Fear of getting your smile misunderstood

[Kaynil]

I don't think I have ever tried to word this before. I have no idea how common or uncommon is. When I was a kid I would smile easily, at some point I can't pinpoint while growing up I have been overthinking whether I should smile for anything.

For example, let's say that a compleye stranger gets on the bus. He dropped a few coins or had a bit of a nervious demeanor but overall I get the feeling he or she is a nice person. This person then looks at me, my impulse would dictate smile in order to make them feel more at ease but my brain instead overrides with doubts, as I am starting the smile. I would instead become afraid that it will be misundertood and it'd look for them like I am flirting or mocking them.


It is something I am getting better at not overthinking. Few times I end up cutting my smile short but I was just wondering if that was a common thing you guys also experience with anxiety or not. I dunno, I felt like sharing it.

 

[Claraviolet]

Well, it's quite common. Sometimes, it's really hard to come up with the exact expression that you should be portraying. To be honest, sometimes, it's better to just ignore things rather than use a weird expression like smiling or chuckling.

At least you are not afraid to think that you won't be seeing a smiling face in return.
Here is what I do , when I don't know what kind of expression I should make:
1. I look at my watch(The other person would think that you are in a hurry and everything will go well)
2. I use my phone(The same as above, they would think that you are checking up on something important)

These are not ideal solutions but they would prevent misunderstandings and that's what we are aiming for here

 

[janemariesayed]

I don't think I have ever tried to word this before. I have no idea how common or uncommon is. When I was a kid I would smile easily, at some point I can't pinpoint while growing up I have been overthinking whether I should smile for anything.

For example, let's say that a compleye stranger gets on the bus. He dropped a few coins or had a bit of a nervious demeanor but overall I get the feeling he or she is a nice person. This person then looks at me, my impulse would dictate smile in order to make them feel more at ease but my brain instead overrides with doubts, as I am starting the smile. I would instead become afraid that it will be misundertood and it'd look for them like I am flirting or mocking them.


It is something I am getting better at not overthinking. Few times I end up cutting my smile short but I was just wondering if that was a common thing you guys also experience with anxiety or not. I dunno, I felt like sharing it.

With me, I feel like I should pacify everybody and keep the peace so I smile a lot. I'm very diplomatic but it means that I don't always speak up for myself. It goes right the way down the line. I smile at people to let them think everything is okay. Part of me does it to let them know that although I know they won't like me that I won't hurt them and that I don't mind that they don't, or won't like me.

I know it is a wrong way to think and that those strangers don't know me to not like me, but it is my anxieties and agoraphobia that makes me like that. I'm always, always glad to get home where it is just me and my dogs. Peace and safety.

 

[axelxiii]

I have this fear as well sometimes. As a result, I normally reserve my smile for elderly people (who usually smile back, which warms what is left of my heart).

I'm a little reluctant to smile at people my age due to being shy, but when people my age smile at me, it makes me feel really happy. Like...that person actually acknowledges me and my existence, haha. So, my advice is to try to put that fear behind you. Many people appreciate a smile, and this world certainly could use more of them.