done...

[imsotired]

Guys i dont know what to do anymore like suicide is rlly getting to me bc of covid and recently some of my dreams consisted of suicidal things happening like my friend prayed herself on the bus, was lying on the floor and got taken to hospital and one other was yesterday i was in my primary school and this girl with long black hair which i thought it was me running and showed me like a demonstration of suicide and i tried not to look which was good. i dont want to die as i will hurt so many people my head hurts like hell. i feel like i have made it impossible for myself to get out of this deep hole that im in...and i cant imagine if i would be better if covid wasn't hear

i control the thoughts wiith music playing the guitar,washing my hair (when i have to) Driving, sometimes coloring and going on insta and doing the course and also hugging my dog. i feel like that i am putting up a happy face when i am dieing inside.

im so tired, thankyou guys for reading x

 

[alwaysworried]

If you can, please, please, please talk to someone you trust or talk to a doctor/therapist. While I'm glad that you have found ways to distract yourself, no one deserves to be thinking those thoughts, and it sounds like you need professional help to deal with this. I really hope things turn around for you soon, remember that life is worth living. Your life is a beautiful path and you might be in a rut right now, but if you seek and accept help you'll be able to see all of the wonderful things that will come your way in the future. You matter to far more people than you realize...so I implore you, please seek help if you are able to. I really hope that you start to feel better soon! hugs...

 

[imsotired]

If you can, please, please, please talk to someone you trust or talk to a doctor/therapist. While I'm glad that you have found ways to distract yourself, no one deserves to be thinking those thoughts, and it sounds like you need professional help to deal with this. I really hope things turn around for you soon, remember that life is worth living. Your life is a beautiful path and you might be in a rut right now, but if you seek and accept help you'll be able to see all of the wonderful things that will come your way in the future. You matter to far more people than you realize...so I implore you, please seek help if you are able to. I really hope that you start to feel better soon! hugs...

thankyou soo much xx

 

[PRguru_cfj]

Guys i dont know what to do anymore like suicide is rlly getting to me bc of covid and recently some of my dreams consisted of suicidal things happening like my friend prayed herself on the bus, was lying on the floor and got taken to hospital and one other was yesterday i was in my primary school and this girl with long black hair which i thought it was me running and showed me like a demonstration of suicide and i tried not to look which was good. i dont want to die as i will hurt so many people my head hurts like hell. i feel like i have made it impossible for myself to get out of this deep hole that im in...and i cant imagine if i would be better if covid wasn't hear

i control the thoughts wiith music playing the guitar,washing my hair (when i have to) Driving, sometimes coloring and going on insta and doing the course and also hugging my dog. i feel like that i am putting up a happy face when i am dieing inside.

im so tired, thankyou guys for reading x

I am not the most liked guy around. Or the most capable. But I know the fear and the feeling. I had a nightmare recently that I was in a harsh red landscape and u see my dad holding a large mostly boulder. Hes chained to it and beat to all hell. I try and go help him but I can't move nothing but my head. Then I notice the boulder wches with voices of pain and some of them I know. Then he turned to me giving all hes got and smiles and said, " Be good, it's not your fault"

His legs gave out and I felt I fell on my bed. I have generalized anxiety disorder. And ev ere y nights a literal struggle to fall and wake up. Controlling my self that I don't get to frustrated and lash out. And the feeling if self loathing is always thier. The dream had a theme, burden. I felt Inwas a burden others. I play video games, watch movies, youtube , TV can't go out that much becuase kf this Covid and just study .most of my days since college.

So I get you and the feeling is forever alart of us. We feel like were burdens and we think we don't matter. Want to plain to stop. But what I want is peace of mind and with my condition it's a fight. But giving up is applying but I am way to stubborn to give up either. So smiling now and crying later is a life style for me. So I can tell you its manageable. But the .ore you cage the animal the uglier they come out

Try to find a love one and tell your best friend about the dream you have. He/she will just be glad that you care about them and will be the perfect person to talk to. Or a trusted family member. Find ways to channel it and it will slowly were away. Just hang on a little more. If not for yourself. Then do it for the people who love you and to piss off those who don't