I have just read a brilliant article on child abuse and PTSD. It comes from the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse written in 2006. I am not sure of the author but the article really hit home with me. I read through it nodding all the way through. Yes, that's me I found myself saying to practically every sentence. I am emotionally bankrupt! With years of child abuse, from more than one person that lasted from the age of two or three until I was twenty-one. Each time another 'abuse day' happened, it would be piled on top of the one before which has left me drained, emotionally tortured and lost. I am not a complete human being. I have not been able to live a complete life because of the trauma. Also, because of what happened after the trauma. The article is a long one, but well worth the read. I'm not into cutting and pasting but I am happy to post a link for anyone who is interested enough to read it. http://www.naasca.org/2011-Articles/081411-PTSDinAdultSurvivors.htm Reading this article has really made me think. It's made me think that I truly was a victim, but it has also made me realise that a time can arrive in survivors lives when they are ready to face it all and heal. That is me now. I am ready to heal in the company of others. Thank you to all the lovely people that I am getting to know on here. I finally have the 'safe zone' to help me face all that I endured. Where I can share my feelings and emotions without judgment. This is great news, added to my upcoming therapy I will begin to heal. In time, as my therapy and interaction with all of you begins the healing process, I will no longer be 'emotionally bankrupt' as I am now. But I will become Jane. As I should have become Jane in my early years, it will start to happen soon. I wonder who I am? I wonder who I will become? I don't know the answer to that yet, but I am so very sure that I will like myself. Life is at last worth living. I have something to aim for. To release the child within me, and let myself grow into the beautiful person the Universe intended me to be. I am at last, ready to heal, in the company of others.