreme over the past year or so. I don’t know exactly why, I have ideas of what it might’ve been but I still just can’t seem to get through it. I obsess about the feelings, the symptoms, the cause, a cure, etc. And, I have pretty much every type of anxiety there is. I am to the point where I barely leave the house and I probably wouldn’t but I know that would just give me something else to have to deal with. When I’m around people, especially strangers, I do everything I can to avoid eye contact. I’m just extremely uncomfortable and I’m not positive as to why exactly. I also worry that people notice how uncomfortable I am and think I’m a weirdo or something. Or, I feel they think I’m rude or snobby and wish they understood. What frustrates me the most is knowing that my anxieties are irrational and I still can’t control them.. Didn’t mean to go on and on, guess I just needed to vent a little. I do appreciate what you said though, especially since most people just ask me why I care about what others think..

 

[Squid Jones]

I do obsess over it recently, and it’s definitely become a huge problem. I’ve always had anxiety but it’s gotten extreme over the past year or so. I don’t know exactly why, I have ideas of what it might’ve been but I still just can’t seem to get through it. I obsess about the feelings, the symptoms, the cause, a cure, etc. And, I have pretty much every type of anxiety there is. I am to the point where I barely leave the house and I probably wouldn’t but I know that would just give me something else to have to deal with. When I’m around people, especially strangers, I do everything I can to avoid eye contact. I’m just extremely uncomfortable and I’m not positive as to why exactly. I also worry that people notice how uncomfortable I am and think I’m a weirdo or something. Or, I feel they think I’m rude or snobby and wish they understood. What frustrates me the most is knowing that my anxieties are irrational and I still can’t control them.. Didn’t mean to go on and on, guess I just needed to vent a little. I do appreciate what you said though, especially since most people just ask me why I care about what others think..

Yeah and I wasn't trying to trivialize your experience. I hope it didn't come off that way. See, there I go worrying about what you think! But yeah, the thoughts are normal and shouldn't be of any real concern. It's what happens after the initial thoughts that's a problem. Not being able to brush them off and letting them actually dictate how you're gonna live your life is a problem. Have you talked to a professional about this? If so, what did they say?

 

[Michelle77]

I didn’t think you were trivializing or anything like that. I have talked to my psychiatrist about it but I haven’t described exactly how extreme my anxiety is or has become. Until recently I didn’t realize that other people do experience these anxieties as extreme as I do, so I just didn’t go deep enough into an explanation for fear of being misunderstood or figured he’d think I was exaggerating and just needed coping skills. I used to take klonopin but I had to be taken off of it because I built a tolerance very fast and started taking more than prescribed, way more to be honest. Now, I feel like he’ll just assume I’m making things up to get the medication. Just another worry of what he’ll think. And, I actually don’t want any benzo because I probably would end up abusing it. I have been in recovery for about 2 years from opiates that I started taking simply because it took the anxiety away and I felt more normal. I think the medications, taking them as well as coming off of them, have a lot to do with how I got so bad off. As if they messed with the chemicals in my brain or I just got to used to a quick fix that it seems like nothing else will help since I don’t have that calm feeling they automatically give. I’ve tried other anxiety meds but they don’t effect me at all. I didn’t mean to talk so much here, my situation is just really complicated. I have an appointment with my doctor next week though and I do plan to explain how these things are effecting me. I just have to overcome my fear of him thinking I’m so bad off that I need to be admitted to inpatient. That’s something that holds me back too, I’m pretty sure you have to be psychotic or suicidal for that but the what if is still in my head.. Any thoughts on that? Thanks for listening, being able to really talk has been super helpful, I realize I tend to get aggravating sometimes though so I totally understand if you get tired of talking...

 

[Squid Jones]

As if they messed with the chemicals in my brain or I just got to used to a quick fix that it seems like nothing else will help since I don’t have that calm feeling they automatically give.

Both of these things are very possible or even likely. And they could both be true at the same time.

As far as the inpatient thing, they're not gonna put you in the nuthouse unless you're exhibiting behavior that is somehow a danger to yourself or others. I've been in the nuthouse quite a few times actually when I was younger. Last time was when I was 21, so about 17 years ago. That time I went cuz I had a major panic attack that landed me in the E.R. and they saw I'd been cutting myself. But yeah, they're not gonna lock you up over some anxiety issues. Not unless your anxiety issues manifest into something tangibly dangerous. Besides, even if they do it's not the end of the world. I met some pretty cool people in the nuthouse actually! lol But no, they're not gonna put you in there based on the behaviors you've described.

And you don't have to thank me for listening. That's what forums of this nature are for. You're welcome though.

 

[Joshua1]

I have horrible social anxiety and I’m finding that I’m even having trouble posting out of my fear of being judged even though I know it’s silly.. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe partly because I’m new to this..

Its normal to feel that way if you have not invested in relationships very much. The job i do is communicating with people, it can be a phone call, it can be like right now, it can be someone in person. If you met me you would not realise that i had insecurities. You have not care what people think, and be proud of who you are.