Don't Want to Leave the House

[judyd1]

Has anyone here ever dealt with not wanting to get beyond your front door? For me, it started when my husband left the family. He left us with no money, no food, no way to pay the bills. Eventually, we had to move, but for several weeks, I dreaded going out of the house, and couldn't wait to get home and close the door.


I have never felt panic like that before. I think it might have been the idea of talking to people. I just didn't want to be around people anymore.


What do you do to get over that?

 

[rz3300]

Oh yes, I often times do not feel like leaving the comfort of my own home. I always find it interesting when people say they do not like to be alone, because I can think of few things better than some quiet alone time. Getting too much of it is a problem though, and I know that it is. Some days, though, my anxiety keeps me inside, where I justify it to myself that I do not really need to leave the house. This is one reason why I HAVE to have a job, to protect myself from myself if I have too much free time.

 

[gracer]

I am in the same boat as you right now judyd1. I just don't want to leave the house at all and whenever I do, I make sure I go home immediately and just confine myself in the four corners of my room. I would rather face the computer the whole day rather than interact with people from outside. I don't know but it seems like my ability to socialize has gone way down ever since I became a stay-at-home mom. Maybe it also has something to do with my feeling of low self-worth right now. Until now I'm still in this situation and I really don't know when and if I'll ever be able to snap out of it.

 

[joshposh]

We all have experienced some type of disconnection from the outside world. Sometimes staying home is the only comfort you have, so might as well take care of yourself first, and not let the outside world affect the healing process. Eventually we all will find a reason to come out of the shadows and into the light again. It takes time and most importantly a reason for coming out again.

 

[Pandora]

I am still in the same boat, I don't like leaving my bed many days, and I thought it was depression. I had a friend take me to go and talk to a doctor he told me it was depression but, social anxiety. He tried to tell me to go out slowly, like to hanging out of the porch, and then going down a step from my porch. It was little steps to make it to my car, however, I am still standing at my car. Its been over three months and I still haven't made it into my car. I don't know if my social anxiety is getting into a wreck or having to talk to others. I really don't know what to say to other besides "your to close" or I don't have anything to say to them besides hello.

 

[sidney]

I did feel that way when I was having some issues with my confidence, but luckily it was just a phase, and I'm now not ashamed to go out of the house and talk to people, whether strangers or not. I think it's all about perception and the current mood of people why they become paralyzed to leave their house.

 

[ReadmeByAmy]

Actually I am the homebody type of person ever since I was a child and I always want to be inside the house and does not like to play outside with the children in our neighborhood. Up to my teenage years I am like this and I only go outside with the company of my family and close friends only. But sometimes when I am not in the mood I do not join them either and my family would always get angry to me because I will be left alone in the house. Even in our school educational and recreational field trips sometimes I was the only one in class who does not like to attend and my teacher would always call my parents and asking what is the reason and they just said that I do not want and they cannot force me if I do not want. But when I was in College already things had changed and all of a sudden I became the active type of person I can never imagined. I became friendly and outgoing at the same time. I just realized that there is no permanent thing in this world and all of us can change our life for the better.

 

[judyd1]

I try to fight those feelings every day. I accepted a job a few years ago that made me have to deal with people every day, but it was very stressful and I am glad that the job ended. Most of the time, I would rather be in my room, at my computer, or reading a book than out around people, in crowds or at the grocery store. I would rather shop (when I have to) at stores late in the evening or early in the morning to avoid crowded places.


I am naturally a solitary person. I enjoy some interaction on my own terms, but I could very easily be a hermit. As long as I can have my basic needs met, I'd rather be at home with lots of peace and quiet.

 

[hades_leae]

I am in the same boat as you right now judyd1. I just don't want to leave the house at all and whenever I do, I make sure I go home immediately and just confine myself in the four corners of my room. I would rather face the computer the whole day rather than interact with people from outside. I don't know but it seems like my ability to socialize has gone way down ever since I became a stay-at-home mom. Maybe it also has something to do with my feeling of low self-worth right now. Until now I'm still in this situation and I really don't know when and if I'll ever be able to snap out of it.

I don't think that is what the problem is, you might just need to find some hobbies where you can connect with other people who have similarities like you. I hated going out because I did not want to talk with people who I had nothing in common with. And when I did have interactions with people that I did not intend to have them with, my anxiety kicked in and made the conversations awkward.


I remember being at home and telling myself that I wanted to connect with people, but it would have to be people who I have things in common with like gamers, people who play sports, etc. It worked out for me, and now I go out with no problems.

