Do You Have Trust Issues?

[MarciKS]

PRguru said: "So what are you finding in a person? What is you re goal you want to achieve? I can't believe not one person ever wanted to be friends with you, you are strong, stoic, yet calm and sincere from what I gather. I don't have many friends since I am focus on my studies and all of my companions moved on and I do feel lonely. But I pray and work hard on my goals and take the pain and push through it. You seem like the same way. I got beat up so.many times and got names and even blackmailed. But I always known if I am alone, then I will spit at the face of the fate that's say I am a loser."

It's not that they don't want to be friends. It's the fact that they don't want to stay friends. I'm like some temporary fix for a short period for them and then when they don't need that fix anymore then they're done with me. I don't even know it right away. Just all of a sudden, the communication slows to almost nothing and then next thing I know...nothing. It's like I never existed or mattered. They never respond to FB messages. They don't have time to talk on the phone and forget about a real time visit. I'd have better luck getting a frog to have coffee with me. I don't understand it. I don't know the cause. I'm just saying this is my reality.

What do you mean what am I finding in a person? What I look for in a friend? I don't really look for friends. Never have. People invite themselves into my world and then for whatever reason they bow out. I don't understand it at all. They see something that interests them apparently but then they lose interest quickly.

It's one thing to talk to strangers that don't have to get involved in your life. Like people here. But in the real world how many people do you know that wanna hear about your problems? Or care about you or your life? I get 1 birthday card now. From my parents. I used to exchange Christmas cards and never got any in return. Anymore people only care if it's about them. If I was looking for something in a friendship it would be the ability of the other person to remain for a lifetime and be able to share anything no matter what. But, I know that's not gonna happen.

You didn't insult me when you used the word misfit. I actually found that to be very accurate. Because that is how I have felt my whole life. Like a misfit. Like there is a puzzle in this life somewhere with a piece I fit into but, I can't find it. Don't worry about your typos. You're fine.

 

[PRguru_cfj]

Those people are always thier its the same in school and work. But using you seems odd. If they are so poor they should get a job. Hardworking people like you don't need to out up.with that. As for face book I never really got into that. I more traditional and simple. What I mean of finding a person is the type a friend you want. Also. It to prey does your parents live far away? It's hard to fund someone you accepts you for who you are and I know. I can name a thousand people who like me and have alot of superficial friendships( mostly at parties but I would not like to get in to dat)


More importantly it is the fact adult life is freakin HARD to make bonds where bonds and friendship while bill's and other crap is going on. Those people may not be intentionally blocking you friends come and go. I found that the hard way. It's all trial and error. I stopped crying and begging people to like me a long time ago. If they don't like me **** em. I had alot of food friend over the years but life just happens and they had other priorities. Like family and careers or the military.

I know you want to give I to despair but belive me you dont wantbthat. I accepted that but it never helps. I would like to ask what do you like to do? What you like and need is and what you want is important to you. If the person you want to be friend with let them come to you not the other way around

Now says Injuat mind my own business and if someone comes up to me, I jus roll with it. If they don't like me oh well. If they don't want to stay with you thier loss. Pluse I k ow its hard to I react to.people considering lingering quarantine. Even tho I sidi go out for my brithdayband may or may. It dri k ro.mych butbits beside the point.

Also I appreciate the acceptance for my typing problems. I try not to be an ass for people I try to help or impress. You I try to help considering your similar to me and we both have alot of pride. For now I say keep trying. And. Elive me it's to hard but keeping g a cool head and letting come toyou is the key. Also I appreciate you reading my messages and caring for what I have to say.

We are.both trying to find thier way in life and we are survivors whi will never break. You are more than your vices and traits. Your honestly must be heard but the right people will be the ones deserve to listen. And remember letbthey come to you and dont make such a deal about it. If he or she wa t to be your free d let's see what happens next. If not on to the next one. Its thier loss

 

[MarciKS]

I think you misunderstood what I meant by using me PRguru. They have jobs and lives. But for some reason when they need a shoulder to cry on or their bored or lonely and no one is there for them...that's when they turn to me like I'm a last resort. Does that make sense now?
I had one that came to me to be friends but she basically quit talking to me when I had to move. It's also tough to make friends when you're an introvert and a recluse. LOL! Plus I don't meet people with the same interests. Unless they're younger. I would like to have people my own age to be friends with. Oh well...it's late. I'm gonna go eat some brownies for us and go to bed.

 

[MarciKS]

Do you have trust issues? Do you not trust hardly anyone?

You don't want to be too trusting of others, of course.

However, you don't want to go through life never trusting anybody either. You'll miss out on good quality relationships with nice people who really are honest and trustworthy. And who wants to go through life never trusting anyone anyway?

