Does responsibility make you anxious?

[Alex]

I'm the eldest and have always been responsible for my sibling, so responsibility is something that I have grown up with, but it does daunt me. When I am responsible for looking after someones pet, or looking after a friend's children (even for a short while) I do feel anxious, even though everything is okay. Once the cat did jump on the stove and set his,self on fire and I freaked and put him under the bathtub taps! I did tell my friend who was fine about it, although I thought she would be mad at me. I couldn't not tell her as a few whiskers had been singed, but she knew how responsible I am as a person.


Do you avoid responsibility if you can if if makes you anxious, or maybe it's just me? I cope, but it's more of a feeling of I need to be responsible that makes me more on edge.

 

[HappyKoi]

That was one crazy cat!  I'm glad you were able to save it!  I'm sure the cat wasn't thrilled about being soaked, but it's better than being on fire.  I'm sure the cat won't jump up there anymore.  I don't see how she could be mad at you when it was the cat that did something crazy.
It's tough to be the responsible one, and I can see how that would make you anxious.  I do feel that way, and I tend to hover more than I should, both with kids and with pets.  I've read quite a few articles about how this does more harm than good, and I'm trying to back off more.  I think part of my problem is that I'm a perfectionist and a bit of a micromanager.  It makes me anxious if I feel that things aren't being done "correctly".  I have two extremes- I either micromanage or withdraw completely.  I feel anxious, like you said, even if things are going well.

 

[amy88]

I guess you could say it's responsibility that makes me feel anxious - I think for me especially it's responsibility when it comes to having fixed plans, if that makes sense. One time I recall that was relatively recent was when a friend asked me to pet sit their dog. Their dog is really yappy and high energy, and I found it impossible to say no even though I knew it would be a rough few days at my house caring for their pup. I hate being tied down and I hate the responsibility of looking after other people's things, in particular.

 

[explorerX7]

There are times when responsibility makes me anxious. I may be in charge of a situation in which others under my supervision are not performing at an effective level which will probably affect my group's abity to achieve the standard targets. This would cause a great amount of anxiety for me, and I would have to be pulling out all the stops to correct the situation because if anything should go wrong I would have to give an account as to why it  happend because I would be the person in charge.

 

[Alex]

I guess you could say it's responsibility that makes me feel anxious - I think for me especially it's responsibility when it comes to having fixed plans, if that makes sense. One time I recall that was relatively recent was when a friend asked me to pet sit their dog. Their dog is really yappy and high energy, and I found it impossible to say no even though I knew it would be a rough few days at my house caring for their pup. I hate being tied down and I hate the responsibility of looking after other people's things, in particular.

It's no that we can't cope, but it's hard to explain, a feeling that makes you anxious because others are relying on you and you don't want to let them down. Very often you don't, but you have that anxiety at the back of your mind. Most people don't even know and the feeling passes quickly, but it's still there. It's funny to think if I am not responsible or in charge though, I can get frustrated because I have no control if things go wrong.

 

[amy88]

@Alex yes that's very much in line with how I feel. Usually after the commitment is done, I'm like "oh - that wasn't so hard!" but I guess in my head as well it's a case of "well what if this happens? What if their dog gets sick? They'll think I was incompetent/irresponsible" and things like that...


 


And oddly I am the same - I get nervous when I do have a ton of responsibility but when I'm not the one in control I also get anxious - it's an interesting paradox for sure.

 

[Alex]

@Alex yes that's very much in line with how I feel. Usually after the commitment is done, I'm like "oh - that wasn't so hard!" but I guess in my head as well it's a case of "well what if this happens? What if their dog gets sick? They'll think I was incompetent/irresponsible" and things like that...


 


And oddly I am the same - I get nervous when I do have a ton of responsibility but when I'm not the one in control I also get anxious - it's an interesting paradox for sure.

Even though these days I have less responsibility than I used to, deep down I know I can cope, but there is always something like adrenaline that keeps me on a slight edge of anxiety. For example, I took a neighbor's friend's dog for a walk because the person who was supposed to had let them down. Now this friend is very particular and doesn't let anyone touch her dog, but as she was away the dog needed to go out and my friend is disabled. I was so anxious the entire time and we decided not to tell her I walked the dog. I kept to quiet roads and made sure when there were cars the dog was on the inside, and was pretty much on edge and more aware of things as the dog was my responsibility.


I enjoyed the walk, but was slightly relieved when we got home as I then felt I had no more responsibility, but I would do it again. I guess laid back people have a different mentality, but I've never been like that, but gradually I am getting less edgy about some things.

 

[Choochoo]

I have this and I attribute it mostly to the adults around me making too big of a deal out of everything when I was a kid growing up. Because of that I feel I blow up every little responsibility and make it feel as if it is this big task and it causes me to feel overwhelmed even at the smallest hints of responsibility. Of course I am not a doctor so I do not know if this is accurate but just from how I feel whenever I hear someone needing me for something it feels almost exactly the same as the anxiety I was made to feel when I was little and something wrong but small would happen and everyone around me would lose their minds over it. 

 

[sidney]

I have a pet cat and so far, that's the only one thing that I'm responsible for. It doesn't really make me anxious since the responsibility is light, but I do dread heavier responsibilities like caring for a sick person or raising a kid, so I dodge those heavier responsibilities. 

 

[hades_leae]

I actually love responsibility, it actually makes me really happy. When I got my first apartment, I loved it, I loved going to work and making to money to pay my bills, it was and still is a lot of fun to take care of your responsibilities. It makes me feel important to myself, and also more mature than many others who just don't prioritize their business the way the might be best for them.