 

[Alex]

I feel many people prefer the safety and security of their own home and it's tragic that your husband walked out judyd1 but you have to and are picking up the pieces and finding renewed strength. Women are tough and they bounce back, but it takes time and support. When the world you know crumbles around you, you search for stability again, and the home represents that.


With so much going on int he outside world the four walls of a home is safer, but I recently lived in a dorm on a retreat and I made me appreciate my own four walls of a room. I didn't have that fro several months, and I can tell you it's so important as a place to return to. Take control and go out if you want to and need to, but don't feel abnormal for preferring to be at home as it's not.

 

[gracer]

hades_leae Right now, I actually feel more comfortable interacting with people in forums such as this. I even feel more welcomed and accepted here than in my own circle of friends and family right now. This is why I'd rather be writing and reading online than go out and find people who would want my company. I just feel like no one wants my company anymore because I'm not as successful and popular as them. It's the total opposite of how I used to be that's why I feel so unwanted right now.

 

[oportosanto]

Has anyone here ever dealt with not wanting to get beyond your front door? For me, it started when my husband left the family. He left us with no money, no food, no way to pay the bills. Eventually, we had to move, but for several weeks, I dreaded going out of the house, and couldn't wait to get home and close the door.
I have never felt panic like that before. I think it might have been the idea of talking to people. I just didn't want to be around people anymore.


What do you do to get over that?

I am really sorry to hear about it judyd1, I cannot even imagine being in your situation with no money, no job (?) and kids to take care of. How have you dealt with that?


It's just natural it leaves a trauma, but not leaving the house would not solve the situation, quite the opposite because those are the times we need to fight the most to turn our life around.

 

[fuzyon]

I feel you, something like this happened to me when I was a teenager as well. I messed up pretty badly at school and all my classmates were making jokes about me, I was scared for life to leave the house and I even stayed home for one week because I wanted to avoid them. In hindsight it was pretty silly from me and I laugh about it now, hopefully you'll reach a stage in your life so that you will too.

 

[judyd1]

Thanks for all the comments, but I actually am doing much better now than I was for a while there.


Don't get me wrong--I could still easily be a hermit, but if you met me in real life, you would never guess, because I hide it very well.


And I fight those feelings, because as several of you mentioned, it doesn't solve anything.


I remind myself every day that life is worth getting up for, that the future has to be better than the past, because the past was pretty bad. (I say that because soon after that incident I mentioned, I found myself and my son homeless for a short while--there was nothing more scary than that!)

 

[Panic57]

I get in moods where I don't even want to leave my bedroom. I can usually get away with it because my bathroom is in my bedroom. I usually stock up on food once a day and then I won't leave my room for the next twenty-three hours. There is just something about needing to stay away from prying eyes and people's expectations of you that makes me want to hole up. The stress I feel when I'm forced to leave the house on an errand is the worse. I'll spend thirty minutes in the car just breathing carefully before I can run an errand because I'm so stressed out having a panic attack. But I'm not really in a situation where I can completely avoid the outside world but sometimes I can get away with it for a week but not much more before my family starts laying in the guilt for being a self absorbed brat.

 

[hades_leae]

hades_leae Right now, I actually feel more comfortable interacting with people in forums such as this. I even feel more welcomed and accepted here than in my own circle of friends and family right now. This is why I'd rather be writing and reading online than go out and find people who would want my company. I just feel like no one wants my company anymore because I'm not as successful and popular as them. It's the total opposite of how I used to be that's why I feel so unwanted right now.

Well I don't think that you should really let that get to you. I would feel OK if my family and friends that I used to have did not really see me as someone of popularity because that is not the life I want for myself. I don't want to fel wanted by everyone, I just want to feel wanted by myself which is enough for me to want to live life to the fullest. Everyone else can just go worship their celebrities.


I guess it just takes time to figure out how you want to life a happy life as you discover yourself. We are here for you though whenever you want to talk.

 

[hades_leae]

hades_leae Right now, I actually feel more comfortable interacting with people in forums such as this. I even feel more welcomed and accepted here than in my own circle of friends and family right now. This is why I'd rather be writing and reading online than go out and find people who would want my company. I just feel like no one wants my company anymore because I'm not as successful and popular as them. It's the total opposite of how I used to be that's why I feel so unwanted right now.

Well I don't think that you should really let that get to you. I would feel OK if my family and friends that I used to have did not really see me as someone of popularity because that is not the life I want for myself. I don't want to fel wanted by everyone, I just want to feel wanted by myself which is enough for me to want to live life to the fullest. Everyone else can just go worship their celebrities.


I guess it just takes time to figure out how you want to life a happy life as you discover yourself. We are here for you though whenever you want to talk.