Do you use your phone to avoid people?

[Zeesi]

I do it all the time. I use my headphones too, even if I don't have any music playing. I don't consider myself too shy most days, although I was when I was a child. But sometimes I don't like intrusion, some days I don't feel like talking to anyone, or having anyone talk to me, so I find ways to avoid interaction.

 

[Zeesi]

We have a rule in the house not to use the phone when eating. I understand that the younger generation are addicted to the phone particularly when there is free wifi. And I also understand that some of them are using their phone to avoid conversing with his companions. Once in a while my colleagues in the office would agree to eat out so off we go to the restaurant together with our boss. But our nerdy boss would always be glued to his smart phone for the reason that he is doing a research as part of the job. So my colleagues and I are in a banter while waiting for the food and my boss is in his smart phone. But I guess that he is anti-social that's why he is doing that

Maybe your boss is just shy. Or maybe he really does have a lot of work to do (even during lunch) because he is the boss. Maybe he really doesn't have time to sit and talk because he feels like he has work that needs to be done. He probably feels that his time is better spent working, not talking.

 

[Surrender]

This drives me nuts. I see people doing this all the time and I just think if they put their phone away and looked "alone" for a minute, me or someone else might approach and talk to them. But I guess it requires looking vulnerable for a minute, which is hard.


I have to admit I have the urge to look at my phone to attempt to look busy, but I usually force myself not to and try to deal with the anxiety instead. If I do give in and look at my phone I usually end up feeling worse, like I copped out and gave into my feelings of anxiety, instead of trying to fight it.

 

[kgord]

I think the phone is just a type of crutch like many others. It is just the way that people can avoid others and less frightening than interacting face to face. It is just one of the methods of avoiding conflict with people when it might be too anixety provoking otherwise. It is just another method to avoid contat that might otherwide be threatening. I know i use the phone as a companion if I might happen to be by myself. So it is good.

 

[2deidara7]

This drives me nuts. I see people doing this all the time and I just think if they put their phone away and looked "alone" for a minute, me or someone else might approach and talk to them. But I guess it requires looking vulnerable for a minute, which is hard.
I have to admit I have the urge to look at my phone to attempt to look busy, but I usually force myself not to and try to deal with the anxiety instead. If I do give in and look at my phone I usually end up feeling worse, like I copped out and gave into my feelings of anxiety, instead of trying to fight it.

Yeah, you might be right, but for people like me who doesn't want people to approach them, putting away my phone is not an option. Lol! Well, there may be people who want someone's company during such situations but are shy or don't have the courage to approach someone. Maybe they should put away their phone, like you said, so that there will be a higher probability for someone to approach them.

 

[tgthewriter1]

Sometimes I use my phone to avoid people. I don't want to be bothered all the time. People piss me off sometimes. Sometimes I want to just be bothered with myself.

 

[Corzhens]

I think the phone is just a type of crutch like many others. It is just the way that people can avoid others and less frightening than interacting face to face. It is just one of the methods of avoiding conflict with people when it might be too anixety provoking otherwise. It is just another method to avoid contat that might otherwide be threatening. I know i use the phone as a companion if I might happen to be by myself. So it is good.

I agree with you that there are people who use the phone to save them from facing people especially when they are with people not close to them. I have noticed lately that the custom here in public places is to use the cellphone regardless of whether you are alone or with companions. Sometimes I take statistics. For example in one restaurant, I would count the number of tables where one or more of the occupants are using the phone versus tables where no one is using the phone. Almost always, the phone users outnumber the table of non-phone users. So now I am quite confused if the phone is an alibi by timid people or is it really being the custom now in society.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I just got another phone because the last one that I had was stolen, so I basically spent six months without a phone and it was really hard to cope with awkward social anxiety and there was a few times when I just wished that I had my phone there. But it actually made me more resistant to that anxiety, because I made up another ways to get distracted or just face the situations... And it was not fun, but I guess that I don't really need the phone now to avoid people, or at least for now.

 

[Ashley0323]

Yes, I will look at my phone and be "doing something" just to avoid being apart of social situations. I am not sure why I ever started doing this. It has become a habit and I feel like I am being rude when I do it, but If I dont do it, I feel like I am going to fall into an attack.

 

[soodito]

Haha!! I guess it's very common. Almost everyone uses this technique to avoid people. I usually do this at parties or gatherings that I don't want to attend. I am very bad at communicating with people I don't like. I m an introvert and it is very difficult for me to have a long conversation. So I prefer using a phone or just pretending like I m busy doing something important on my phone.But one should have small interactions so that you are not misunderstood.

 

[darosk]

I use this 'tactic' at social gathering and in public, but it really kind of annoys me in certain situations. I was at a relative's birthday the other day, and we were all at a nice restaurant and after some initial chatting everyone eventually pulled out their phones (if they didn't have them out already), and everyone stopped talking. I felt bad, but I'm not the type of person to bring it up - so I didn't know what to do.

 

[HappyKoi]

I think a lot of people do this, and it's more common than one would think. I don't think people even judge or think twice about it anymore. When I was a kid or a teenager, I used a book. Of course, times have changed, and technology has improved, but I still sometimes pretend to be interested in a book when I don't want to talk to someone. I find that people are more willing to interrupt someone who is reading a book, versus someone who is looking at their phone. I wonder why?

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

This is funny indeed because it happens all the time when I go out for dinner with my friends. After dinner, instead of talking with each other, we would take out our smartphones and play a game. Actually, we are all playing the same game. And the game allows us to group together to do things. So, to outsiders, we look like we are all intent on our own individual activities on our phones when in actual fact, we are together in the same game via our phones.

 

[tgthewriter1]

Yes I do. I do not care about people when I need money. When your unemployed, time is not something you have.

 

[Wanderer]

I am glad to see I am not alone!


I guess it makes me feel so not alone and pitiful. Not that being alone is a bad thing! I rather enjoy being alone. I guess that is why my phone is my goto companion. I don't want to talk to people, I just want to be left alone, when I am holding my phone people tend to leave me alone. As soon as I put it away boom, people think they can chat me up!


I think my phone is my shield, my form of protection from the outside world. It makes me calm and happy!

 

[jsc070711]

I do this as well. More often than not. Im painfully shy, so I just find comfort in staring at a screen. Now, If someone approaches me and talks to me anyway, then I'll talk but usually I'm trying to avoid that!

 

[MichaelJacob]

This is so me, every time I'm in a situation where I get social anxiety I have to get my phone out and play a game or go online there is 2 reasons I do this, one, it's kind of an escape when I'm really uncomfortable and don't want to interact or look at anybody, and the second reason is to look like I'm busy so that people don't try to talk to me. I actually did this when I first went to see my therapist and he got frustrated with me haha.

 

[doryQ]

I do this one hundred percent. It kind of makes me uncomfortable because it's like a security blanket -- if I forget my phone and I'm stuck in public without my boyfriend, I have no idea what to do with myself. When I was younger I avoided people with my ipod and books, so using my phone is just a continuation of the same behavior. It makes me a little sad when I meet up with friends and everyone is looking at their phone instead of talking to each other though. If everyone is always on their phones all the time, I think that'll make even more sociable people anxious.

 

[AndrewNguyen]

Yes, I always set it into Silence and Airplane mode.


So I'm only the one who contact to other! I really don't like to waste my time for crap talking.


I like to communicate directly with people more than through a device.

 

[justsayyes]

I'm actually guilty of this. I do this all the time to avoid small talk or potential awkward conversations or mainly to avoid looking like a big loser if I'm all alone someplace. What's funny is most of the people in public places are also busy with their phones so i guess it's really becoming a thing in modern culture.