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Does anyone else go through this?

Pandanae

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My anxiety has been seriously bad these past couple days and none stop it seems. Lately I've been dealing with a lot of heavy and crazy intrusive thoughts. I have a fear of developing schizophrenia...and I keep thinking that if I keep focusing on something I'm going to make it happen. The thought scares me..so my mind won't shut it off....example..laying down in bed and thinking "What if something that isn't there touches me, or I see something..and I hallucinate my fear into reality"..Has anyone else done this and how do you deal with it?
 

embracingmyanxiety

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This has happened to me before, and nothing ever came of it.

I have stretches of days where my anxiety is overwhelming and constant. It's typically during those episodes where I get fixated on one particular worry or fear; does that happen to you?

I remember a few years ago being so anxious that my hyper vigilance reached a level where I was half convincing myself that the thoughts I was thinking were coming from outside of my head. I was also terrified of developing schizophrenia, and it freaked me out pretty bad. There wasn't any one thing that really got me through that period of time, although meditating and writing and generally keeping myself busy always helps.

I also remind myself that my anxious mind is very, very tricky. My anxious mind is generally unwell, and when I feel overwhelmed with anxiety I'm not capable of thinking logically or rationally. I try and separate my feelings from my thoughts, because at least then they aren't feeding into one another in a big loop. The important thing I try to remember is that I feel afraid, and that it's okay to feel afraid, and that I don't have to let that fear manifest itself as thoughts.
 

Pandanae

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Thank you so much for your reply..and to answer your question..yes it does happen to me too! Sometimes it's a bunch of the different things I'll be fixated all at once. Sometimes when something feels resolved I think of Something else that bothers me...only for it to go away and come back..its like I fixate on different things back and forth..idk..it makes it hard to focus on the things around me and I feel stuck in a constant worry loop in my head...its awful...it feels like I'm going crazy at times...the hard part is when I was super well for weeks until things started up again.
 

embracingmyanxiety

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Anytime! I always try and let people know that they're not alone when I can, and based on what you're describing I think I go through something similar.

After years of looking I have been fortunate to find a good counsellor, and she has really encouraged me to used creative outlets and to find ways to get my attention into my body. Do you do anything creative that you enjoy? I play the guitar and write quite a bit, and I find that I can lose myself in those things after only a few minutes. I have the most success when I just let myself play or write, rather than trying to be perfect or reach some sort of goal.

The other thing that has really helped me is yoga and exercise and stuff like that. My counsellor encouraged me to find things that get me out of my head and into my body a little bit more, and it's definitely helped. The idea she sold me on is that I have a tendency to float away on my thoughts, and doing things like yoga or meditation or running or whatever else helps force me into my physical body, where I see that everything is more or less okay right now.

The uphill battle I'm facing right now is learning to remember that it's okay to be afraid. The anxious thoughts I get are frequently just stories I tell myself to try and justify and explain feelings of fear, even if the fear isn't related to the story at all. So, I try and acknowledge the thoughts without really focusing on them too much, and then remind myself that it's okay to be afraid, and that although fear is unpleasant I'm not really in any danger.
 
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