Ended my oldest friendship today

[Toasthead]

So I want to start by saying this guy is literally the oldest friend I’ve ever had. I’ve known him since pre school and though I feel this needs to happen I’m a little sad that I had to cut this tie. We had a falling out today over something really stupid that he brought up, but it opened the floodgates to all the problems that have been building up over the years that I was always to scared to express. First of all he’s incredibly immature to the point that he literally brought up stuff from when we were like 8 during the argument. We’re in our 20s now for god’s sake. He’s also a pathological liar, he lies about stuff he doesn’t have to lie about and gets upset whenever we call him out on it. I kept getting prank calls for weeks from somebody that sounded suspiciously like him. Finally confronted him about it and he denied it so I told him he better be telling the truth because the next time it happened I’d report it to the police. Suddenly I stopped getting those calls. He’s also an alcoholic that only ever seems interested in hanging out when free booze is involved.

There’s a mountain of stuff he’s done that I don’t even feel like getting into that has shown me I’ve outgrown him. I know he has a lot of mental health issues and doesn’t acknowledge them. I have my fair share of mental illness, but at least I make an attempt to control my anger, he doesn’t even try. He contributes nothing to our friend group and constantly asks for hand outs, half the time we end up basically paying for the privilege of dealing with his crap. Every time he comes over there’s a huge mess that he never even offers to help clean up. He’s disrespectful and self absorbed. The dude basically started yelling at me because I said I was tired of playing the same video game with him every freaking night and expected me to apologize for not saying that to his face and being direct with him so I decided to be direct with him and tell him exactly how I feel not with anger but as a friend and surprise surprise he didn’t like the truth so I told him how I truly feel and now I really don’t care one way or another if he apologizes, I’m done with him.

I have no regrets honestly, this needed to happen eventually. I’m an adult and Adam’s just a kid that never learned to grow up. I’ll be honest I don’t even feel that angry I’m just done trying to make the friendship work. I don’t need his negative energy in my life. I feel like by ending this friendship I can finally move on to more fulfilling ones.


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[Cuchculan]

In life we get to make such choices. Who we are around and who we don't want to be around. I grew up with loads of people. Can't say I see any of them these days. Might have one or two on social media. That is as far as it goes. We grow up. We move on in a lot of cases. Some of those friends from years ago I have no interest in them at all today. What they get up to and all that sort of stuff. They are not part of my life today. We know what is best for us. Letting a lot of the past go can be good. That does include the people from the past.

 

[Joshua1]

Sorry to hear that, Perhaps your friend was dealing with personal issues and they affected his emotions. I suppose you have to let him go, if he is not understanding your "complaint" or helping you or the relationship you have with him. What do you do if it is family that does these things to you? Cut them off. But they are family, your friend was a friend for a long time.

 

[Vincent]

What do you do if it is family that does these things to you? Cut them off. But they are family, your friend was a friend for a long time.

Family can be tougher, but it can usually be managed if you stay focused about what the issue is and why you need to cut off the family member.