Do you use your phone to avoid people?

[Panic57]

I've noticed that when I go to parties or even to a restaurant to eat that people use their phones to avoid talking to each other. I do this at parties to look busy and not pitiful and alone. So I was wondering if anyone here uses their phones to avoid talking to people in a public setting? Or if I'm the only one.

 

[DDNatureLover]

Ha, I have to say this made me laugh. Back when I had a cell phone and actual cellular service, I would keep my bluetooth ear piece in, and sometimes pretend to be talking if I ran into someone I didn't want to talk to. I don't mind saying hi, but I don't want to get into a lengthy conversation, especially one that blocks the aisles in a store, because I consider that very rude. I didn't grow up around here, and don't know that many people that I come across, so thankfully that doesn't happen often, but I can say I'm guilty of this.

 

[hades_leae]

No, your not alone. When I go places with the family, or even if it's something like a family get together, I will ignore everyone except the little kids who I like to play with. I will sit on the couch, and put my headphones on and watch videos on youtube as much as I can. Every time I've done that, someone eventually tapped me on the shoulder and told me to get off and interact with everyone else because they were having a good time.


Generally someone would say something to me, and I didn't respond which is what got every ones attention directed at me which cause a panic attack because I hate when all eyes are on me. I smile, and eventually walk out the living room, or where ever we are. My phone is my distraction on purpose.

 

[Jemina]

I use my phone to make it look like I'm busy and have something to do too. I'll pretend to be talking on the phone if I think that someone is going to stop me in the street to have a conversation with me. I agree that blocking aisles is really rude, as is blocking entry ways to anywhere, and yet people don't seem to care about stopping people in inconvenient places. I end up really embarrassed by it and end up wanting to go out of my way to avoid people that do that, or use my phone so I can't stop to chat.

 

[amy88]

Me too...it helps when I feel like I can't make conversation and I just want to be left alone - if I look engrossed in my phone people don't tend to come up to chat.


But a part of me wonders if that does more harm than good and just fuels my anxiety, you know? As hard as it is to do, sometimes I think I just need to confront my anxiety head on to make any progress with beating it.

 

[lexinonomous]

This makes me laugh because I do this all the time. I do this at school, in the grocery store, and even while I'm walking to my next destination. I will do anything to avoid casual conversation, so there have been times where I've pretended to be on my phone. Usually, I will pretend to text someone and look as if it's very important, but I have gone the extra mile and pretended to be having a conversation. Sometimes I find myself pretending to call someone and act as if I'm frustrated that they won't pick up. When people see that I'm frustrated, they won't want to make casual conversation with me.


I've had people interrupt my fake texting conversations, which always turns out awkward. They may not have known that I was pretending, but I'm now stuck talking to someone because they didn't really care that I was on my phone.

 

[gracer]

This is really funny but true. To answer your question, it's a big YES for me too. I not only use my phone to avoid conversations with people face to face but I also use it to avoid looking silly while waiting for someone or something in a public place. For example, whenever I'm meeting this particular friend at a coffee shop and she's late (which is always the case), I would pretend to be texting on my cellphone so I would at least look busy while waiting for m friend to arrive.

 

[Alex]

The phone is a good tool to avoid eye contact or to talk to people when you are not in the mood. In the old days it was a book or magazine, but the phone is useful because you can pretend to talk or what I used to do was listen to voice messages. I think many people do this when they are waiting in line or when they want to avoid contact with others.

 

[bangtanboys]

Ah, the oldest trick in the book I think it's safe to say that everyone has used their phones to avoid talking to people at least once in their life. I even do this when I'm with a friend and they run into another group of friends I don't know. I kind of just let them do their thing, and slink in the back, face in my phone. There could literally be nothing to even do, but I'll open and close apps just to look busy haha.

 

[Corzhens]

We have a rule in the house not to use the phone when eating. I understand that the younger generation are addicted to the phone particularly when there is free wifi. And I also understand that some of them are using their phone to avoid conversing with his companions. Once in a while my colleagues in the office would agree to eat out so off we go to the restaurant together with our boss. But our nerdy boss would always be glued to his smart phone for the reason that he is doing a research as part of the job. So my colleagues and I are in a banter while waiting for the food and my boss is in his smart phone. But I guess that he is anti-social that's why he is doing that

 

[NormaD]

Nope, you're not alone. I'm guilty of doing that too. Sometimes my phone provides much better company than the people who happen to be around me at that particular time. I especially tend to do that when I'm surrounded by people who are extremely negative. I try to avoid such people at all costs, and sometimes the only thing you can do is to pretend that you are busy on your phone just to get away from them.

 

[DDNatureLover]

Yes, I think this habit evolved from all of the reading I would do when I would ride buses or the subway. It's often best not to interact with some on public transportation, because it seems there are sometimes troublemakers, and I was always needing to catch up on school work or other reading anyway, so I think that's when I learned to tune out those around me, and perhaps I found it a useful tool, and now just use the phone, since I don't carry books with me most of the time.

 

[JGunterman]

Yes, especially when I was going to college. If I had to walk to class alone I would get on my phone to avoid eye contact with people. I actually saw it as a Facebook meme, but I thought it was actually pretty clever! I feel like people are less likely to interact with me when I look busy, obviously.

 

[Julian]

Definitely... Even when I have nothing to do on there, I'll just stare at my background and pretend I'm scrolling. For some reason, it does feel like the person is staring at me. When I take a glance I'm always proven wrong, they never do. It also feels as if I'm holding my breath. Really, I just want that person to move on as quickly as possible. When he does, it feels like freedom. As if I opened a window.


And it makes no sense whatsoever.

 

[yeppeo]

I do this at parties to look busy and not pitiful and alone.

I do this too, so you're definitely not the only one!


Sometimes even when I'm going somewhere by myself. I honestly don't know why I do it, but I feel really pathetic and weak when I'm standing alone and it's like a protection thing? I guess.


I'm not really the one to small talk so I also do it when there's other people around, especially when I don't really know them. It's quite rude I know, but I can't avoid it.

 

[John Snort]

Phones can help you avoid unpleasant interactions but obviously people will notice you are trying to ignore them and they may think you are a snob especially if you are at party or family get-together. Elsewhere in public say a restaurant, pretending you are busy, reading text messages or even listening to music on your phone could force chatter boxes to keep their distance.

 

[Amber B.]

When I am in a large group of people by myself, I always take my phone out and start playing with it. I also pretend to be on the phone if I'm walking through a room of people like my office. I can't stand to be looked at and it gives me anxiety to walk through a room of people. Having my phone up to my hear creates a distraction for myself so I don't get so nervous.

 

[thecorinthian]

I'm not trying to avoid people, I'm trying to avoid awkwardness. I only usually use my phone when the conversation has run it's course. People just have to be comfortable with silence sometimes if we don't want to use our phones all the time. I have social anxiety and I use my phone-- I'm not ashamed of it but almost everyone does it! We're all just human!

 

[Sue]

I am not a phone person so I don't so this but if I am on the bus going to and from work I put my head phones on so that nobody talks to me. I don't like people talking on the phone if we are having dinner together. It really bothers me but athe a party that would be different.

 

[2deidara7]

I always use my phone to avoid conversations with people I'm not that close with when in a party. Especially, when I'm alone. If I'm with friends, I'll turn to them and stick close to them so if ever other people talks to me, it won't be as awkward. When meeting with someone, I make sure the place we're meeting is not too public a place and is not crowded.