Hence, their has to be a balance. And a competent therapist can teach you how to trust people, and can teach you how to trust your emotions when it comes to trusting others.

If you have trust issues, learning how to trust others doesn't happen overnight. But it can be done.

So do you have any thoughts on any of the discussion that's taken place on your thread?

 

[PRguru_cfj]

I agree that you can't trust everyone but you can't dismiss everyone either. Although some of us can't consult a therapist, dont got much green right now. For me people I do not know Inam indifferent to.them. if I.have tomqork.with them so.be it. I will keep my guard up until they show me that they can be trusted. It depends on the situation and circumstances. Some of us have the right bbn to mistrust others from past grievances

From your other post from the other day I can see you had some run ins with emotionally gold diggers( it's a thing trust me). They are the kind of people who are driven by thier own emotions but they don't want to hearbotyer be asexual they think thiers is more important. I'm starting to think they mistake your kindness for weakness. Aslo I kind if confused when you told me that only younger people would get your interests and not people your age. I had that problem to, had ot of friends younger than me but I don't see that as a problem

I moved a couple of times as well and it's hard to keep up a long distance friendship. My sister has her best friend base out in Iowa and they can only communicate through email. Maybe you were to far away or she or you had more pressing matters going on. Friends come and go, that's the way of things also I agree for your quote, and am jealous you had brownies
Since I still have my hangover from the other night I will keep sleeping the day and night away

 

[MarciKS]

I can't afford any counseling right now either. I'll talk to you later.

 

[DannyBoy101]

I trust people until they burn me

 

[MarciKS]

I trust people until they burn me

After enough times of it (the getting burned) you will want to avoid it altogether.

 

[PRguru_cfj]

So do you have any thoughts on any of the discussion that's taken place on your thread?

Me trying to fix my self and maybe, just maybe do mybvery beat to atleast help someone one a little bit so they can't be as bad as me. I would like to know if I at least helped or related to a someone

 

[Casabee]

I don't trust anyone anymore. Every time I do, I get hurt.

Me too! Its getting worse too. The more i really try to trust it always happens again, someone always lets me down or hurts me.

 

[Aries]

Me too! Its getting worse too. The more i really try to trust it always happens again, someone always lets me down or hurts me.

Maybe you are not screening people well enough? From what I've heard there are people who can be trusted - you just have to figure out who they are.

 

[Casabee]

"When children grow up in a home with alcoholism and the usual denial that surrounds it, they may develop serious trust issues as adults. The lies, the keeping secrets, and the broken promises all add up to send a message to the children that trusting can backfire on them.
Many grow into adulthood not being able to truly trust anyone, which affects their romantic, professional and spiritual relationships with others. They have been disappointed too often by the alcoholic parent to really let themselves fully trust."

Both my parents were alcoholics. My mother died in her 40s from it. But it wasn't just my parents that taught me not to trust anyone. My sister developed into a world class backstabber. Teachers at school, backstabbing co-workers..

I too had alcoholic parents. I hear what your saying and your right about how It affects children when they get older. I definitely have trust issues. I find that its worse in todays world with the lack of responsibility, moral character, self centeredness, etc...
People are raised differently and are different than when i was younger. Seems nobody truly cares about you and don't care if they lie to you or hurt you.
If my present relationship doesnt work out then i'm done with relationship s for good. I will just stay single and make myself happy. I always say, "nobody can make you any happier than you can make yourself." I'll just spoil myself

 

[Aries]

I too had alcoholic parents. I hear what your saying and your right about how It affects children when they get older. I definitely have trust issues. I find that its worse in todays world with the lack of responsibility, moral character, self centeredness, etc...
People are raised differently and are different than when i was younger. Seems nobody truly cares about you and don't care if they lie to you or hurt you.
If my present relationship doesnt work out then i'm done with relationship s for good. I will just stay single and make myself happy. I always say, "nobody can make you any happier than you can make yourself." I'll just spoil myself

I dated a woman 9 years ago. She was being mean to her kitten. Admittedly kitty was a brawler - loves to fight. I adopted the kitten and the woman went on to other guys. I love kitty.

 

[Joshua1]

Do you have trust issues? Do you not trust hardly anyone?

You don't want to be too trusting of others, of course.

However, you don't want to go through life never trusting anybody either. You'll miss out on good quality relationships with nice people who really are honest and trustworthy. And who wants to go through life never trusting anyone anyway?

Hence, their has to be a balance. And a competent therapist can teach you how to trust people, and can teach you how to trust your emotions when it comes to trusting others.

If you have trust issues, learning how to trust others doesn't happen overnight. But it can be done.

Sadly this is true, if everybody trusted each other the world would be a better place. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I also do not trust someone completely either. I would say have a heart of gold encased with steel. Gold is what it gives out and steel is what it takes in.