 

[Alex]

I actually love responsibility, it actually makes me really happy. When I got my first apartment, I loved it, I loved going to work and making to money to pay my bills, it was and still is a lot of fun to take care of your responsibilities. It makes me feel important to myself, and also more mature than many others who just don't prioritize their business the way the might be best for them.

I'm glad it works for you, and I did feel the same when I had my own place when I was younger. As I got older I realized that it's not always fun, and paying a mortgage can seem like a great idea, but when interest rates shot up it wasn't.


Because I've always been a responsible person and still am, it's hard to shake, but sometimes it can build up and then you realize you can only do so much anyhow.

 

[Panic57]

I grew up having to be the responsible one and it's stressful because you can never just relax and have fun.   I always get disappointed looks when I fail to reach everyone's expectations that they don't have for either of my other siblings.   In the long run though being responsible has it's benefits but sometimes i think it cost me my childhood.  Now I'm stressed out because I'm now responsible for not only myself but my mom and little brother.  It's not fair because I wasn't even out of college when I started having to take care of the two of them.   Heck my first paychecks went to buying formula and diapers for my little brother.  I love them but I sometimes feel like people expect me to be responsible so they don't have to but they don't actually give anything back or see how you are suffering for their sake.  It's very stressful, especially when I'm just starting out and I haven't even really made a name for myself to support t myself much less three people. 

 

[misszerable]

Raising a child is by far the biggest responsibility I've had in my life. When I became I parent, that's when I really understood why my parents have been 'unjustly' protective of us. The degree of responsibility is what differentiates grandparents-grandchild relationship from parent-child relationship. Grandparents tend to enjoy their grandchildren more because the responsibility rests on the parents.


Being responsible for my child and for my pets- a dog and 3 cats - makes me anxious but it's a part of life that I've come to embrace. It's normal to be anxious because I love my son and these little creatures who are depending on me for their subsistence. I can't let them down so off to work I go.   

 

[fuzyon]

Responsibility has always made me anxious, now that I've been on my own for a while I've learned to cope with it but when I was a teenager it was quite bad. I was about to move for college and a lot of stuff started piling up on me, I had to find a room to rent, learn for my final high school exam, find a job so that I could move to another city and adapt to living by myself. It was quite a lot to take in considering I never had any responsibilities whatsoever but I coped with it the best I could.

 

[DDNatureLover]

I used to enjoy responsibility. That was when I could work and afford to take care of myself and everything that needed to be done. These days, it seems responsibility is very overwhelming, because I'm past the point where things are stretched to the limit. In the past, I could count on a check that would supply everything I needed plus more, and I could always cut back a bit or take on extra work to increase my income. Now that there's no more wiggle room, anything and everything that pops up is a crisis, and I sometimes wish I could turn back the hands of time and just relax again, and not have so much stress. 

 

[mauricioq]

I don't avoid responsibilities because if they're responsibilities, I must go trough with it, it's important to me. But that kind of tasks do make me anxious because I need to do them well, and if I don't there's going to be consequences. That makes me nervous for sure.

 

[Zeesi]

I grew up having to be the responsible one and it's stressful because you can never just relax and have fun.   I always get disappointed looks when I fail to reach everyone's expectations that they don't have for either of my other siblings.   In the long run though being responsible has it's benefits but sometimes i think it cost me my childhood.  Now I'm stressed out because I'm now responsible for not only myself but my mom and little brother.  It's not fair because I wasn't even out of college when I started having to take care of the two of them.   Heck my first paychecks went to buying formula and diapers for my little brother.  I love them but I sometimes feel like people expect me to be responsible so they don't have to but they don't actually give anything back or see how you are suffering for their sake.  It's very stressful, especially when I'm just starting out and I haven't even really made a name for myself to support t myself much less three people. 

Reading your post resonates with me, but not because I feel the same way as you do.  It resonates with me because I grew up very unlike this.  I didn't have any real responsibility growing up, and because of that, I feel like I've missed something.  I grew up with no one really expecting anything from me or OF me.


As an adult, it makes one feel kind of "float-y", disconnected in some sort of fundamental way that I really can't put my finger on.  So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think you're kind of 'lucky' to know how it feels to have people expect something from you, if that makes sense what I'm trying to say here.


As an adult, when the word responsibility is mentioned, I almost don't know what it means.  I'm a grown woman, with a grown son, and yet I feel like I know nothing about being responsible.  I guess it means to have to answer for something.  I don't know.

 

[Zeesi]

I do what I have to do, but to be honest, I really don't know how it feels to have that much of a reaction to responsibilities.  I've lived on my own, paid bills, have a son, raised/raise him on my own, took care of my elderly, blind mother, but I always felt like I had a safety net, even though I've been through some very trying times.


I have gone through some very harsh times, but, I don't know, it's complicated how my mind works when it comes to responsibility.  I almost don't understand the feeling behind the word, that most adult people seem to feel.  I mean, I get it, but because of the way I was raised, and the way my thought processes have been trained to go, certain things don't resonate with me like they should.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I think that the more I grow up, the more I realize that I'm an adult and progressively I'm going to need to take a lot of responsibilities at once... And that's one thing that I'm scared the most. I mean, it's not like I avoid those responsibilities but they make me so anxious until I face them and I see that it wasn't such a big deal, I think that it's the idea of facing them what is causing me so much conflict. 

 

[x0xLikeMex0x]

It really depends on what I'm responsible of. If I'm hosting a party, I'm anxious if something goes wrong, if someone breaks something and hurts themselves or that the neighbors will complain because of the noise and call the cops on me.  Or when I have to look after someone else's things. I'll get anxious if I lose something or something gets stolen.