Don’t Know What My Issue Is? Generalised Anxiety, Social Anxiety, or Both? Can Anyone Relate?

[justalitnerdxx]

Generalised Anxiety kinda fits in that I am often feeling anxious, low mood, sensitive, easily startled with an overactive imagination (if I find a mark on my skin I can wonder if it’s cancer, or if my dad is late home from work I imagine that he’s been in an accident). But at the same time I don’t think my worries are out of proportion…I mean I have a relative with cancer and people do die in crashes along the road near where I live a lot…and I can usually distract from the doomsday predictions. I don’t know if that means I’ve gotten good at navigating automatic negative thoughts or if I am not troubled by GAD in particular.
The main focus on my thoughts tends to be how useless I am, how I am friendless and will be forever alone once my family die. I feel like I’m a bad person and I do go out of my way to avoid social situations - or rather I don’t really engage in them and when I do I just feel like a fraud who is expecting judgement and people to hate me. This kinda fits SA I think but I don’t know. I mean, SA is more than just feeling like a crap of a person and a inferior mess to everyone?
I can be tearful during the day, like suddenly come over feeling unsafe, vulnerable hopeless and that the world is out to get me. More people maybe than “the world” events? I mean I hate my car playing up or the cost of living in my country being sky high awful…but these things are just, I don’t know.. i can accept them I guess? Then again I just feel entirely out of control of my life and trapped. Like things are conspiring to have me backed in a corner. So maybe my “it is what it is” blasé reaction is more from a sense of disempowerment. I feel like my life is over already and my existence and resistance is futile.
What plagues me is the thought of someone hating me or wanting to cause me harm or having indifference towards my existence makes me want to curl up and cry). I guess it is maybe GAD with low esteem rather than just Social

 

[AMcSwain]

I was diagnosed with GAD but I think it plays a big part into SA. If I’m already anxious for any reason I don’t want to go out around people and then when I’m not anxious I love to go out and have fun. I won’t go to crowded places though… concerts, festivals etc. because I have a fear something will happen and that has been this way since I was young. I have no reason behind it other than something “could” happen. I know something could happen anywhere at anytime but for some reason crowded places are one of my fears. My number one fear is death. Me dying my family dying anything like that. So I understand exactly how you feel. Most people in this forum do. It does get better and getting medical help whether it be meds or therapy can be a big help. Or even talking to someone who understands when you are anxious. I hope things start looking up for you

 

[Missy]

Generalised Anxiety kinda fits in that I am often feeling anxious, low mood, sensitive, easily startled with an overactive imagination (if I find a mark on my skin I can wonder if it’s cancer, or if my dad is late home from work I imagine that he’s been in an accident). But at the same time I don’t think my worries are out of proportion…I mean I have a relative with cancer and people do die in crashes along the road near where I live a lot…and I can usually distract from the doomsday predictions. I don’t know if that means I’ve gotten good at navigating automatic negative thoughts or if I am not troubled by GAD in particular.
The main focus on my thoughts tends to be how useless I am, how I am friendless and will be forever alone once my family die. I feel like I’m a bad person and I do go out of my way to avoid social situations - or rather I don’t really engage in them and when I do I just feel like a fraud who is expecting judgement and people to hate me. This kinda fits SA I think but I don’t know. I mean, SA is more than just feeling like a crap of a person and a inferior mess to everyone?
I can be tearful during the day, like suddenly come over feeling unsafe, vulnerable hopeless and that the world is out to get me. More people maybe than “the world” events? I mean I hate my car playing up or the cost of living in my country being sky high awful…but these things are just, I don’t know.. i can accept them I guess? Then again I just feel entirely out of control of my life and trapped. Like things are conspiring to have me backed in a corner. So maybe my “it is what it is” blasé reaction is more from a sense of disempowerment. I feel like my life is over already and my existence and resistance is futile.
What plagues me is the thought of someone hating me or wanting to cause me harm or having indifference towards my existence makes me want to curl up and cry). I guess it is maybe GAD with low esteem rather than just Social

Do you have health anxiety? I have that along with GAD. I see a therapist and am on medication. I do not handle the unknown or loss of control very well. How about you? You are not alone.

ll

 

[justalitnerdxx]

I was diagnosed with GAD but I think it plays a big part into SA. If I’m already anxious for any reason I don’t want to go out around people and then when I’m not anxious I love to go out and have fun. I won’t go to crowded places though… concerts, festivals etc. because I have a fear something will happen and that has been this way since I was young. I have no reason behind it other than something “could” happen. I know something could happen anywhere at anytime but for some reason crowded places are one of my fears. My number one fear is death. Me dying my family dying anything like that. So I understand exactly how you feel. Most people in this forum do. It does get better and getting medical help whether it be meds or therapy can be a big help. Or even talking to someone who understands when you are anxious. I hope things start looking up for you

Yes, I’ve found that too if I’m already on edge then people arE not good for me to be around. I relate to what you’ve said. I think for me it’s also because people/crowds/events that there is the element of social judgement (I don’t want judged at all costs!) but more pervasive is a sense that someone could be dangerous or something could happen. Like, a mash crush if people pile into an already crowded auditorium or a lone villainous individual with a knife who is going to attack people.

It’s hard to explain but at times I just feel dread and that there’s something wrong - not even sure what the “something” is.

Do you have health anxiety? I have that along with GAD. I see a therapist and am on medication. I do not handle the unknown or loss of control very well. How about you? You are not alone.

ll

I think I probably do. I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m obsessive about my health or other’s health, but it does play on my mind that my parents aren’t getting any younger and that obviously bad diseases and fatal accidents do happen to people.

It’s weird, the unknown and loss of control is something I’ve kinda always felt I was good at, as in going with the flow of life. I feel like I have little to no control over my life on one hand but then rather than accept it and be content with what is I end up stressed and feeling hopeless, if that makes sense? Do you relate to that?

 

[MATD]

Anxiety, no matter the manifestation, is still anxiety and can be successfully dealt with through acceptance. What you have going on is a very critical sense of self. It’s your inner voice talking to you. But the good news is that voice is wrong. I recommend It’s Only Anxiety by Carl James. His book is based on the work of Dr Claire Weekes. He addresses this critical inner voice and you would benefit from it greatly if you give it a chance. I too suffered at the hand of my own critical inner voice. You aren’t alone in this.

 

[Missy]

Yes, I’ve found that too if I’m already on edge then people arE not good for me to be around. I relate to what you’ve said. I think for me it’s also because people/crowds/events that there is the element of social judgement (I don’t want judged at all costs!) but more pervasive is a sense that someone could be dangerous or something could happen. Like, a mash crush if people pile into an already crowded auditorium or a lone villainous individual with a knife who is going to attack people.

It’s hard to explain but at times I just feel dread and that there’s something wrong - not even sure what the “something” is.


I think I probably do. I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m obsessive about my health or other’s health, but it does play on my mind that my parents aren’t getting any younger and that obviously bad diseases and fatal accidents do happen to people.

It’s weird, the unknown and loss of control is something I’ve kinda always felt I was good at, as in going with the flow of life. I feel like I have little to no control over my life on one hand but then rather than accept it and be content with what is I end up stressed and feeling hopeless, if that makes sense? Do you relate to that?

I can relate. Have you had any significant losses or big changes in your life?

 

[justalitnerdxx]

I can relate. Have you had any significant losses or big changes in your life?

Not really. I was bullied at school but most people are. My dad’s side of the family have suffered with anxiety and depression so it’s maybe hereditary most likely.

Anxiety, no matter the manifestation, is still anxiety and can be successfully dealt with through acceptance. What you have going on is a very critical sense of self. It’s your inner voice talking to you. But the good news is that voice is wrong. I recommend It’s Only Anxiety by Carl James. His book is based on the work of Dr Claire Weekes. He addresses this critical inner voice and you would benefit from it greatly if you give it a chance. I too suffered at the hand of my own critical inner voice. You aren’t alone in this.

Yes, it’s that inner voice of mine that I wish could shut up :0

 

[MATD]

Not really. I was bullied at school but most people are. My dad’s side of the family have suffered with anxiety and depression so it’s maybe hereditary most likely.


Yes, it’s that inner voice of mine that I wish could shut up :0

Anxiety is not proven to be hereditary, but is learned behavior. Watching your father react to stress was your teacher. I was the same way, only my mother was my teacher. It’s also from the lack of nurturing as a child growing up. It doesn’t necessarily result from abuse, but just a lack of parental guidance and attention.But....we do inherit our personality traits, something to ponder on. I became quite the loner myself because of my lack of nurturing and not understanding the world around me, plus the unintended abuse from an anxious mother who didn’t know any better herself. One thing I am certain of, practicing acceptance has given me a better outlook and lessened my anxiety a lot. I’ve been practicing for about seven months now, and I can definitely tell a major difference in myself. Especially where that critical inner voice is concerned. I stopped believing what it was saying and chose to believe I am a worthwhile person.

 

[AMcSwain]

Anxiety is not proven to be hereditary, but is learned behavior. Watching your father react to stress was your teacher. I was the same way, only my mother was my teacher. It’s also from the lack of nurturing as a child growing up. It doesn’t necessarily result from abuse, but just a lack of parental guidance and attention.But....we do inherit our personality traits, something to ponder on. I became quite the loner myself because of my lack of nurturing and not understanding the world around me, plus the unintended abuse from an anxious mother who didn’t know any better herself. One thing I am certain of, practicing acceptance has given me a better outlook and lessened my anxiety a lot. I’ve been practicing for about seven months now, and I can definitely tell a major difference in myself. Especially where that critical inner voice is concerned. I stopped believing what it was saying and chose to believe I am a worthwhile person.

I always here the best way to help yourself is acceptance but what does that mean? Like I know I have anxiety and I have accepted that I’ll probably always have it but what do people mean when they say acceptance is the key?

 

[MATD]

I always here the best way to help yourself is acceptance but what does that mean? Like I know I have anxiety and I have accepted that I’ll probably always have it but what do people mean when they say acceptance is the key?

You accept the symptoms without reacting to them. “Oh no! I’m feeling anxious again! What ever will I do? I hate feeling this way!” You learn how to not react to anything anxiety related with negativity or feelings. You are Switzerland, neutral! The more you react, the more of a mental hold the anxiety has on you. So you have a dizzy spell, let’s say. Instead of reacting with fear and going down that rabbit hole, you simply acknowledge the spell, allow it to happen as best you can without reacting in any negative way. Instead, you can say to yourself, “well, I’m having a dizzy spell. I’ve had them before, this is nothing new. It can do it’s worse, but I know it will pass.” In the beginning, it is very difficult to allow those feelings/symptoms to occur without reacting. But with patience (lots of it) and perseverance in sticking to the method, gradually you will begin to stop reacting, especially with fear, which is adding second fear to the anxiety you already have. This method works for anything anxiety related and even just normal stress. It’s actually a new way of living, if you will.

 

[AMcSwain]

You accept the symptoms without reacting to them. “Oh no! I’m feeling anxious again! What ever will I do? I hate feeling this way!” You learn how to not react to anything anxiety related with negativity or feelings. You are Switzerland, neutral! The more you react, the more of a mental hold the anxiety has on you. So you have a dizzy spell, let’s say. Instead of reacting with fear and going down that rabbit hole, you simply acknowledge the spell, allow it to happen as best you can without reacting in any negative way. Instead, you can say to yourself, “well, I’m having a dizzy spell. I’ve had them before, this is nothing new. It can do it’s worse, but I know it will pass.” In the beginning, it is very difficult to allow those feelings/symptoms to occur without reacting. But with patience (lots of it) and perseverance in sticking to the method, gradually you will begin to stop reacting, especially with fear, which is adding second fear to the anxiety you already have. This method works for anything anxiety related and even just normal stress. It’s actually a new way of living, if you will.

I will definitely be trying this. I’m also going to look for the book you were talking about. Thanks for all the help

 

[MATD]

I will definitely be trying this. I’m also going to look for the book you were talking about. Thanks for all the help

No problem, just trying to pay it forward.

 

[justalitnerdxx]

You accept the symptoms without reacting to them. “Oh no! I’m feeling anxious again! What ever will I do? I hate feeling this way!” You learn how to not react to anything anxiety related with negativity or feelings. You are Switzerland, neutral! The more you react, the more of a mental hold the anxiety has on you. So you have a dizzy spell, let’s say. Instead of reacting with fear and going down that rabbit hole, you simply acknowledge the spell, allow it to happen as best you can without reacting in any negative way. Instead, you can say to yourself, “well, I’m having a dizzy spell. I’ve had them before, this is nothing new. It can do it’s worse, but I know it will pass.” In the beginning, it is very difficult to allow those feelings/symptoms to occur without reacting. But with patience (lots of it) and perseverance in sticking to the method, gradually you will begin to stop reacting, especially with fear, which is adding second fear to the anxiety you already have. This method works for anything anxiety related and even just normal stress. It’s actually a new way of living, if you will.

this is great advice, thank you. Trying to accept and come to terms that I’m just an anxious person and that it’s ok to be that way as well as it’s better to find ways to cope and make life more manageable and enjoyable.

I was having a wobbly moment before feeling bogged down and tearful, and I noticed my thoughts were spiralling onto overthinking if it’s better long term financially and for the environment for me to keep buying books or go to an e-reader. I realised that I was misplacing my fear and unease of having covid with a distraction over books. Yet instead of mentally beating myself up more I admitted out loud to myself “hey, I’m poorly right now and feel crap but my brain is having a tantrum about the best reading habits! What a nugget I am. I’ll go take a bath…I’m too sick to read now anyways so this doesn’t matter at all” It kinda diffused the inner tension within me anyways when I acknowledged the anxiety was there and that it was out of line.

Like, I’ve dreaded covid coming into my home incase my family got really poorly and died, but now that it’s here and my family have been sick with it but not seriously ill, it’s like my brain has that stress still despite alls well that ends well so has to find something else to focus on. But having that awareness of what my brain does in an odd way helps me feel less scared and emotional.

 

[MATD]

That’s how it’s done. I find myself having those same thinking problems. Being aware is part of the solution. Keep it up.